question about interactions with teacherrs

[Zoe Girl]

In the work forum I posted that I was supporting a parent of one of my students by going to a conference about his behavior and being challenged. So I went this morning. I am not sure what I think. the meeting kept on going back to behavior when the parent wanted to talk about challenging him as well, plus get a behavior plan and communication on how he is doing. We walked out with no behavior plan in place other than what I offered as the before and after school supervisor. The teacher is going to communicate to me apparently but the parent waited 3 months for this meeting and still doesn't have a real solid plan.

So here is the kicker, parent met with principal after school to talk more and was told he would not be moved from the class (okay all the kindergarten classes have at least 30 students so that makes some sense) and that she should not expect communication from the teacher. Someone will apparently be communicating with her but not the teacher because she does not have time.

Okay I am a certified teacher myself and I have been in difficult classes and had a huge work load but I thought that communicating with parents was part of the teacher job. I don't think the parent is asking for more than a weekly update and some idea of what they are working on in class so she can support that. My supervisor suggested that she go above the principal and she would have the support of our before and after program.

[muse]

I am a teacher and my head would be on a plate if I tried to pull that. Unbelievable!

[Bastelmutti]

Agree with muse. I am not a teacher, but there is no way the principal at our girls' school would allow teachers to get away with refusing to communicate w/parents. By behavior plan, do you mean IEP? Are they legally allowed to let a kid slide like that who has been identified as needing an IEP? (Again, I am not a teacher, so I may be misunderstanding this.)

[Gina]

What's an IEP? Thanks.

[iris lily]

"Individualized Education Program" which is mandated by federal law if the child falls into one of several defined categories.

[Gina]

Ah, thanks Iris lily. I'm not very good with acronyms, ..and wouldn't have know what that meant anyway.

[Kathy WI]

My son's kindergarten teacher was just like that. I had no idea he was having behavior problems until we went to the first parent-teacher conference a couple months into the school year expecting to hear what a brilliant student my son was, only to have her go on and on about his bad behavior. The only monitoring she would do was to give each kid a sticker on a chart if they had a "good day". One little mistake the whole day = no sticker, bad day. Eventually I had to talk to the principal about how my son was starting to hate school (in kindergarten already!) because every day was a "bad day". The principal and school counselors came up with a simple chart where the day was divided into four or five time periods, and he could get smiley faces for being good for a shorter time period, which would give him more positive feedback. He brought that sheet home every day. Maybe if that teacher can't be bothered to communicate with the parents, she could at least be required to do something like that. Sounds like somebody higher up would have to make her do it.

[bae]

No communication with my child's teacher!?!? That's insane.

I'd pull the kid from that school in an instant, and make quite a fuss about it.

[Zoe Girl]

Thank you all, there is no IEP for this student. He has behavior issues and is finally being looked at by the psychologist but not diagnosed with anything specific. I agree with the behavior plans that break the day down and focuses more on positive. I am shocked that there is no behavior tracking in this classroom that I have seen. I have seen the stickers, traffic light systems, mountain styles where they move up or down, reward tickets, etc. I have been in at least 75 schools in 4 districts over 5 years so there is a lot out there. And to me any kid who truly hates school in kindergarten in a red flag. Hey he isn't easy and both mom and I know that but we both are seeing progress with him as well as in his church sunday school.

The mom is still thinking and today he didn't think he was going to stay at school all day. I talked to him before school about the cool thing we are doing after school and I think he is going to try and stay all day but I can't do anything to make a part of his day during school enjoyable. At least she has a chance to move over the summer or in a year and she may do it this summer to get a school change with less disruption. I am just mad because she shouldn't have to when she is willing to work with the teacher and school after all.

[lhamo]

The teacher does sound really off and my signals would be flashing, too. But I would be very careful about getting too directly involved in the dynamic between the parent/child and the teacher. Teachers talk, and if this one perceives that you are undermining her (even if you are just trying to do what is in the best interests of the kid), she may try to undermine you right back with the other teachers and the principal. I would instead focus on what you can do, proactively, to support the child and the parent. Sounds like you are already doing wonderful things on that front with your after-school activities. Give the parent suggestions of SPECIFIC THINGS she can ask for from the teacher or the principal. Maybe talk to the principal about the situation, but make it clear that what you want to do is support the child and the other teacher. And focus on helping the child develop the skills he needs to function in this environment. Maybe you can incentivize him with your own kind of reward structure? Let him report to you every day how his day in the other class went, and give him points for things done well or something, that add up to special activities that he really likes. Maybe having that kind of positive reinforcement to look forward to at the end of the day will help a little. Big challenge. HOpe you are able to help this family work through it.

lhamo

PS: There may be other things going on with the teacher that the principal can't/won't let others know about. I was in a particularly challenging 4th grade class. It was a little bit like Lord of the Flies, actually -- tons of stuff going on socially between different factions that spilled over into the classroom. Our teacher was a WONDERFUL, experienced teacher, but we literally drove her to a nervous breakdown that year. She stopped teaching us a couple of months before the end of the year. We all felt HORRIBLE about it. I think she was also going through a divorce at the time, so it probably wasn't just us, but the crazy classroom dynamic certainly played a role. Just throwing this in there to point out that, as you know, people react to stress differently and the principal is probably already aware that this teacher is struggling, so maybe there are some different ground rules for her to ensure that she is able to keep going. That is not necessarily the best for the kids, but... Hey. Maybe you could suggest that you and she swap jobs