I know this is about being gay but I always admire the feedback from this forum and figure I'll get good feedback on this topic as well.
When I came out, it was like a check list. I met with people I knew and told them each individually. Some, I wrote letters too. I was nervous as hell and some were high risk (loose job?) but most were positive and one of my coworkers told me that the minute I told her I was gay, a weight came off my shoulders and she said I looked so much unburdoned and happy.
Well, years later, it appears that I have went back in to the closet, not be choice but I guess by default. Things always come up "do you have a girlfriend?" and I simply just said "no" instead of extending the sentence to include that I am gay.
Point is, I don't think I should "have to" come out. I mean, why should aquantances need a sentence that says "no, i do not have a girlfriend, I am gay."
I guess if I had a boyfriend or a husband it would be easier to say, "no, i am dating a guy named Brock." hehehehehe.
I do not think I would EVER want to get married but even if I had a Master maybe, I wouldn't say, no, but i am currently a boy to a Master named Robert.
I don't know if Master / boy relationship is work able for me either.
Point is, I am really not a straight gay guy. I don't want to get married or have kids. Maybe I want an open relationship, maybe I want no relationship. Maybe I don't ever want any of it defined either, not to myself, much less the general public.
So, I was on the bus with a guy I worked with like 5 years ago. He kept asking me about girls. I didn't feel comfortable, on a city bus, saying I was gay and not knowing his reaction. It really didn't matter anyway.
But, at the same time, I don't like being assumed to be this way or that way and fear that I am reverting back in to the closet maybe and thus not advancing more rights. If every gay person came out, then everyone would know a gay person and maybe give out rights.
I am not sure.
Anyways, if you are gay, how do you handle outing yourself?
If you are straight, how do you think a gay person should tell you?
I know it is complex.