In this economic downturn we have a family member who recently asked us for money. Several years ago when MIL was widowed we helped her with her finances and she saw some of our financial papers. Since then she has several times said things like "we'll most people aren't rich like you" when in fact we are far from rich, just very frugal and we go without a lot. Well I think she shared this with the family member but she denied it when I politely asked. They seem to think we are "loaded."
The DH lost his high paying job and has a series of low paying ones he can't seem to keep. At one point I would have thought it was him but today you never know- really good people are let go at a moments notice today. They still drive nicer bigger cars than us and when the money was rolling in they lived quite the high lifestyle. Recently I bought over a chicken pot pie full of fresh vegetables in homemade pie crust (super yummy) but she said he wouldn't eat stuff mixed together. he liked things like meat and potatoes, yet there were take out pizza boxes in the kitchen. She said they were working so hard they "deserved" it. I e-mailed her my pizza crust recipe when I got home but she has yet to try it. They are "too busy". They have a garage full of stuff they could sell, but haven't gotten around to it. I even offered to come over and help them set up a garage sale and list some bigger items on craigslist but they might need it in the future and don't want to sell anything. It seems like everything we suggest is rejected. I want to help but they don't want help but are ready to ask for handouts.
we have continued to be kind but I know they are very annoyed that we aren't willing to give them money and I have no problems saying no to them and setting limits. She made a rude comment to me recently about how selfish some people were in front of other family members and I asked her if she meant us? I explained I didn't cause him to lose his job and we will help where we can, we just don't have enough to support anyone but ourselves. The other family members around the they seemed relieved that I said something and of course she backtracked and said she didn't mean that. They someday will learn to make choices and stop saying poor me but until then I am not willing to subsidize their lifestyle.
So how do you handle such instances? Anything else I can do? My biggest fear is they do get some money out of MIL and I can see her eventually going from a comfortable lifestyle to one that is in financial jeopardy.
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Originally Posted by Iris lily
