Just being a good person and citizen is serving your community, in my opinion. Maybe there will be a time in the future when you can do things, maybe it's just time for a break right now?
Just being a good person and citizen is serving your community, in my opinion. Maybe there will be a time in the future when you can do things, maybe it's just time for a break right now?
Fidge - such a good topic. I understand your gnawing feeling to contribute more. However, I agree that there are times in our lives that we must just Be.
Over my years, I've donated so many hours of my time. Community volunteering, church volunteering, volunteering for fellow military families in various capacities. This is a time in my life where aside from reading a book to a classroom now and then or sending in a plate of cookies to church, I'm content with just Being. That's all I can give, between my health, husband's schedule, and two children.
I just have to say that simplicity applies to ALL aspects of life, including volunteerism.
..and I realized several years ago, when signing up for a role with our new command's Family Support Group, that some organizations just do not apply that 'work smarter not harder' philosphy. I think sometimes we become involved in projects where the chief organizers just A) have this unrealistic ideal or B) intregal members just want to fill up their time, creating complex protocols that lead to so many hours that no one can possibly maintain and still be a cheerful giver.
That has been my issue with volunteering, so if you really feel this pull.. be selective in what you realistically can contribute. Take careful consideration of how the group is organized and whether they seem to be working efficiently. If they begin describing enthusiastically a ridiculous number of steps to get one project accomplished, yet it's something you really want to participate with, be blunt in what you can do - and nothing more.
Let me give you an example:
My husband's work participates in fundraising. Recently, the group was addressing everyone committing essentially their only off Sunday each month to do a project fundraiser. This is absolutely ridiculous. The guys are training to deploy, off time should be a priority. So, my husband and another person crunched numbers. They realized they could earn and meet their goal doing a different fundraiser on designated work days or night shift folks coming in an hour before their shift, during lunch breaks (and they can still grab a sandwich during break) with people rotating and make the same goal. That's being efficient. That's giving people the opportunity to participate without it becoming a burden. There was also the factor that the goal in mind for the project that they were doing, was completely unrealistic. And that was because a chief organizer already had it in their head what the result would be.
I have a relative that is a 'fill up her time' person. She becomes involved in these volunteer projects that keeps her up until midnight or later. She has overlaps on her calendar, and she's exhausted. You can be passionate about a cause and give back without it sapping the life out of you. When I ask her about her volunteer work, she talks in circles. That's because they all are not streamlined and have so many unnecessary steps.
Volunteering should fill you up, enhance your life, not sap you of it.
Let us know what you decide. I hope that you can find balance with this or find peace with just Being.
Reduce the complexities of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves. - Edwin Way Teale
There is a huge array of volunteer opportunities available - some take a fair amount of time, some can consume your life, and some take minimal time. But don't volunteer because you feel guilty -- volunteer because you WANT to. If something seems like too much of a commitment, talk to the other volunteers about how you can limit your time. Tell them how much time you have - for instance, for the Girl Scouts, how many hours per week or month can you give?
In my experience it's much better to state your time limits up front, because it is really annoying when a volunteer job goes beyond one's time expectations or when the people in charge of the volunteer assignments continue to ask for or expect more and more.
Thanks to all of you. I didn't realize how many people had this feeling, and it's comforting to know I'm not the only one.
Yes, Iris Lily, I've puzzled over the idea that people should want to be in x group, even if no one really does. I've had that be the case with several teaching orgs. And then one, I was "personally invited" to be the state coordinator. Well, EVERYONE who pays to be in the group (which is a teeny 20 people) should have been invited to seek the position. I said no, and now the woman is stuck doing the state level and the regional level. I suggested she put it out there but she realllllly wants to hand pick the person. I had a lot of interest in that group over the years and was squashed down and kept in line, so to speak, and now I don't wanna do it.
I also have to face the fact that perhaps some of the volunteering I mentioned might deep down be not because of time or anything like it, but that I just don't want to do that kind of volunteering right now. Need to be honest with myself when seeking these kinds of opportunities.
It's interesting, what gets me most fired up is networking people. Like, if a teacher needs art materials, putting her in touch with other art teachers or a cool art store I know. I should bear that in mind in the future.
And realize that controlling people create their own issues in groups. I have disassociated myself from on charity group that I worked with for years due to the personality conflicts and dramatic personality changes of the very controlling member. A friend and I just went out and tested another group and joined when we found it welcoming and that it met our needs.
My issue is fundraising. Too many times I have found myself just being used soley to get money and it was not the focus of my volunteer interest. Also a couple of groups have pressed me to become some kind of leader without my being comfortable with knowing members or group dynamics/history. I spent over 30 years at work staying away from any form of management and don't want to be pressed to do it in volunteer groups. So with this history, I am very careful to choose those activities that meet my needs and that I feel I can comfortably support.
There were times, like when husband was working full time, going to university full time and I was working full time, that I had no hours in the week to devote to any other activities. We even got rid of the TV because we needed to devote our time to the family.
I know what you mean, I feel the same way at times....then I volunteer to lead an AA event and end up cursing myself out because of all the silly personality conflicts and such!
Enjoy your time right now, work on your home, your job....if you still feel this way in 3 months, then do something about it!
I was actually blogging about that today, how I will not litter my free time with multiple volunteer gigs, boards, committees, blah blah blah.
I had to choose one thing -- just one -- to keep on volunteering for, just because I want to stay involved but I'm needing more open space in my life.
And today, a big joy hit, as that one volunteer gig paid off, as the grant application we all slaved over hit paydirt, and we were awarded a huge local grant to develop our community garden here. We went from zero in our coffers to complete garden funding for 2013, just like that. I'm stunned.
So I'll stay with that one, because I enjoy it, because I can choose not to be involved in every single activity, but also because the way it does my heart good to help with what I know how to do tips the scales for me. It's a part of my inner landscape, that needing to be connected to something that matters (besides my work).
I also wouldn't feel guilty about taking some time off EVERYTHING, though, Fidgie. Heck, you've done so much good in your life!!! When you've recovered and feel like doing something, maybe a few hours one day a month would be a good start?
My two cents.
(1) Keep with the community band. After ten years as stage manager, I missed a meeting and was elected president of my community band. I hope I will be of some use in that position. Not sure just yet.
(2) Do what you think will be useful and you won't terribly mind doing.
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