So many of my friends (fifty-somethings) are struggling with how to care for their aged parents, finding that neither they nor their parents have the resources to provide the mounting medical and caregiving costs--to say nothing of the emotional trauma involved. The logistics alone can be daunting, with parents stuck in unsaleable houses in suburbs or rural areas where you need a car to get around. I could go on and on.
It's making me very reluctantly try to face the fact that I ought to think about my own old age, if I'm UN-lucky enough to have one. I've had DNR and AND in place for years, but from what I read in articles like New York Magazine's horrifying article "I Love My Mother and I Wish She Were Dead...and I Suspect She Does Too" (Google it, you'll find it)--from what I read in this and from what my friends say, it sounds like DNR and AND do NOT address the issue of long term frailty.
I've thought a lot about Long Term Care Insurance and even gotten as far as doing some research on it, but because of my health history it's unlikely I could buy it, or if I could it would come with so many restrictions and such a high cost that it wouldn't be worth it---not to mention, well, I WILL mention it: actually collecting on these LTC policies is not easy. You have to have a relative who has the time and tenacity to spend many hours docmenting and phoning.
I'm sorry this is such a downer of a post. I'm hoping to hear some feedback, comments, and thoughts on this issue.
The simple answer, which I hear a lot is "Oh, I'll just pick my own exit strategy." -- Again, easier said than done.
Thanks for giving me a place to talk about this--I hope some of you will respond.