Stigma attached to simple/frugal living.

[iris lily]

Well, we live in the midst of people who are extremely House Proud and I love that because I visit gorgeous Victorian mansions all the time. But the flip side is that our house, while once typical of the 'nabe here in that it is "under construction" (ha ha no activity for 10 years, but I digress), is now an oddity. I cling to my one friend who has a house in the same state as ours. Just about every other house is "done".

So when I plan to refresh our kitchen, which is in desperate need of it, everyone thinks "granite countertops." Ummm, no. While I could afford to pave my entire block with granite sidewalk if I chose to do that, I'm just not gonna spend the money. I want to paint the cabinents that we have (which are very nice, I love them--built by DH) and replace countertop--probably--and fix cracked tile on the floor. That's' about it. But that standard isn't in line with other kitchens around here! I am fine with that.

[Gina]

In this SL group I feel rather normal, but when I am out and about, I proudly consider myself to be an eccentric. I would rather not work and have all my time to do whatever (withing reason) I want rather than have all the bells and whistles some consider essential.

I belong to a club. Most of us (esp the women) have known each other for years. They are mostly middle class and most have at least part-time jobs. Many complain about not liking their jobs, but don't seem to get the connection between spending less and not having to work. I guess they would rather buy the latte's, spend $15-20 for a lunch out, go to a movie a week, massages, have the big-screen tv, buying this or that for the kids, etc... I may sound critical, but most of these friends (nice women) are working for the extras, not basic rent or food money.

Last week I was telling these friends that I had figured out a way to make moderately good champagne from cheap dry white wine (inject it with CO2). One asked in disbelief 'why don't you just buy real champagne - there are some good cheap ones.' Sigh... If I can save a few $ by doing something myself - and not have to work - I'm going to.

[pony mom]

Contentment is something that a lot of us here have that isn't found in most other people. Being happy with what we have and making do takes so much pressure off of us; the newest, latest, greatest must-have isn't necessary. We can enjoy the little things that make our simple life easier and if others think that we're a bit odd, so be it.

I always think of little kids unwrapping a big gift with an expensive toy inside, and playing with the box instead. We may be simple, but we're not 'simple minded'. It takes a lot of creativity and ingenuity to live the way we do and the pride we feel can't be bought.

One former coworker, a hairdresser, makes a lot of money but has nothing to show for it---in debt, lost her house, no money put away for her kids. She would always say "You gotta live a little" and I sometimes feel like I'm missing out on something when everyone has nicer things, takes vacations and spoils themselves. Maybe I am, I dunno. Hopefully I won't look back at my life and regret how I lived. Right now I don't feel as if I'm sacrificing anything by the choices I've made. This year I'm trying to live with less, especially since my income has gone down A LOT. I enjoy a challenge and it's kinda fun figuring out ways to save money. These forums are a great place for making us all feel more 'normal'.

[flowerseverywhere]

I sometimes feel like I'm missing out on something when everyone has nicer things, takes vacations and spoils themselves. Maybe I am, I dunno. Hopefully I won't look back at my life and regret how I lived. Right now I don't feel as if I'm sacrificing anything by the choices I've made. This year I'm trying to live with less, especially since my income has gone down A LOT. I enjoy a challenge and it's kinda fun figuring out ways to save money. These forums are a great place for making us all feel more 'normal'.

I think that we have all been brainwashed into thinking there is a new normal that includes piles of material stuff that may have no value, or even negative value in our lives that extends into all areas of our lives. I was given some money for a job I did and it sits in my wallet. Besides food I can't think of anything I need. Maybe some new footwear eventually but my house is full and my life is too.

The years that we didn't have the newest, latest, greatest were accumulating years for us which enabled us to help our kids get through university and save for retirement/FI. Since we were able to leave the normal workforce (we both do some part time meaningful work) we have had the most fulfilling and happy lives.

[sweetana3]

Our best friends are having personal issues now that the DH is retired. They have never budgeted and both have excessive spending habits. We just gently explain that we do not want to go out to dinner a lot because it is costly and how about lunch or eating at home?

I am trying to get her to make some presents for the granddaughters since it is a good time for dress up stuff or doll clothes but she seems to be in a spending contest with a wealthy daughter in law. I am going to continue with ideas this year.

She really needs to stop looking at catalogs and media sources. It would make her a lot happier.

[Life_is_Simple]

I am lucky that my entire family is frugal, and my friends as well. My BF is more frugal than I am. He is an engineer, and he LOVES fixing things.

I have almost the opposite problem as mentioned in the thread. I'm fairly frugal, but the frugal-ness (frugalocity?) allows me to spend in other places.

People will notice the one place i am spending money, and focus on that. Like, people at a previous job would find out I have a personal chef and think I made a lot of money. I would tell them, "This shirt I'm wearing cost me 25c. These pants - 25c." Plus, the chef frees up time and energy for me, which improves my health, and allows me to make more money. Also, it's amazing what you can afford, when you stop looking at all the new gadgets and trinkets.

Funny, my friends at that job were quite frugal, and we all had FICO scores around 800.

I should seek out some acquaintances who are non-frugal, just to remind me how good I have it.

[Gina]

People will notice the one place i am spending money, and focus on that. Like, people at a previous job would find out I have a personal chef and think I made a lot of money. I would tell them, "This shirt I'm wearing cost me 25c. These pants - 25c." Plus, the chef frees up time and energy for me, which improves my health, and allows me to make more money. Also, it's amazing what you can afford, when you stop looking at all the new gadgets and trinkets.

Yep. For years I think people thought I was financially destitute... till I purchased this house. Excellent view of the ocean in a nice neighborhood. You could see some of their jaws almost drop as they visited my (at the time) new home. Not that it's a McMansion (it's not), but it is nice and didn't fit with their conception of someone who was driving a 19 yr old car, buys clothes at the thrift store, rarely eats out or goes to movies, no cell phone, grows her own veggies....

We all have our priorities.

[sweetana3]

It is all about maximum value for money spent. I would take Lean Cuisine to work to save money and calories. I shop at garage sales for clothes. However, we just spent 30 days in Thailand. Choices choices choices.

[Life_is_Simple]

Yep. For years I think people thought I was financially destitute... till I purchased this house. Excellent view of the ocean in a nice neighborhood. You could see some of their jaws almost drop

LOL, Gina! Don't you love messing with people's heads like this?

[fidgiegirl]

I've never commented to someone 'well, you sure are extravagant'.

That's the rub for me. For me to point this out to anyone would be considered extremely rude, but not for them to call me cheap.

Oh well. I like my job, and if we lived more extravagantly we couldn't both be teachers. We couldn't have our summers off. We couldn't live in this cute, convenient, safe neighborhood.