Some updates, and a weird situation at work

[frugalone]

Hi, folks: I'm not sure how much about my job I want to talk about right now. Let us just say it is not the dream job I thought it would be. And I am considering what other options I might have, job-wise.

In the meantime, I want to ask your advice on this situation. I have never, in my life, encountered anything like this before. Nor have I heard of anyone else running in this type of thing.

My boss likes to talk. And I do mean talk. I mean, he starts almost the moment I come in and continues on till the moment he leaves. And it's always about himself. He's a single man, never married, no children, and his hobbies are his life. He goes on and on and on about his latest "project" and how "this could be the big one" and "I'm really onto something here." Ad nauseum.

You might ask: when do you people get some work done? I have to say that this place is in a weird netherland between being understaffed and overstaffed. Therefore, he has lots and lots of time to talk about his personal life. He doesn't just do this to me. He'll talk to others on the staff, the students, the professors.

I can't exactly blow him off by saying "Sorry, I'd love to chat, but I have work to do." Because I don't, most of the time. (This is one of the reasons I am considering leaving).

It's starting to drive me crazy. My main co-worker, the other library tech, spends most of her time online and ignores him. He seems to be directing most of his patter at me. I don't know what goes on when I'm not here, though.

What can I do?

Edit: It's nearly impossible to get him to change the subject. If you do, five minutes later he's saying, "Well, as I was saying..."

[iris lily]

...
In the meantime, I want to ask your advice on this situation. I have never, in my life, encountered anything like this before. Nor have I heard of anyone else running in this type of thing.

My boss likes to talk. And I do mean talk.

What an idiot. Clueless idiot. You are stuck with the idiot.

The only thing I can think of is this:

Since Idiot can't provide you with enough work to keep you busy, you could mention to one of his peers that you often find yourself with free time, are there projects that they need done? Mention this conversation to your boss in a very friendly, upbeat way as in: "Oh I happened to be talking to Perl and I mentioned that sometimes I have some open time. She may be giving me X work to do. I hope that is ok."

Usually people who are this clueless won't have the balls to tell you that he won't allow you to perform work for another supervisor. But if you think this will rock hi self-centered idiotic boat, then do not do it.

[SteveinMN]

The main problem is that people like that often do not pick up on subtle cues. Your co-worker has figured out that she can outright ignore Boss and she still gets to work there. You might have to be that direct, too, though I can understand being uncomfortable doing that.

I suppose removing yourself to some fictitious meeting somewhere is not possible?

It might work to pick up a mug or cup as soon as he appears and excuse yourself to fill it up with water to drink or for your plants, or to suddenly need some office supply of some sort. Would he really wait around till you came back?

Or you may could tell him that you can't chat because you have work to do and then do something, even if it's exploring the myriad features and all the menus of Microsoft Word. Any way you could re-orient your computer or workspace so he cannot corner you and/or see your screen?

Finally, if you think you're going to stay, you could try going to his boss or HR. But if you're really thinking of getting out, going over his head is unnecessary. Just think pleasant thoughts of some future workplace without a babbling Boss.

Boss is doing this to you because you, more than your other colleagues, let him. If you shut down the path to conversation, he'll likely just go someplace else. Where is not something you need to worry about.

[frugalone]

It's worse than you guys think.

His desk is 10 feet from mine, he can see everything I'm doing (coworker's desk has a wall next to it so he cannot see her, nor is it as easy for him to talk to her). I only have to work with him 3 hours a day because his shift ends at my lunch hour, but still...In short, no, I can't get away from him because I need to be here at the circulation desk, nor can I move my computer.

He's been here 20 years, so has his boss, and he's friendly with his boss. Being here 3 or 4 months, I don't think going above his head is going to work.

Maybe the only thing I can do is kind of stop responding to his comments. Don't act interested. The sad thing is, I LIKE the guy...and he's a nice person...it's just getting old, fast.

He doesn't actually have any peers. There's his boss, and then above that guy is the Big Boss. The other library tech gets to escape to help the gals in interlibrary loan every afternoon for an hour. Perhaps I should ask if there is something for which I could be cross-trained, as she is?

[iris lily]

...Finally, if you think you're going to stay, you could try going to his boss or HR. But if you're really thinking of getting out, going over his head is unnecessary...

No! Do not under any circumstances go above his head. I guarantee that his boss knows exactly what a useless blabbering idiot he is. The Big Boss has chosen to do nothing. Chances are the Big Boss is just as useless.

Boss is doing this to you because you, more than your other colleagues, let him. If you shut down the path to conversation, he'll likely just go someplace else. Where is not something you need to worry about.

Yes, agreed.

One thing you can do it read at your desk between doing check-out work. Read library journals. Surely he wouldn't object to that. And that would help you have something to turn to, away from him, to signal that you are done listening to him.

[lhamo]

Sympathies. Sounds like a difficult situation to manage. Some thoughts.

1) If he has been working several hours already with the silent-treatment tech by the time you come in, he is probably very eager to talk to someone and hence he latches on to you. I'd try turning it around. As soon as you see him say, "Hey X, what's the latest on your Y project?" Let him fill you in and then say something to disassociate yourself from it like "Wow, sounds like you're making progress there. Look forward to hearing more about it tomorrow, now I've gotta check my email/file these documents/get my coffee/etc." Kind of set up a little ritual where you engage, let him talk a bit, but then disengage.

2) Definitely look into cross-training or any other little initiative you can get involved in that will keep you occupied DURING THE HOURS HE IS THERE. Since you engage with the public maybe you could suggest setting up some "Library Tech Office Hours" during that period. Maybe they won't get used very often, but if you are encouraging people to come to you during that time then you also have another natural disengagement strategy. "Hey X, that sounds fascinating but there's someone waiting for help so we'll have to discuss it more later."

3) Turn the conversation back to work and your duties. This might be a challenge, depending on what his hobby is, but probably you can find SOMETHING to use to redirect the conversation. So if he is going on and on about how he picked out the particular color red that will be exactly right to make him look like a studmuffin in his newly restored sportscar, you can say "You know, I always find that attention to those kinds of details is really important, and it is interesting to see how it affects people's reaction. I wonder whether there are certain colorschemes we could use in our office/on our materials to see if it attracts more people to use our services. I think I'm going to do a little test of how many copies of the ABC brochure get picked up when we have the font in that cherry red you like versus the blue we currently use. I'll design a test and track the statistics and let you know how it turns out." Then you also have a little project you can reference whenever he overstays his welcome. "Gee X, love to chat more but I need to work on that color test project!"

4) Google is your friend. Whenever he starts going off about whatever, let him talk a bit and then say, "You know, I wonder if anyone has done any research on that? Let me see if I can find you anything relevant." Google and send him 4-5 relevant links. At least he'll have somethign to read for awhile....

If your hours can be a little more flexible, shift your schedule back an hour so you only overlap for two hours.

Good luck. Hope you can turn this around and/or find something new soon.

lhamo

[cdttmm]

Perhaps it would help if you calculate how much you make per hour. Then when he starts talking to you think to yourself, "I'm getting paid $X.XX per hour to listen to this guy talk. Sure beats heavy lifting!"

Seriously, this is how I prevent myself from quitting my job some days. <sigh>

[razz]

A non-stop talker is very stressful to most people so you have my sympathy.

I know that it is frustrating for you but have you thought that maybe you are providing a valuable service to the library by redirecting his attention? Some of ways suggested above will help.
May I suggest that you see your job somewhat differently than just the simple job description of duties?
He is needy so can you suggest ways that his projects could be helpful elsewhere or activities that he could do that will benefit the library and help him? I know that you have your hands full with life itself and its responsibilities but you are being stretched and will learn a lot in the process of dealing with this.

Hope that all these responses help you cope and excel.