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Thread: "other women hate me for my lovely looks"

  1. #1
    Senior Member mira's Avatar
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    Question "other women hate me for my lovely looks"

    Here in the UK, a woman named Samantha Brick has been ripped apart by thousands of derogatory comments made by people over the last few days in response to an article she wrote about how difficult it is to be beautiful: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...beautiful.html

    After causing such uproar amongst readers, she came back with this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...hes-right.html

    While I think the premise for her article was insipid (but hey, it's the Daily Mail, which is not renowned for insightful, intelligent articles...), some of the comments were so vile and hateful that I really feel terrible for her. I can't believe the amount of insensitivity it has provoked. Part of me thinks it's all part of some elaborate publicity stunt...

    Any thoughts?

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    I agree with the comments - she is not very attractive. Her face is not symmetrical which is one of the key components to making someone 'beautiful'

    Being a tall thin blonde will always attract attention but her face isn't what I consider good looking-she is average.

    I too find her article insipid and even her rebuttal-she is lost in her own cloud of self love

    When you decide to pen an article like this you better damn well be sure you look like Nefertiti before you begin. All others will be tarred and feathered

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    Senior Member Jemima's Avatar
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    Without all the heavy duty makeup, she'd fade into the crowd. I think she's quite ordinary looking. Maybe other women dislike her because she's conceited and arrogant.

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    Like it or not, one of the unspoken rules about beauty seems to be, "you're not allowed to talk about yourself being beautiful." The mainstream internet is a cesspool of resentment, with a ton of small-minded people in their closed little lives lashing out viciously at things they object to, from the safety of anonymity. She should not be surprised at a response like this, disturbing as it is.

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    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Well, it's a typical Daily Mail article. Of course they knew people would jump all over it. I don't blame the subject at all.. it seems she was just reporting what it's like to be tall, blonde, and attractive. (I think she's reasonably nice looking). Kind of a peek into how the "other half" lives. God knows no one has paid for my movie tickets, unless I was related to them.

    Whenever I want to feel despair over the human race I read comments following internet articles. I guess the anonymity brings out the unbridled meanness of people. In fact, I've often been glad I've had the SLN safe haven to retreat to--we have our moments on this forum but nothing like the horrible, insensitive discussions out there in the mainstream!
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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    Quote Originally Posted by puglogic View Post
    Like it or not, one of the unspoken rules about beauty seems to be, "you're not allowed to talk about yourself being beautiful." The mainstream internet is a cesspool of resentment, with a ton of small-minded people in their closed little lives lashing out viciously at things they object to, from the safety of anonymity. She should not be surprised at a response like this, disturbing as it is.
    I see nothing wrong with people acknowledging that they are better looking than average but she is not. Had she truly been a stunningly attractive women I highly doubt she would have received all these comments.

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    The premise of the article may have worked if she looked like Gisele Bundchen, but I don't see it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mighty Frugal View Post
    I see nothing wrong with people acknowledging that they are better looking than average but she is not. Had she truly been a stunningly attractive women I highly doubt she would have received all these comments.
    Which is probably why they ran the article. I didn't see any original pictures, but this photographer is either a very poor one or definitely not going for stunning in that shot.

  9. #9
    Senior Member IshbelRobertson's Avatar
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    This woman seems to have been used as a freelance for the Daily Mail (not a paper that anyone I know would give any kudos to!) - she has written a couple of other, controversial articles (according to a report I read somewhere) - seems to me that the DM use her to provide articles which will court controversy - and that they pay her for those sort of articles.

    IMO? She's not pretty. She is average looking. The fact that she seems to believe she's pretty is a self-delusional belief, but some of the vitriol that people have expressed? Sad.

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    i have several takes on the matter.

    1. Jealousy

    The reality is that people get jealous over all kinds of stupid things -- myself included. Whenever this woman encountered problems in her work life, it may not have been about her appearance -- she might have simply assumed that. It may have been from any number of things.

    In talking with a friend of mine (great guy) about some of my past experiences and not knowing what the deal was, he said that he suspects it was two things: 1. they were intimidated by my ability/talent/skill; and 2. i'm pretty damn direct in my opinion. if I think something isn't great, I'll tell them "I think that you need to work on the following 72 areas." He says it's like skilled knife work. You are cut precisely with no bones about it. LOL He's right, too. This kicks up all kinds of resentments and frustrations for people -- and can make it difficult to work with me. And hence, I get fired.

    or, it could be my good looks, seeing as I'm blond, tall, smile a lot, and more attractive than the lady in the picture if I do say so myself.

    But I think that always defaulting to "she doesn't like me because I'm attractive" is. . . not being clear about the whole picture of myself? an excuse perhaps to not have to take responsibility for my knife skills?

    2. I wouldn't necessarily assume that people are nice to her because she is so beautiful.

    I figure that I'm not that pretty. I think it's because of my life experiences, and in part because i don't put a whole lot of stock in my appearance. My husband says I'm very pretty, and other people have said so as well, but I've focused more on cultivating my intellect and "person" than on cultivating my looks. My husband says it's refreshing that I don't "trade on" my looks.

    Nevertheless, like this woman, I get a lot of attention.

    I assume it is because I am friendly and pleasant.

    I find it very important to be well mannered. To make eye contact and to smile at people. To treat others very generously -- giving them attention in my day to day life. I hold doors for people, smile at them, will pay bus fare if need be, hold bags for them while they organize their luggage, or whatever else may need to happen. I tend to strike up conversations with strangers, and I try to treat people very well in general.

    People appreciate this behavior -- both when receiving and observing it -- and i get a lot of compliments and nice treatment. I've had meals paid for, coffee/tea/fluffy for the kid purchased, been upgraded to first class on flights, etc etc etc.

    or it could be because I was pretty.

    But I suspect it was because I was. . . you know. . . nice.

    3. Expressing Self-Opinion vs Narcissism

    I don't know if this woman is vain or narcissistic. Maybe she is. I think she has a high opinion of her looks, though I assume she's pinning a lot of things on her looks that may not be because of her looks (as above). There is nothing wrong with stating "I feel pretty" or "I think I'm prettier than she is." (I actually do think that about myself. I personally found her quite plain.). But, i think it can come off as egotistical if the writing is -- as this article is -- "oh, it is SO HARD being this pretty!"

    That just is whining and being vain and thats. . . really annoying.

    I don't consider my looks to be any sort of burden, nor my intelligence, nor my manners or friendliness. I certainly don't consider it a burden when others buy my meal or coffee or fluffy for my DS.

    And if something negative happens to me, I don't assume it is because of my "looks." I assume it must be something else -- either something that I did or something within them about which I have no knowledge and over which I hve no control. And most times, it's a combination of both.

    I don't know. I think this article is weird.

    I didn't read the comments.

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