Tipping (as an act of kindness)

[Float On]

I know as frugal/simple types most of us don't eat out all that often but when you do how do you handle the tip? Are you strict with the 15%, 18%? Or sometimes do you just go all out and do a 50% or more tip?

Last night our son wanted to take his girlfriend out to eat (neither of them are interested in getting their licenses yet) so we dropped them off at their restaurant and we went to a different one.

We live in a tourist town. The evening rush at restaurants can be crazy because most people are trying to get a quick meal before heading to a music show - tempers flare and waitstaff is rushing, kitchens back up, people get mad and of course blame the waitstaff and leave lousy or no tips.

It was one of those kind of nights. You could tell the whole waitstaff was just waiting to get through the night and when your working for not much more than $2 an hour plus tips that can be a long night. There didn't appear to be a manager on duty, there was only one busboy so tables weren't getting cleared fast enough, a line out the door waiting for tables, plates dropping, children crying, etc...etc...

I knew our waitress was having a bad night and trying not to let it show. She was so sweet and I saw her yelled at twice by tables upset that their meals hadn't been served and they had to get to their shows.

I left over 50% tip.
As we were walking out towards the lobby she caught up with us and gave me a huge hug and a 'thank you, you made my night' before rushing back in to the mess.

Anyway, I just want to encourage everyone to be observant, be kind and make a difference.

[cdttmm]

You could not pay me enough to work in the service industry. I always tip 20% or more and have been know to tip as much as 100% in unusual circumstances. Of course, I am treated extremely well at the restaurants I frequent. What comes around, goes around.

I also generously tip the woman who cuts my hair. Somehow I never have a problem getting an appointment even during her busiest weeks of the year.

[cattledog]

I tip at least 20% for restaurant meals. Most servers do a very good job. I'm extra generous (and pleasant!) to servers in the situation you described.

I go to one of those cheap places for my haircuts. The cuts are $13 and I always round it up to $20. I'll tip more if the stylist spends extra time on my hair (they don't have to).

That's about the extent of my tipping. I cannot stand those tip jars at takeout counters. I don't get it. A tip for ringing up a purchase?

[Miss Cellane]

About once a month, I go out to eat with a couple of friends. One of them is a hairdresser, and kind of relies on her tips sometimes. She's very insistent on tipping 20%.

One night, our waitress had another table that was just awful. Lots of snarky, mean demands for more water, soda refills, two dishes were sent back to the kitchen, complaints left and right. We were kind of puzzled, because we'd eaten there several times before and never had a single complaint about the service and the food was always good.

After the people at that table left, we heard another waitress ask ours about the tip--they left nothing.

We didn't even really discuss it, but we left about a 50% tip, because waitressing is hard enough, without having to deal with people like that. And like the OP, the waitress caught us as we were leaving and thanked us.

[leslieann]

When I was 16 I worked as a waitress for about a month of weekends. I was badly (BADLY) suited to the work, not being much of a multi tasker and easily overwhelmed by worries that I wasn't doing well. One night a very young couple (well, older than me!) left me a little business card with a prayer on it and a handwritten note that said, "We think you are doing a good job!" and a ten dollar bill. Mind you, this was in 1972 and at HoJo's so that was a whopper tip. It made me cry, made my night, and also made me leave to get another job that was more my speed. Since then, though, I have always had a very kind eye for servers and tipped as generously as I could. Of course, I don't eat out much, either, and when I do it is usually at diners so a generous tip is still not huge. But I second cdttmm: I am enormously grateful that I don't have to work in that industry.

[CathyA]

That was really nice of you Float On! And I'm sure she meant what she said......that you salvaged her otherwise rotten night!
We usually give the amount we feel they deserved. If they were rude to us, they get nothing. The base is 15% if they did very little and weren't very attentive. Usually we give 18-20% if they do a fairly good job. We give more, if they really go out of their
way or if they're being abused by other customers!).

One time, long ago, we ate at a really fancy restaurant (The Ritz Carlton). We had a really nice waiter. He worked really hard. Next to us was a big table full of what appeared to be a boss and his underlings (about 8-10 of them). If you wanted the apricot souffle.......you had to order it at the beginning of your meal. Well, after dinner the waiter came out with all the souffles and the boss said "We don't want them now. You were too late!" You could tell the others at his table were really embarrassed. The boss was an *ss and was just trying to look like a powerful person. The "boss" refused them.
We felt so bad for the waiter! He had been running his butt off and was so kind.
Needless to say, he got a huge tip from us!

[kally]

Do the wait staff really get paid that little where you live? That is so low.

[mtnlaurel]

Do the wait staff really get paid that little where you live? That is so low.

I worked in F&B for about 10 yrs in about 15 or so restaurants across the country:
$2.13 an hour -- this was in the 90's

And the more screwball places:
- I had to pay the 3% Amex or MC/Visa percentage fee out of my tips
- One place required that I tip out manager on duty although he was salaried
- Another place required that I tip out - hostess, kitchen, dishwasher, bussers*
*always a good practice to oil the wheels of those whose services you depended on to make your own money, but I resented being dictated to whom and how much no matter the level of their work

But it was fun work, low commitment and great money for the hrs. worked.
And actually did a great job for preparing me for my future career - most jobs I've had I have to do about 20 things at once, most of which don't go as planned and you have to move forward anyway..... and be nice about it.
A night being in front of the house in a restaurant is like being pelted in dodge ball and having to smile the whole time!
A total rush.

[freein05]

I always tip at least 20% or more for the reasons stated above and because many of the restaurants are family owned in our area. The extra money helps them to stay in business and compete against the chains.

[Jemima]

I definitely lean toward generous tipping, starting at 20% for an adequate job - cab drivers, hair stylists, wait persons, etc. I'm grateful that anyone is willing to do those jobs and do them well.