Small Victory

[Stella]

I took the kids to see Santa on Saturday as part of a Christmas tree lighting celebration that included horse drawn carriage rides and bonfires. It was a lot of fun and we were the first in line to see Santa. Only the girls wanted to do it, and when they got up there they started having a conversation with Santa and had to be reminded to ask for a gift. They each asked for one small thing.

Yesterday we ended up getting free tickets to a Tea with Mrs. Claus event. Part of the festivities was writing a letter to Santa. Both of them wrote stuff like, "Dear Santa, I hope all is well with you at the North Pole. I hope you have a very nice Christmas." Not a single request for anything. On the other hand they are very excited to make fudge to give to their friends and family.

It makes me happy that gift getting is apparently not that big a deal to the kiddos, but they do enjoy giving. I aksed them what their favourite part of Christmas is and they talked about doing fun things with their family and friends. Score one for anti-commercialism!

[iris lily]

This is so nice to hear.

[cdttmm]

Stella, that is awesome!!! You and Zach are obviously doing a fantastic job of raising them with the message that Christmas is about more than getting a pile of presents under the tree. Go you!!!

[razz]

What a lovely post!

[Merski]

Stella, this is just what WWJB documentary has hoping for. What nice children and equally great parenting.

[crunchycon]

Not a small victory at all.

[Stella]

Thanks everyone! It made me really happy to realize what a small part gift giving plays in their Christmas fun.

Zach and I decided to take the tactic of just keeping Christmas gifts simple and not making a big deal of the gift giving either way. It's not the point of the season and it's not the enemy. I answer questions if they have any. This year I had to explain what Black Friday was. they were kind of horrified. That is my tactic on a lot of things, just quietly make the way I want them to grow up the "norm" without making a big deal about it and answer questions about our values when they notice something. It seems to work well. They don't watch TV with advertisements and we almost never go to the mall, so there's not a lot of outside influence.

I was thinking as Santa reminded them to ask for something about how much of the frenzy and "gifts are everything" mentality probably comes from adults making a big deal out of it either out of a desire to please or anxiety about making things perfect.

I don't usually take them to see Santa for that very reason. Recieving a gift should be a grateful thing. If someone asks you what you want, it's fine to answer, but the point of a gift is that someone cares about you and wants to do something nice for you. Sitting around thinking about exactly what you want and expecting someone else to deliver seems more like demanding ransom to me than opening your heart to recieve the love of another person.

[Acorn]

That is no small victory! Sounds like you are raising wonderful children. I think it is so difficult to instill a strong sense of individuality in kids because they are so prone to external pressures. Even adults are prone, so I find the challenge with children even harder. If they can grasp and hold on to their individuality from a young age it is a wonderful thing.