Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 28

Thread: Final words from my friend with brain cancer...

Hybrid View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    3,750

    Final words from my friend with brain cancer...

    Last journal entry
    I am now 19 months out from my initial diagnosis of brain tumor (GBM). Ole BT has now clearly worked into my head. The metaphor I have is that he is at a control panel with valves controlling specific parts of my body, my left motor control, my eyesight, my fine motor dexterity, balance, leg strength, energy, speech and emotions. It feels like BT is starting to slowly, slowly shut down the valves of each function. He plays an evil game of loosening one up for a while, giving me a short reprieve before shutting it down again. I do not know which is the last valve he will turn down. I am diving into my inner spiritual world these days being guided by my wind spirit that has blown me so sweetly on my path of life until a harsh gust slammed BT into my body. My earth spirit is pulsating through my body comforting me as I deal with winds of change. I have never experienced such deep sadness. So deep and never ending.....a never ending crevasse of sadness. I love this world so much and I do not want to give it up. Tears welled up and overflowed this last week from the depths of this sadness. Unending tears. A question arises within me as a visual person. I wonder where all of those many beautiful images of the world that I carry with me will go? Do I take them with me or are they released into the world somehow?
    So as my body shuts down it becomes my journey to walk alone.....to leave peacefully a life that I love, people I love, a world that I love.... I feel complete. I know I gave love to this world.


    These words from an Irish tune express my thoughts now:

    Oh all the money that e'er I spent
    I spent it in good company
    And all the harm that e'er I've done
    Alas, it was to none but me And all the harm that e'er I've done
    Alas, it was to none but me
    And all I've done for want of wit
    To memory now I can't recall
    So fill to me the parting glass
    Good night and joy be with you all

    Oh all the comrades that e'er I've had
    Are sorry for my going away
    And all the sweethearts that e'er I've had
    Would wish me one more day to stay
    But since it falls unto my lot
    That I should rise and you should not
    I'll gently rise and I'll softly call
    Good night and joy be with you all
    Good night and joy be with you all


    My vision of passing from life to death is one of my riding on the back of a grizzly bear softly padding toward the gossamer veil that separates life and death. And when we get to the veil the grizz will gently set me down on the other side. I do not know what will be there but I know it will be peaceful and I will be OK.....more than OK....what will I be? Content? As the grizz sets me down I will feel all of your love and support behind me. Thank you for that. The grizz will quietly leave me and find another to help with their transition. My wind and earth spirit will follow me through to the other side.


    You can honor me and celebrate my life by saying “yes” to whatever comes your way. Love those around you. Speak from your heart. Say what you really think, honor yourself and Love, Love, Love. Love is all there is Love is all there is.


  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    313
    Thank you for sharing this with us...I am moved beyond words!

  3. #3
    Moderator Float On's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    By a lake in MO
    Posts
    4,665
    Beautiful
    Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.

  4. #4
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    15,489
    Very powerful.

  5. #5
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    2,718
    Wow. Just....wow. Thanks for sharing.

  6. #6
    Senior Member lhamo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    1,625
    Wow. I hope if I ever have to confront something like that I can do it with the same amount of grace. Hugs to you and your friend, and all who love her, during this difficult time of transition, redfox.

    lhamo
    "Seek out habits that help you overcome fear or inertia. Destroy those that do the opposite." Seth Godin

  7. #7
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    14,636
    Thank you.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  8. #8
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    8,169
    Beautifully said so thank you.

  9. #9
    Senior Member leslieann's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Atlantic Canada
    Posts
    980
    Thank you for sharing this blessing with me. thank you.

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    2,678
    Big hugs to you, redfox. Your friend's beauty and grace will find its way to the "place where light is gathered" and we will all continue to share it forever.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •