The Daily Peeve / Rant

[Tradd]

My last name is such a bear to get other people to spell properly that I always swore I would never change my name unless hubby had a much easier to spell one. At this point I doubt I’ll ever get married, but that was always my stance on changing my name.

[JaneV2.0]

I have an exceptionally short and completely phonetic last name, so it's never mispronounced, but you'd be surprised at the number of times it's been misspelled. My SO had a lovely, euphonious last name, but--had we married--I would have kept my birth name.

[catherine]

I honestly got the impression from one or two people that they wanted ME to determine their surnames.

I would always assume the last name in the string of names is the surname. In my case, it's my married name. But I think that many people just don't know what a "surname" is. I bet customs officials go crazy over that when people fill out those forms on the plane before they land. There are probably all kinds of erroneous responses.

[happystuff]

When getting married, I was more or less indifferent as to whether I changed my name or not, so I did change it. Now my thinking is, I wish I had kept my birth name.

[iris lilies]

I would always assume the last name in the string of names is the surname. In my case, it's my married name. But I think that many people just don't know what a "surname" is. I bet customs officials go crazy over that when people fill out those forms on the plane before they land. There are probably all kinds of erroneous responses.

As a librarian who took cataloging classes to learn formulation of surnames, that aint always the case.

José Santos Almeida

is one thing in Spain and may be another surname in Portugal. There are all kinds of variations in the world. But I suppose this is over thinking it!

But the women with multiple names may have used her last name at one time and she is recorded that way but her married name may be her NEW last name, and in that a change of name on the record is required. That is why the individual gets to decide his/her surname.

[rosarugosa]

My last name is such a bear to get other people to spell properly that I always swore I would never change my name unless hubby had a much easier to spell one. At this point I doubt I’ll ever get married, but that was always my stance on changing my name.

Nobody can spell my last name correctly, but I find it entertaining to watch them try. DH's name is easier, but what fun is that? I used to have a little collage at work that I made from cutting out the many variations of my last name from my mail (back in the days of lots of paper).
I do dislike the symbolism of a woman's identity being subsumed by that of her husband. For me it was kind of a non-decision. I had never given the matter too much thought, but when I was getting married and was asked if I was going to change my name, it was an absolute "of course not." DH has always been on board with the decision.

[JaneV2.0]

...
I do dislike the symbolism of a woman's identity being subsumed by that of her husband...

Exactly. The women in my family mostly just switched their birth name for their middle name, which then disappeared but for an initial.

[Teacher Terry]

The first time I got married I never gave it any thought and changed my name but I was 18. Then when I divorced I kept it because I wanted the same name as my son. So when I married a second time I wanted to change my name and my second husband adopted my son.

When I got married the third time I didn’t want to change my name because I had the other one for 27 years and was known professionally by that name. But he had a fit so I changed it to a name no one could pronounce or spell. Upon divorcing I changed it back to my kids name because that’s the one I had the longest and feels like my name. People not knowing their surname are being stupid.

[catherine]

The first time I got married I never gave it any thought and changed my name but I was 18. Then when I divorced I kept it because I wanted the same name as my son. So when I married a second time I wanted to change my name and my second husband adopted my son.

When I got married the third time I didn’t want to change my name because I had the other one for 27 years and was known professionally by that name. But he had a fit so I changed it to a name no one could pronounce or spell. Upon divorcing I changed it back to my kids name because that’s the one I had the longest and feels like my name. People not knowing their surname are being stupid.

When my mother divorced and remarried, she took her second husband's last name, which gave us a different name than hers, which did get slightly confusing, especially back in the 60s when so few people were divorced, let alone on their second husbands. Then she divorced my stepfather and remarried someone whose last name happened to be just a couple of letters off from her FIRST married name. Think about how confusing that was, especially juxtaposed to the last names of her children. It caused a lot of confusion.

[iris lilies]

Today I was blocked from the very general, benign, and largely uninteresting sub Reddit R/entertainment. I’ve only posted on it a couple of times. I don’t care about that community, so this is just odd.

I was blocked because I “participate in the brigading reddit sub /Dave Chapelle.” I think I’ve posted there a total of five times.

I can only surmise that it’s the trans activist philosophy that is driving this silly moderator decision. It must be a bunch of 15-year-olds moderating the sub r/ entertainment forum, 15 year olds who have time to comb through posters on their forum and check their posts to see if there are posts from that person on Chappelle forum.