article - children of boomers don't want their stuff

[Rosemary]

Ugh, MIL's basement and garage are full of mostly worthless stuff. We've tried convincing her to go through things and declutter, as she may need to move to a senior-friendly place at some point, but we realized over the holidays that this is simply not going to happen, and that we will have to deal with it when she is gone. DH is an only child so it will indeed be us, even though we live 600+ miles away. There are a few articles of furniture that I would like, but that's about it.

Thankfully, my parents have moved numerous times and downsized each time. They have had to deal with the belongings of their own parents and grandparents in the past, and are not leaving so much stuff for us to deal with.

[KayLR]

I have to agree with the poster who said the thing about alternating generations. That's been the case in my family, anyway.

I always think of something my little girl said to me once: "Mommy, when you die can I have your makeup?" LOL! I love to ask her (she's 30-ish now) if she's still interested in it.

[Dhiana]

Believe me, I have tried, begged and pleaded. I honestly have never heard on anyone trying to get out of a will.

I'm sure there's a way. Just because someone wants to give you something doesn't mean you are legally required to accept.

[ApatheticNoMore]

There's a need for stuff when first going out in the world, maybe the ocassional need for stuff for other lifechanges, but if you've already been there, done that, you dont' need more stuff. Of course if your stuff is Ikea and you are passed down antiques, if you like them of course there's an incentive to keep the antiques and donate the Ikea. Or you could also pass on stuff for your kids when they move out (when there's a REAL need for stuff IOW). But you only need so much stuff! Something like a nice piece of jewelry I could make an exception for, who doesn't need more jewelry afterall? But what jewelry one likes is a matter of taste.

[Zoebird]

It's true. I don't have much interest in my parent's things. I don't mind if my sister gets the lot of it, really. My sister and mother have similar tastes. And, my parents don't have much from my grandmother's generation, so there's no concern on my part there.

My sister is also interested in the geneology. I don't really care so much. I have a few memories of a few family members, and a few memory's of family members whom I never met (family stories), but I'm not sure that those are very important to me either. I don't know what that is about (for me). But, my sister does share stuff with me that's pretty cool.

When my ILs were here, they had an interesting experience. Our house is so minimalist, that they were really impressed with how spacious 485 sq ft can be. It isn't a big surprise to us. But, MIL noted that DH would not be interested in the "family stuff" that she's collected over the years as each family member has passed, and so she talked about "just getting rid of most of it, and saving what I like best."

I told her that it sounded like a good idea, because then she can enjoy what she has and not feel burdened by the stuff in storage. She mentions feeling burdened by this stuff on occasion.

It was an interesting conversation.

[iris lily]

I'm sure there's a way. Just because someone wants to give you something doesn't mean you are legally required to accept.

I was thinking the same thing. When the time comes, MamaM can get legal advice to get her to walk away from the dysfunctional situation. Now, that is--unless there is OTHER money, money outside of the house and the stuff, that might be worth hanging around for.

When I told my brother that it was fine with me if he spent time selling stuff from my mother's house, we had lots of time to do that. He is a responsible person so if the time came that we had to clean out her house in order to sell it, he would have cooperated with that short timeline.

I completely understand the MamaM's problem, so many people will not let go of their stuff for what it is really worth. I still drive by a house that was part of an estate. I wanted one of the houses in the estate. The other one across the street was ugly. Both were full of junk and it was owned by a family 3 states away who kept telling me, when I called, that they had to clean it out. They did finally come to town and held an estate sale and the crap they had was horrible, just HORRIBLE! They sold none of it. 8 years later, that house is still empty and falling down.

[iris lily]

OP--hang on to SOME of the little stuff (that doesn't get in your way) because your daughter's tastes will change.

I remember that my mom had some jewelry that I thought was hideous & gaudy. After asking me if I wanted a set of earrings (I turned up my nose) she gave them to my cousin.Now I wish I had those earrings. They were costume, but I like gaudy things now! haha. I haven't been able to find similar things on Ebay.

Same with a platinum and diamond family ring, I would have hated it in my 20's and 30's but my mom gave it to me when I was in my 40's and by then, I loved it!

[pony mom]

A lot of the boomers' kids are into mid-century style furnishings.

[iris lily]

I read that article, so thank god I got rid of the extra silver sets a couple of years ago. Now I've just got what I use. haha.

I think that already heavy old Victorian furniture is passe, but since I love it, I don't care. I certainly don't buy my pieces for appreciation or investment. I also suspect that the boomer grandchildren will love pre-1900 antiques because they will see how long that Ikea junk lasts.

[Kestrel]

DH and I are "pushing 70" and are in the gradual process of getting rid of stuff that we've had packed away so long we don't know what's in those boxes anymore.

I know we do have two sets of china and silver from his father's and mother's family, both "good stuff" we think, but neither of our sons wants them. Lots of decorative display china; sigh. Scrapbooks and scrapbooks of photos and tokens from vacations, etc. Lots of little things. What to do; what to do?

Plus, what do we do with "my" things??? I love pinecones! Cones in general. I have lots and lots of digger pine, ponderosa pine, jeffrey pine, bristlecone pine, lodgepole pine, sugar pine, redwood, giant sequoia, dawn redwood, etc. And rocks! Beautiful beautiful rocks! And shells! And Smokey Bear stuff! Used to work for the Forest Service, and I love Smokey Bear stuff!

Well, our kids are going to have to deal with all that! Just like we're having to deal with all the other stuff ...