A Crisis of Fellowship?

[creaker]

At a single organization level, there will always be lean years or not. It also has a lot to do with individual dynamics - the one or two people with that ability to engage people, get them motivated, or just make it fun can change a group so much.

I do think the concept of giving (as in giving for the sake of giving) has gotten a bit tarnished, though. Another issue especially for the type of activity you describe, is people, I think, are much less able to successfully socially interact with strangers, people outside their immediate circle.

[bUU]

In future I would not worry two seconds about inviting a non-vegetarian to your home for the holiday.

I assure you, I was not. It was the folks who coordinate these connections that were concerned.

If I had been that woman and I had preferred to spend the holidays with someone, I would have been very disappointed not to have been asked because the people who organized it thought that a vegetarian family was a "last resort" and not preferable to me spending the day alone. It's quite ludicrous that someone would imply something like that. And it's probably a result that the organizer didn't really think about the implications of the decision they were making.

Yes, I agree, though I prefer to think of it just as a bit of miscommunication.

[bUU]

Agreeing with what everyone else has said. There's also volunteer burnout. I've noticed that volunteer coordinators tend to call on the same group of volunteers over and over and over. It's not hard to understand why--there's a tested pool of volunteers they know and trust and who usually say "yes." Saves the coordinator tons of time and energy to make 12 phone calls and get 10 volunteers, than to call 25 new people and maybe get 6 or 7 people. But it does two things--the old volunteers get burned out and new people, who'd like to volunteer and take part in things never get the chance.

Just to provide case in point... we're resting from a busy morning at church. My spouse and I served as ushers for the first service, and then I assisted the intern minister leading the second service, while my spouse helped coordinate the coffee hour. We didn't mind, but sometimes we do find ourselves drawn into simply too many volunteer situations.

Is this a one-time shortage of volunteers, or are people "voting with their feet" and telling the organizers that this activity no longer meets their needs?

I think neither: I fear there's just a bit too much "someone else will handle it" going on.

[bunnys]

Yes, I agree, though I prefer to think of it just as a bit of miscommunication.

Maybe it was, Bicker. It's hard to imagine they thought there was anything wrong with assigning the woman to veggies. Vegetarians are so much more common now than they used to be even a decade ago.

[Bootsie]

I'm very interested in the topics of volunteering and nurturing a sense of community in groups, whether it's at church, or in a family, or with a charity or some other group. I agree with everything that has been stated above, and I'll eagerly read what others have to say in addition.

I've been a volunteer with various groups over the years, from childhood though adulthood, and in 2012 my involvement with volunteer jobs has increased a lot. Well, that's not really true because my time commitment is about the same, but what has increased is my FULFILLMENT as a volunteer.

I absolutely love one volunteer job in particular, at a food pantry, and every time I work at the job, I come home believing that *I* gained more from the experience than the people I'm there to help.

Feeding the poor comes with many heartbreaking challenges and I'm pushed beyond my comfort level, but I see *myself* growing and changing. Of the three leaders of the charity, two are older people, and one is a young adult. I see them as role models and I watch how they run the program. I see that they consider not only the needs of the hungry people we serve, but also the needs of the volunteers. They deliberately and quietly nurture a sense of community, not assume it.

I now see the food pantry as a service not only to the poor, but to the volunteers who are hungry for community and hungry for doing work that matters. While we are doing serious work, we also have a good time together and have lots of laughs. Sometimes we share a few tears together. I show up to volunteer not only because the hungry people need the food but because I want to spend time with all the group. Fostering an eagerness and a commitment in volunteers takes a generous and mature (not necessary mature in years but mature in attitude) leader.

I can't put my finger on what makes a successful fellowship at church. My church congregation has a strong desire to working together as a faith community, while at the same time we have little time in our personal schedules to make it happen. This is really a key element in Simple Living: Are we spending our time, emotions, energy nurturing what is important to us as individuals and to us as a group?

As Simple Living people who want to nurture fellowship and community, perhaps we accept the responsibilities to lead, support, and set the example. I've definitely noticed that people really are too pressured in their lives to be able to give anything more to community spirit. One way to fight that trend is to make sure *I* am not too busy and pressured.

Thank you for this conversation. These topics are definitely on my mind lately.

[Bootsie]

Just to provide case in point... we're resting from a busy morning at church. My spouse and I served as ushers for the first service, and then I assisted the intern minister leading the second service, while my spouse helped coordinate the coffee hour. We didn't mind, but sometimes we do find ourselves drawn into simply too many volunteer situations..

We were very short on volunteers at our church service this morning. I noticed one member, who was volunteering as Assistant Minister, quietly go around and ask individuals to pitch in. He made it so easy for them to volunteer by explaining exactly what needed to be done in an easy-going way. I was so impressed with how he handled the lack of volunteers and I made a mental note to follow his lead if needed in the future. (And, yes, I had a volunteer job myself today.)

[fidgiegirl]

Bootsie, I am also hungry for exactly what you describe - a place where I can serve others and have a sense of fulfillment in the process. So happy that you have found it. I hope you will share more stories moving forward . . .

[sweetana3]

My husband had a hard time getting used to retirement. He found Habitat for Humanity in our area had a great group of retirees called the Tiger Team. He worked hard and got accepted mostly because he was humble and just willing to help and learn. Then he found a group called SAWS, Servants at Work, which is a church based group of guys who build wheelchair ramps for those in need. Again he was humble and worked quietly at what was needed. He is now considered a great helper and a self starter. He has learned so much about building and those who need the help.

One woman had not been out of her house for years. Another had hurt herself trying to get out on a poorly built ramp.

He loves the work and mostly the people he works with.

[bunnys]

Bootsie, I am also hungry for exactly what you describe - a place where I can serve others and have a sense of fulfillment in the process. So happy that you have found it. I hope you will share more stories moving forward . . .

Fidgie: You are doing that with your teaching. You are a public SERVANT. You've made a career of serving. Don't forget it.

[fidgiegirl]

bunnys, sadly, sometimes I do. I don't work directly with kids anymore, and I miss it some days . . . but then I have to remind myself that the sometimes seemingly overwhelming red tape, negotiating, and politicking is to open doors for many MORE kids than I could have impacted directly, so they can use learning the tools they are engaged with and will use in their futures . . .