I recall hearing Suze Orman say once that if you ignore your creditors long enough, the statute of limitations--or its equivalent--comes into play, or something. I suggest you consult an attorney and/or a federal or state agency set up to deal with mortgage issues. And maybe your children could find a way to help bring money into the household?
No sage advice to offer Zoe Girl, just want to add to the moral support. Take a chance to celebrate the smaller victories while you're working through this tough spot. You've made good progress on a lot of issues, remember that. Keep chipping away and one day in the not too distant future you will wake up and all this will be behind you for good.
"Back when I was a young boy all my aunts and uncles would poke me in the ribs at weddings saying your next! Your next! They stopped doing all that crap when I started doing it to them... at funerals!"
Good luck with this, Zoe Girl. You've accomplished so much; I'm confident that you'll overcome this latest obstacle.
Zoe, you are doing an incredible job of keeping it together. I am in awe.
I agree with Jane in terms of talking to a lawyer.
Also, you might actually consider bankruptcy.
I know that it's huge and emotional and overwhelming and feels *seriously uncool!*
BUT, it works. It's designed to work for people like you who need to be free, who need to really start over and be responsible and all of that good stuff that you *are* doing. That you should be *proud of* doing. That we are all proud of you for doing!
A lawyer can best advice, and consider going to a legal aid center first to ask for advice (it's free).
Thank you all, I am so encouraged by you. i have a friend who does this and she says the not being able to contact me is untrue. They could have sent a status update when they purchased the loan. Also that 1,800 in legal fees so far is untrue, there is no way they have spent that much to simply send a summons. So mostly I am worried about the shaky but currently stable relationship with my ex husband. When teh foreclosure was happening my lawyer said he thought my ex would have no problem with me and the kids having nowhere to live. I need to remember that when he gets really angry over this, and I am prepared for him to be very angry.
Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry this is happening. If bankruptcy can discharge this new debt on your end, please seriously consider that.Originally Posted by Zoe Girl
I'm no attorney, but if your ex didn't demand that the mortgage be re-done without his name on it, that's on him. Of course, you couldn't have qualified for that mortgage, right? So that would have meant disrupting your kids to move. Maybe your ex did see that and left it alone, so in that regard he was ok.
But I distinctly remember when you guys bought that house and you didn't want such a big house, he's the one who wanted it. Ok buddy, you got it.
Zoe, I'm sorry you've run into another obstacle.
I will echo those who suggest you at least look again into bankruptcy. A foreclosure will clobber your credit rating (as you know); bankruptcy is somewhat worse, but it will give you a chance to start again without this kind of encumbrance.
Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. - Booker T. Washington
So my horrible rotten child was sooo nice. We made an agreement to just try to be nicer in our family. Honestly that is what usually pushes me over the edge, griping about groceries when i am trying to get a bill paid off and stressing. I think they feel it so then everyone is stressed. In any case I yelled at her this morning and it was justified (sneaking smoking in the house AGAIN, I can smell it through my vent in the middle of the night) but I was more angry than I should have been probably. I told her what was going on and how I was afraid her dad would be mad and take away some of the money he gives us, she thought that was ridiculous and it was not my fault. Then later she was tearing up and saying that at work they have this way to give people $500 when they are having a rough time. That is when I said it was okay, i will take care of it, but i wanted us to be nice to each other so when i handle these things at least I have my family.
And I got the last of the ice cream birthday cake for my son. Iris, you have a great memory. Sticking to my guns and getting out of the deal on a much more expensive house than the one we ended up with was an actual abusive situation. I don't go back and think about that often because it is not my life now, but I basically stuck out being trapped in a hotel room with him going on in anger for over 3 hours. Not fun, so I recall why I deal with all of this is so I never have to live like that again. Even if he is angry I can keep all my good boundaries and move on in life.
Sending you hugs, Zoe Girl. I agree with the other posters about talking to an attorney. Many will give free consultations. And I would not rule out bankruptcy as an option. You need a break from more bills.
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