I count reading Codependent No More as one of the turning points in my own mental health. In fact, I'm unsure whether I would've gotten to this point had I not been exposed to that thinking; being unaware of my own programming, I was rapidly getting to where my life was untenable. Wonderful suggestion.

If the household involved substance abuse of any kind when the 24/21 kids were growing up, or even if it didn't, they might benefit hugely from Adult Children of Alcoholics. There are frighteningly common patterns among those who (like myself) grew up in these situations, and lots of confusion around control and caregiving. I used to mod one of the forums here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/#friends-family