The Daily Peeve / Rant

[JaneV2.0]

"I remember telling my mother when I was young (and I may have already said this at some point here), "I want to do everything!" To which my mother said with a cautionary tone: "Jack of all trades, master of none..." While I've always admired single-focused folks, I'm just not wired that way. (I just saw a piece on CBS Sunday Morning about a breakthrough bluegrass musician who knew he wanted to be a bluegrass musician when he was about 5, and he's been playing bluegrass every since)"

I've never been single-minded, either. My SO used to say of me that I easily mastered skills and moved on, which wasn't the case--I just saw the next shiny thing and moved toward it. My estimation is that even if you're transparent and vocal about who you are, your loved ones will see what they want to when they look at you.

How many years is it until retirement?

[iris lilies]

I can see myself saying something to that effect, for sure. That's what perplexes me about the misperception about me from the people I love most and who are most bound to me. What have I communicated to them? it makes me almost feel that they don't know "the real me."

I remember telling my mother when I was young (and I may have already said this at some point here), "I want to do everything!" To which my mother said with a cautionary tone: "Jack of all trades, master of none..." While I've always admired single-focused folks, I'm just not wired that way. (I just saw a piece on CBS Sunday Morning about a breakthrough bluegrass musician who knew he wanted to be a bluegrass musician when he was about 5, and he's been playing bluegrass every since)

In my diary from 1965 is a drawing of a Tudor house under a weeping willow tree. The indoor blueprint showed a lower floor that was broken up into about 5-6 equal-sized rooms. One had a piano in it, one had a sewing machine in it. One had an easel in it. One had bookshelves and oak paneling and a wing chair. Probably another room had a stage in it, or maybe a chapel-type room--(that was around the time I wanted to be a nun) That was my ideal home. It represents what my ideal life would be, if I weren't working. That's why I was so flummoxed when DH asked me "But if you weren't working, what would you DO??"

I am starting to branch out into that ideal life with more sewing and more painting and certainly more gardening, and my strategy is to expand my leisure time as my financial situation approaches what it needs to be in order to stop working completely.

it’s an interesting question that’s for sure.


I’m hazarding a guess that your DH sees you very responsibly doing work each day on a schedule and being very disciplined at that. To him that might look like “Catherine works every day and fills her day with work and must like doing it because her day is full of work. “ Didn’t you have some sort of argument in the last couple years about you working versus going to New Jersey for holidays? He may see you as a workaholic rather than your own view that you have to work to make the money for the family. I know that your DH is a little vague about the money stream and its necessity.

[iris lilies]

And speaking of money, lately I’m feeling pretty icky about all the crap I’m buying. I’m like super Cassie Comsumer, shopping shopping shopping. Just because I shop at the thrift stores and troll Facebook Marketplace and ebay for specific used items doesn’t mean that I’m not addicted to shopping. Blech.

I have purchased three pieces of furniture over the past year that I need to paint in the way I envisioned before I buy any more damn furniture.


Yesterday I had a miscommunication with a Facebook marketpla e seller where I thought I bought something and it turns out I didn’t, and I was relieved. It was a great piece at a great price but I didn’t really have a place to put it.

[happystuff]

I saw that Sunday Morning bluegrass player - amazing! I keep wondering what I would be REALLY good at if I had stuck to any of the many things I "tried". I mean, I'm glad I tried different things, but I think the only thing I ever mastered was crocheting. Does that count?

How many years is it until retirement?

Got my Social Security statement in the mail last week and finally took at good look at it yesterday. To my surprise, I think I am looking at - max=25 months, min=17 months. I FINALLY feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel!!!!

Edited to add: The last part of this post should probably go in Raves. LOL.

[frugal-one]

Congrats happystuff!!! timeanddate.com is a cool site to start the countdown and also to see how many days you have been retired. I left it when I retired and it shows I have been retired 4244 days! Time goes so fast!

[pinkytoe]

I remember the exhilaration of meeting with a retirement counselor where I worked and seeing the exact date I could retire and that my frugality throughout the years would allow me to retire earlier than I expected. My boss at the time said he had never seen me so happy.

[rosarugosa]

I had a frank talk with DH today, and it was made clear to me that he believes I love my job and have no problem working forever. This was somewhat surprising but no more so than when my eldest son told me at one point "I can't see you ever retiring" and my third son said essentially the same thing. I thought I was pretty clear on the fact that I am working because I have to at this point in time. I'm grateful that I have a job that pays well and I can do from my home but that doesn't mean I'm enamored of it. It's not fulfilling beyond the ability to pay my bills. I'm not saving lives or educating children. I'm a drug dealer. I do it for the money. I have said that repeatedly, so I don't know why this perception persists.

But it cracked me up when DH said, "Well, but what would you do if you retired??" Really?? Maybe the same things he does. Or the things all my college friends do now that they are retired. Maybe do all the things I wish I had more time for. Reading, gardening, working for environmental causes, hanging out with my grandkids, babysitting more often, just sitting period.

I'm just venting over the fact that I have somehow conveyed the idea that my whole raison d'être is to spend my days interviewing doctors and writing reports that pharmaceutical companies can use to sell more drugs.

Just a vent.

Catherine: Sometimes people think what they want to think because it serves them well. Your DH no doubt finds it a comfortable thought that you might be happy working your lucrative job until you drop. This is nothing against your DH; it's just human nature. I'm sure it serves me well to think my DH loves to cook perhaps a bit more than he actually does, and DH seems to think I enjoy housework, when the truth is that I enjoy a tidy house and I'm willing to put in the work to make it happen.
I also think that when you do for others in a cheerful, uncomplaining manner, it is easier for them to take your efforts for granted. I observed my mother always giving of her time and energy endlessly and uncomplainingly, and I also noticed that others (myself included) tended to see her time as less valuable than our own because she was so generous and selfless about it. Surely time was somehow more valuable for the rest of us who were always complaining about how busy we were?

[nswef]

Our 50 year old chair - that my husband loves, popped out a spring... So now...find someone who bothers with fixing chairs. I have one or two to call, but I get so frustrated that no one wants to FIX. They want new. I'm incapable of doing it myself. Once I would have tried, but not any more. I'm also looking into sash liners for our old windows. I found a place, but need to call to see if they will do the installation. Again...not in my skill set.

[frugal-one]

I HATE TO SHOP!!!! I went today to get some new waking shoes. Of course, the only pair that I wanted was out of stock in my size. I came home with nothing. The last 2 pairs are fine to walk in but the tops rip by the toe. Think I will just wear matching socks and forget about it. Shopping to me is such an irritation.

[pinkytoe]

Shopping to me is such an irritation.

Me too. DH and I went to several stores today in search of his favorite type of pocket tee shirt. Tried ordering from amazon once and the sizing was odd/quality bad so we decided to try retail. Three stores and none had his size in dark colors like he prefers. Came home empty-handed. What a wasted morning...