What is your old age plan?

[cjones]

So many of my friends (fifty-somethings) are struggling with how to care for their aged parents, finding that neither they nor their parents have the resources to provide the mounting medical and caregiving costs--to say nothing of the emotional trauma involved. The logistics alone can be daunting, with parents stuck in unsaleable houses in suburbs or rural areas where you need a car to get around. I could go on and on.

It's making me very reluctantly try to face the fact that I ought to think about my own old age, if I'm UN-lucky enough to have one. I've had DNR and AND in place for years, but from what I read in articles like New York Magazine's horrifying article "I Love My Mother and I Wish She Were Dead...and I Suspect She Does Too" (Google it, you'll find it)--from what I read in this and from what my friends say, it sounds like DNR and AND do NOT address the issue of long term frailty.

I've thought a lot about Long Term Care Insurance and even gotten as far as doing some research on it, but because of my health history it's unlikely I could buy it, or if I could it would come with so many restrictions and such a high cost that it wouldn't be worth it---not to mention, well, I WILL mention it: actually collecting on these LTC policies is not easy. You have to have a relative who has the time and tenacity to spend many hours docmenting and phoning.

I'm sorry this is such a downer of a post. I'm hoping to hear some feedback, comments, and thoughts on this issue.

The simple answer, which I hear a lot is "Oh, I'll just pick my own exit strategy." -- Again, easier said than done.

Thanks for giving me a place to talk about this--I hope some of you will respond.

[ctg492]

I have been searching for LTC insurance since Feburary, no luck. There was a good report on NPR two weeks ago that left me even more {{{confused}}}. This also lead me to understand why I am not getting responses back from companies who are suppose to offer it. Many have dropped out of the game, it is not profitable. It is not a cookie cutter insurance like auto or home can be. I really am not sure what to do.
My folks have had it for almost 20 years now. Mom's company has changed hands a few times. Her rates just went up 45%. NPR report mentioned that few keep it to the end when it is needed, as rates go up and become unaffordable.
SO looking for suggestions also, here.

[Rosemary]

DH and I are in our 40s and watching our parents and other relatives age and make these choices. My grandparents (well, now just one of them) have been in assisted living for about 10 years. It makes me crazy to see what their life is like and how much they pay for it. Not a choice I would make. Seriously, I think part-time in-home care, even paid, would be more cost-effective and definitely more pleasant - but I haven't priced it.

My aunt recently asked me to review a quote for long-term care insurance that she had received. It was pricey - something like $2800/year (she is 65 and in excellent health with no serious risk factors), price can increase at will, no guarantees. She opted to go without and continue saving on her own. Instead she plans to continue focusing on health and wellness. She and my parents have moved in recent year and selected houses that had all necessities on the entry floor, with no steps to get in/out of the house. However, they did not consider the driving issue and would absolutely need cars or someone to drive them.

I expect that with the coming explosion of the retirement age group there will be more services available (for hire) such as couriers, errand runners, drivers for medical appointments, etc.

[cjones]

No question that paying privately for part time help and staying in your own home is going to be cheaper that so called "assisted" care, where they charge you for every single service AND charge you a lot of money as a base cost every month. You still need someone to evaluate and monitor the caregiver and to coordinate the delivery services, transportation, etc. If your mind is working at good capacity you can manage all this yourself, perhaps---but even if you are in good menatl health, a case of pneumonia can wipe out your ability to plan, monitor, and manage these caregivers---I had pneumonia recently myself and was too out of it to make anything happen. Fortunately, I have family right here now, but that may not continue, almost certainly will not continue for long.

[Yossarian]

Iceberg rides.

[leslieann]

Every time this topic comes up I see it as a whole whack of business opportunities. Older people need younger people to help them out. And middle aged children need younger people to help manage care for the older people and basically keep watch, especially if there is geographic (or emotional) distance. So younger people who are self motivated and enjoy the company of older folks could pretty readily provide a service that would be well compensated. Sort of like a case manager for the older person...anyway, it isn't for me. And I am not "younger" by anyone's estimation.

I like the iceberg approach but would chicken out when the time came. Also, if you have read "Still Alice" you know that it doesn't work to create an exit plan from diseases such as Alzheimer's. That's where in home care no longer is viable.

We don't have a plan for aging. We talk about it but we just don't really dig into it at all. Avoidance, I guess.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Also, if you have read "Still Alice" you know that it doesn't work to create an exit plan from diseases such as Alzheimer's. That's where in home care no longer is viable

Haven't read the book, but my dad used to pay for long term care insurance, then he got Alzheimers and I'm sure forgot to pay the premiums! So much for THAT strategy!!! How's that for bitter catch 22. My mom takes on the burden of caretaking him and I'm sure will destroy herself in the process.

I've been told I should buy long term care insurance while I'm still young, but if the premiums can go up at will anyway, does it even matter if I start when I'm young, if it will just be unaffordable due to premium increases in a few decades anyway? I mean I'm not really locking in a rate, right?

I think the taking care of your health strategy is really great policy if you are serious enough (Jack LaLanne ). Most people simply don't take care of themselves and it increases the burden on everyone else. It's by far the cheapest and one of the best strategies. Serious means really healthy eating, weight bearing exercise to maintain bones, and serious stress reduction. But it won't guarantee you don't get Alzheimers (lessen the chances though but perhaps you have every single Alzheimers gene - personally I suspect so), another bad disease, or that your last year or so you aren't completely falling apart (most people are by then regardless).

[razz]

Thinking about living in stages when one plans is key, I believe. Mobility allows for more options. We have a one floor house plan and hope to be independent and driving for some years yet.
Our investments and savings will pay for LTC for a considerable period of time since our federal government old age plan contributes to the basic level of care.

In between those two options comes the challenge. This is where most families run into problems due to lack of decision making proactively.

I hope that we will move into an apartment when we are no longer able to maintain a garden and the grounds. Where will we find that apartment though? In our familiar neighbourhood with familar health providers but limited transit or near our DD's with unknown health providers and good transit?

[Stella]

I don't have a plan of my own at this point, but we are living in a multigenerational household in part because it provides my Dad with a decent plan. He will have very minimal retirement expenses, mostly just his car insurance, iPhone and incidentals. The trade off here is that we will pay the bills (utilities, phone, taxes, etc.) and we get the leg up of being mortgage free from a very young age. We all moved in together a couple of years ago when I was 31 and DH was 27. Dad's social security and pensions adds up to about 45K a year and he will keep his part-time job as sacristen of his church, so his nest egg savings will mostly remain untouched if it is needed for medical expenses. Dad will also have seven people (DH, me and our 5 children) immediately available for help. I am a SAHM so I am pretty much always available.

[artist]

We've done a lot of planning in the purchase of our home. Yes, it's more than we need and the mortage takes too much of our income, but in the end we have a lot of security that could keep us in our home much longer. To start with we live in a single level home, so there is no need to do stairs. There is 300 sq ft of finished and heated basement with kitchenette that can serve as private living quarters for a caregiver (they would just need to share the bathroom on the main floor).

We are on a dead end street which opens onto a rail trail which leads downtown and gives us access to the community theater, library, doctors, dentist, hospital, restarants, church, lots of small business shopping, pharmacy and a major supermarket . This is managed by the city and cleared of snow so you can walk or bike it all year round. Our city also put in new bus stops and one of them is just one street over from us. So I walk to the end of my road, over one street and there is the bus stop. This will take me just about anywhere I need to go. There used to be a small family owned market off the rail trail just 1/8th of a mile from my house (walkable) but the big chains put them out of business.

Right now dh and I (45 and 43 respectively) are doing all we can to get healthy. We are exercising more and joined our local gym (which we can bike to on a state park trail system that covers 325 acres. The trail head is 1/8th of a mile from my house and the bike ride to the gym is two miles each way.) We just purchased good bikes to get around town with and we hope to greatly improve our health now, so that later we can remain in our home longer. In the event that we find the house too much to handle, dh and I have already discussed moving to a small apartment right downtown, where we can access everything by bus if need be.

One major plus is that we have a good sized college with a strong nursing program and plenty of upper classmen and grad students who would love to save on room and board in exchange for doing some assisted living type care. This is where our finished basement comes in handy. We are on the bus line and the college is right off of Main street, so it's really easy to access the college from our home. Three parking spaces for cars means off street parking for the student as well (major plus in the city).
Big time WIN-WIN for everyone.