In 2012, I suspect adding video evidence, spoken by the patient, to the legal documents would also be useful.Originally Posted by flowerseverywhere
In 2012, I suspect adding video evidence, spoken by the patient, to the legal documents would also be useful.
Sorry to disappoint you Iris L but I wasn't actually 'rising' to what you said. I was speaking to the OP's wondering if this was a political discussion or not. I feel it isn't.
But, thanks for stepping up and trying to get a rise out of someone. I guess we can't have a discussion in this forum without someone trying to make it political. Ha Ha.
My Dad took care of every detail of things that would follow his death very shortly after a Parkinson's and dementia diagnosis. Having all the arrangements made was a God send to my Mom when he died, a final act of love really. The sad part, in a bizarre way, was that Dad was never hooked to anything with a plug to pull. Like so many others it was a slow slide out of life. Had the level of care been lower he would have certainly died much sooner, but that likely would have coincided with the loss of his quality of life which is what he would have preferred. DW and I have clear understandings and written instructions regarding our own ends, but when there is no clear line that gets crossed it is extremely difficult for everyone involved.
When my father had a stroke (in his late eighties), one of his doctors approached me and my partner about discontinuing his fluid drip--apparently to speed up his death. (Note my partner had zip legal standing, even if Father did consider him the son he never had.) I said "Why don't you ask him?" Father declined a feeding tube but opted for fluids until he was able to move to a facility that wasn't interested in exercising its GOMER option. He lived for several more years. But we could have snuffed him just like that, with the help of Dr. First Do No Harm.
On the other hand, my mother wanted to go but it took us weeks to get hospice assigned--over objections particularly from one obnoxious doctor who acted like we were trying to do her in for our own devious ends. I can't think back on my parents' medical nightmares without anguish to this day. But I'd love to meet Dr. Flanagan or whatever the hell his name was again for one last discussion.
I hope I die in my sleep.
lmerullo,
i'm sorry for your recent loss.
Because my sister lives closer to my parents (and they are in a relationship triangle anyway), I've asked my sister to take on this discussion. DH will do so with his parents, but if I'm around, they reject even discussing it. They are in a codependent triangle with my SIL, and more likely to discuss such things with her, which is fine.
For my own part, DH and I both have living wills with very clear descriptions, and power to make the ultimate decision going to a friend of mine -- a lawyer -- who is more distant than DH would be. I know that seems odd, but there it is. She's a paramedic as well (before becoming a lawyer) which I think gives her the unique position to make a decision based on best evidence and practices, as well as the intention and spirit of the living will.
Have to add another set of numbers from the article:
"There are now more than 5 million demented Americans. By 2050, upward of 15 million of us will have lost our minds. ..Dementia care in 2012 = $200 billion. In 2050, it will be $1 Trillion."
This is why our country seriously has to consider the moral, ethical, and yes financial cost of heart surgery on an 84 year old who already has dementia, as the author's mother did. Bottom line: can we allow families to direct doctors to "do everything" and who then hand the medical bills to the taxpayers?
Gosh no, but if you've read my posts you know that I am in favor of "death panels" if the chaotic mess popularly known as Obamacare comes to pass.
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