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Thread: Letting go

  1. #1
    Senior Member mira's Avatar
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    Question Letting go

    Does anyone have any strategies for "letting go" of issues that are inconsequential/insignificant that end up causing you stress?

    I seem to hold on to things and let them make me anxious/stressed/worried, even though I know fine well that they're not important. I suppose that's half the problem - our tendency to assign meaning to everything. I seem to be mis-assigning it!

  2. #2
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    oh my gosh, let's see.......worrying non-stop about my kids.....oldest is 31, married with a 2 yr old......youngest is 24 and still at home, lost her job in Aug, has no social life etc........I am afraid that sometimes no matter how much I reason with myself it does not help. I do know that when I get adequate exercise, the stress is much less.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Jemima's Avatar
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    If there's something you can do to fix the stressors, do it. If not, remind yourself that God didn't die and leave you in charge of the universe. There are many things in life that are beyond our control.

    If worry is your problem, here's something I tried that seemed to help. (I used to worry myself sick years ago.) Make a list of all the things that are stressing you. Put the list out of sight and don't look at it for at least a month. Then review it and see how many of your worries actually came to pass.

    To quote (possibly somewhat inaccurately) Mark Twain: "I've seen many troubles in my life, most of which never happened."

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    Senior Member ctg492's Avatar
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    I posted before about my quest for acceptance in 2012, which could be the same as Letting Go. I am working hard at it, my worring has never taken care of any issue I know this. I like the advice from Jemima to make a list and revisit it. I do that mentally now by thinking back on past events that casued me pain and worry...WHAT really became of those I tell myself. NOTHING, they all work out one way or another, without my worry. I have a long way to go, but wonder do we ever reach a level of no worry? I think being caring humans, it is in our nature to a certain extent to worry. May you find your peace too.

  5. #5
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    As Jemina mentioned, I was asked once when dealing with an issue, "who put you in charge of this?" Since then I have tried to focus on doing what I can whether it be contacting appropriate agency, or person or simply praying to know that each person has as much intelligence and wisdom as I do and should my input be required, I will be so advised and then letting go. That last part has been most effective for me.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  6. #6
    Senior Member Gardenarian's Avatar
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    I have trouble with this too, mainly in social situations. I try to focus on the positive parts of my life and not give attention to the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."

    I do affirmations and find them very helpful. Sometimes I write down my affirmations; sometimes I use mala beads and repeat them as a form of meditation. An example of an affirmation for me: "I have the power to be happy and calm at will."
    "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” -- Gandalf

  7. #7
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    Wow, another place to recommend Byron Katie. Here is one of my favorites: There's your business, God's business, and everyoe else's business. God's business is the weather, etc. If you're in someone else's business, you are not in yours!

    Worrying about uncontrollable things is being in someone else's business.

  8. #8
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    Also consider the meaning you are assigning to things and think about whether other more positive meanings are equally valid. A big help with this strategy is The Feeling Good Handbook by Burns.

  9. #9
    Senior Member pony mom's Avatar
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    I worry about everything but not as much as in the past. On my way to work, I worry that I'll have massage clients, worry that I won't have any, worry worry worry. Now I tell myself out loud during my drive that "Today was a great day. Everything went well." Note that I use the past tense, as if the great day has already happened. I remind myself that work hasn't killed me yet (crippled, yes), I'm lucky to have a job, etc.

    The other day I worried and dreaded over filling out an application for an individual health insurance plan. Four pages, lots of information needed. Finally I decided to cover up everything but the line I was filling out. Turned out that I didn't have to fill out much at all, a phone call to Horizon answered my confused brain, and it was a piece of cake.

    Letting go of an issue means losing control over it, trusting that it will all work out just fine. You can only do as best you can with the knowledge you have at that time---remember that for present and past issues.

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