Plans for the second half of our lives...

[bke]

Dh and I moved to rural Michigan with our ds over 12 years ago with the goals of owning a restaurant and allowing ds to grow up and attend school is a quiet, safe enviroment. We came here to embrace and be embraced by small town America.

Ds has 4 1/2 more years of school. The restaurant will be paid off within the next two years. Life has been very sucessful in these two areas. We live frugally, saving some money and have a bit of security to show for it.

We decided in 2011 that we want to sell the restaurant in the next few years-hopefully around the same time ds graduates. We thought we would find a house somewhere is this general area and basically retire. FI3 by the age of 50. We talk alot about this, making this plan and that plan, never quite feeling confident in the future. Will we have enough money, will ds stay close to us or have to/want to move to a better area for work? Will we feel too isolated or be happy with the very quiet lifestyle we're about to embrace?

We know that even after all these years we just don't fit in. We aren't country people. We don't hunt, fish, snowmobile, etc. Our idea of a good time is heading to the city. We prefer hotels over tents any day of the week.

A couple of weeks ago dh and I realized that all the plans we had made and all the dreams we had shared for our lives together ended with ds graduating from high school. We've never really planned a future beyond that. Moneywise we dreamed of FI. We've worked our tails off 60-70 hours a week for the last 11 years to obtain this goal. We've settled on material posessions, and limited life experiences to reach these few goals. This Christmas was the first time we've had an entire week off as a family in over a decade.

Ok, you get the point. We've decided that we want to move back to the city. Back to the suburbs of Chicago which is where we were before ds entered our lives. It means a higher cost of living. We'll probably have to work at least part time for an additional 10 years of our lives. For us it means a giant improvement in the quaility of life once we get there. No more driving 40 miles to a decent grocery store, better doctors, more choices in entertainment, better quality goods, etc.

A more well-rounded, liberal, diverse enviroment.

Has anyone else decided to switch horses in the middle of the stream? Most people I know decided to move to the country, slowing down and decreasing their expenses as they age. I'd be interested in hearing from anyone who has decided to dive back into the hustle and bustle of city life.

It feels good to look forward to the future again. The thought of this being my entire life was very disappointing to say the least.

[mtnlaurel]

bke, I am looking forward to reading this thread progress...
I don't have direct experience to offer, but rather observation.
To me this whole lifestyle of simplicity is about getting honest with yourself and living accordingly to what fits ​for you.

I think you are going to find a ton of great retirement options in urban areas.... Even my po-dunk little hometown in the Southeast is experiencing an Urban Renaissance.
Our downtown used to have tumbleweeds blowing through starting at 5pm sharp - now there are cute little businesses that have somehow hung on in this hell-hole of an economy and condos with full-time residents to support them.
All walking distance to libraries, YMCA, churches, events, even a movie theater now downtown - AMAZING.

It just makes sense... why junk up outer green areas with more development when there are already perfectly fine living spaces in town that just need a little life blown into them.

[ctg492]

Waving and smiling at you. Yes we have. I loved your story also.
Our's story involved Northern Mid MI. We had a few cottages there over the couse of 17 years, we spent almost every week end up there. Great place to visit. The dream was to move there. Long and Short of it we did after an entire year of planning, preparing the home for frugal living, Corn Burner for heat, 8N to plow out and grate road with, new well......list goes on. At 45 we sold everything and moved to paridise. Learning experince of a life time, no regrets as anything we do in life we hope to learn from. Our kids were 19 and 21 I think and lived down state, the rest of our family lived 3 1/2 hours away. Needless to say that is too far for any of them to drive and we were only budgeting X amount of trips per year. The Snow is deep and living with it is not the same as visiting when you are down a one lane dirt path. You know the story.
First month in, I thought OMG what did we do?? Hubby was "living the dream". Second month in I was settled in and learning about life there, I actually began to see positive but it was lonely. His second month his words I will never forget "I am rotting here". Third month he was back into life on a jet to NYC then to Turkey. We bought a home back down state that month and closed up the northern home. Two years later we sold it and now are waiting on selling the extra property we still have there.
This is true the home we dreamed to buy and reside fulltime in, many have done the same thing in that home. The Chalet on the River. 1979 the people built it, retired and he passed on with in a few years, the lady packed up and left. 4 owners later we tried it. We sold to a man who had dreamed his entire life of retiring to a place on the river in northern MI. He had never been there even. Lasted less then a year there (the home is still vacant and waiting to sell) The neighbors knew it was over for him when he asked " where is the nearest sushi bar". My neighbor up there told me she knew we would never make it there. The other neighbor told me " you have to fish and hunt to live here". That is so true.

Bottom line many can be away from family and friends and live the simple life no doubt. I prefer to live simple and have family and friends near and all the creature comforts with in 10 miles of me.

[sweetana3]

How about choosing Indianapolis. I would think it would be a good blend between the two styles of living. Even living downtown we have our own little neighborhood with single familly homes, access to all we could need, walking to what we need and an abundance of anything we could shop for within a short drive. I find Chicago a little too fast paced and "materialistic" for us.

Plus we have a great new airport with easy access for exits from town.

[pinkytoe]

We need to make a decision soon too about where to spend our last few decades since we can no longer afford the property taxes here. I don't like living in Texas because of the weather (too hot) but everything else is hunky dory. As long as I have a little patch of yard I can garden on, I am content but it is a constant challenge to grow things here due to drought and heat. I am a foodie and the thought of having only Walmart to buy my groceries at is scary. We could never live out in the sticks that much I know. We have two plans - move to a smaller town just outside of Austin or move back to Colorado where I have always (thought) I wanted to be. My kin are there and I miss the mountains terribly; neither of these is a valid reason to move though. I have enjoyed reading the retirement forum on www.city-data to see what others have done - what has worked and what hasn't. This will be our year to decide...I really want to stop thinking about it and get on with making our last home.

[awakenedsoul]

I feel fortunate to have the country lifestyle, but be able to bike three miles and be in the city. We also have mild winters. I think if you are isolated and bored, it gets very depressing. I can also bike to the train station and go anywhere: museums, theaters, beaches, etc...I don't take advantage of these options often, but it's nice to know that they are there. I'm glad you were able to sell your house. Yours is a good story for others to read. I also appreciate having the bus a block from my doorstep, and a nice library 3 miles from home. Sometimes I forget how convenient my location is, and how lucky I am.

[bke]

"I am rotting here" That totally sums it up for me. I told my husband once that if this is where my life ends than I've wasted it.

I (We) have tried so hard to make this our life but we just don't fit in We're outsiders to this day. Some times we laugh at that and some times it's frustrating. We've programmed ourselves to make the most of what we have and we've accomplished so much but now its time to include more pleasure.

We're going to take a week off at Christmas every year from now on and go back to Palatine for a visit. We're going to continue to live a frugally as possible in order to have as much savings as possible for our move. Ds will graduate from his current school as promised and then we're all moving back to the Chicago area.

Going back to Palatine for the holidays really sealed the deal for us. We have settled way too much for too long. I miss the food, the shopping, the entertainment, oh to have choices and variety again!


CTG429: thank you so much for your post. You described my situation so well. Its so good to have someone understand where I'm coming from. Just out of curiousity, where in Mi. were you?

Pinkytoe: I hop that you can reach a decision soon. I know its not an easy thing to do. Its taken us years to get to this point.

Sweetana3: Palatine was our home at one time. Dh has two brothers there so we'll have family around. I lived in NJ before Chicago so I really want some action around me when I move-no doing things half-way this time.

[lhamo]

Not switching horses, but I hear you about finding a certain kind of lifestyle better suited to your long-term happiness. I am still struggling with the outcome of moving to Beijing. It is a great city in many ways, but not MY city somehow. Chengdu spoiled me, I think -- more challenging in some ways, but easier in many others. There are things I like about my life here -- I have a great job and love our apartment (aka the big lotto ticket in the sky -- the fact that it will likely power us to FI/early retirement certainly means there is a lot to like!) The kids are pretty happy in their school, though right now we are a bit stressed about needing to find an alternative for DS, who starts middle school next year). But I have found it hard to make friends here and we are pretty isolated socially. The longer I stay, the more I feel it isn't really a good fit for us. The ever-increasing value of the apartment and our nest egg makes the urge to do something different stronger every day. But DH and I both have a pretty bad case of "golden handcuffs" (him more than me, actually), so it is hard to make that leap. Also, the most likely place for us to relocate to would be the Seattle area, where my family is. Ideally I would like to buy a house within walking distance of my brother, as my kids cousins are very close in age and spend a lot of time with each other. But that is a fairly expensive neighborhood, so another reason to keep padding the nestegg. We could quit our jobs, sell our apartment and move to Iowa or someplace else where housing is cheap today, but that is not something we are really willing to seriously contemplate -- spent enough time being away from family and dealing with all the unhappiness that comes from that so I know we wouldn't make a choice of long-term residence simply for the cost-savings aspect of it. The only other possibilities are 1) quitting/selling and moving to the city where my in-laws live. I am willing to do this because they are getting older and facing health issues, and we could help out a lot, but neither DH nor I like that city and other than family there would be no reason to move there (I lovingly call it the armpit of China -- it really has few redeeming characteristics...) or 2) quitting/selling and doing something totally crazy like move to Hawaii. This would have the serious disadvantage of being far from both sides of the family still, but hey -- it's Hawaii! Also not a cheap plan, though, given costs of housing and other stuff. but man, as the wind howls outside at -20 it sure is tempting...

Anyway, I think it is great that you have realized that you need a change of plan. Onward and upward. that's my slogan for 2013.

[San Onofre Guy]

I harken back about 15 years ago when a coworker retired from Southern California and moved "back home". Back home to rural Georgia from where he moved when he went into the service in 1956. "Home" had a small downtown in 1956. 1996 the downtown was boarded up and shopping was at Walmart 45 minutes away. When one use accustomed to shopping at Nordstroms and eating at higher end restaraunts and being able to decide in the morning to see art at one of a half dozen wonderful worldclass museums within an hours drive, it can be a major adjustment to driving 45 minutes to shop at Walmart and eat at Denny's and drive two hours to Atlanta the big city. That coworker returned within 12 months.

[Tammy]

As soon as our kids were out of school we left the rural Midwest for the urban center of phoenix. Never regretted it. Expenses don't have to go up in a city. We downsized to one car and live in a tiny place. Ride bikes a lot. Enjoy simple outdoor stuff.