When Someone In Debt Passes Away?

[jp1]

Another piece of advice that I've learned from my father, who will be dying at some point in the next few years (he's 82 and a lifelong smoker whose lungs have been failing for several years now) is that one should have a bank account that has the executor's name on it also so that they can access at least a portion of the recently deceased's money to pay for last expenses like a funeral. Depending on the OP's MIL they may not be able to get her to agree to such, but it would be a big help to them if her DH could.

[jennipurrr]

Merski, thanks for thinking of us! Not much new here. DH has not discussed anything with his Mom and doesn't plan to right now. We both went to Alanon the other week and the topic was about acceptance, so that was pretty timely. DH did have a good talk with his aunt, but it was more about boundaries and that he will not be present if MIL is drinking and we won't drink in front of her. DHs aunt and uncle are two of the few stable people in his family without substance problems.

Two weeks ago MIL told us she was taking a spur of the moment trip to Houston to visit DH's brother. She told DH's aunt that she was going to get a second opinion at MD Anderson to confirm that everything was going well with her treatment....hmmmm. Likely she was going to get a second opinion, but I've known several people travel to MD Anderson and they all were in the last stages of cancer. She came to town the next evening and we went to dinner with her and other members of DHs family. MIL did not drink at dinner (I have NEVER seen her do that, ever) so it was either out of respect for DH or likely the Dr finally scared her? I don't believe her body is physically capable of not drinking at this stage though. I think she needs to go to treatment/detox. The rest of the crowd (DH's brother, MIL's boyfriend, MILs sister/boyfriend...not the aunt DH talked to) were drinking heavily so I feel for MIL how hard it must be when she has absolutely no support. MIL has lost a lot of weight and is losing her hair, so that was hard for DH to see in person. We are just continuing on until we hear different. I think the holidays are going to be tough this year.

[iris lily]

Only tangentially related to this topic, but I watched a documentary called A Certain Kind of Death about people who die in Los Angeles County with no next of kin. The county swoops in and gathers their stuff, catalogs it, holds it for a while, and then if no one claims it, sells it and adds the proceeeds to the deseased person's estate. They charge $750 for this service to the estate.

They hold the body in the morgue for some time (weeks?) and then after a period has passed and no one claims it, they cremate the body. They hold ashes for 2+ years and if no one (AGAIN!) comes forward to claim their relative, they bury the ashes.

They've got about 1600 cases like this each year.

[jennipurrr]

Oh wow that sounds so interesting to me, in a morbidly fascinating way.

I may have mentioned this before but we bought one of our rentals on the courthouse steps in a foreclosure sale. When we bought it I felt sort of bad because I I knew the owner had died and figured she must have been financial trouble. Afterward when we were doing the paperwork the lawyer filled us in on all the family drama (a prominent family in town, blacksheep sister passed away) and how the estate was tied up in court so they ordered the property sold because this woman left nothing to the family and everything in a trust to her dog!

[Zoebird]

we created a trust for our rabbit.

actually, it was funny. we left the rabbit as a chattel to a specific friend, and with that a trust fund to them for the care and keeping of the rabbit until it's passing, which was presided over by a vet (to determine that it was appropriate to euthanize, etc), and then when the rabbit died, they would inherit the remainder.

so, i technically left everything to the rabbit.

currently, our will is set up to create a couple of trusts. First, there is where DS would go should anything happen to us, with two back-ups in case the first two are unable to care for DS. Then, there is a trust to be managed by them for his education, which has specific and general stipulations. This will be provided over by a child psychologist and educator -- a friend of mine. The second trust is really hawk's inheritance, which is our business and other assets, which will be managed by another friend of mine (and prominent businessman himself), until Hawk is of age to decide what he wants to do with it.

When Hawk comes of age -- that is, finishes high school -- then a portion of the trust goes toward DS's university/techincal/whatever education, and then the remainder goes to our friends (caregivers). When Hawk comes of age for the second trust (which is our business, etc), then our friend receives an honorarium for a percentage of the business based on growth from the year of our passing.

This is to incentivize the parties to do well for Hawk, while also being frugal and good business folks, etc.

My lawyer gave me the eyebrow when i asked him to set up our wills this way. Which is basically all trusts. And really, our only assets are the retirement/savings and the business, so it kinda takes care of everything.

[Spartana]

Only tangentially related to this topic, but I watched a documentary called A Certain Kind of Death about people who die in Los Angeles County with no next of kin. The county swoops in and gathers their stuff, catalogs it, holds it for a while, and then if no one claims it, sells it and adds the proceeeds to the deseased person's estate. They charge $750 for this service to the estate.

They hold the body in the morgue for some time (weeks?) and then after a period has passed and no one claims it, they cremate the body. They hold ashes for 2+ years and if no one (AGAIN!) comes forward to claim their relative, they bury the ashes.

They've got about 1600 cases like this each year.

Not having any relatives but a younger sis (3 years younger) this will be me - ha ha! I actually have a pretty good will. It leaves everything to my sister, and if she passes away before me, to Best Friends Animal Sancuary in Kanab, Utah. Sis has the same. Although I do hope I die before her as she is a clutter-bug and I don't want to go thru all her stuff ;-)! My only real concern is if sis died before me and I die alone at home or in some remote place where no one realizes I'm missing or finds me for ages. Guess if she goes before me then I'll have to get one of those Lifeline thingies at home.

[Fawn]

My only real concern is if sis died before me and I die alone at home or in some remote place where no one realizes I'm missing or finds me for ages. Guess if she goes before me then I'll have to get one of those Lifeline thingies at home.

Except you can't press the button when you are dead. ;^)

[Spartana]

Except you can't press the button when you are dead. ;^)

Oh darn I knew there was a catch :-)! Actually I checked them out for my mom once and how they work is that you call in when you get up and then again when you go to bed so they know you are OK. Then if an emergency happens you can press the button ("Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"). Wouldn't work for me as I'm out and about to much (i.e. away from home travelling) but sis and I call in just a quick "I'm Alive" message each day to each other on our cell phones from where ever we are or if we go out to some remote area alone.