Terminal illness. What would you do?

[Spartana]

Thinking about Valarie Harpers situation got me to thinking - if I were seemingly very healthy, fit and feeling good but were suddenly diagnosed with a terminal illness, one that only had a survival rate of 10% or less even with very agressive treatment (surgury, chemo, radiation, etc..) what would I do? Would I tell friends and family? Would I try any treatments even if they probably wouldn't work and left me very ill during the time I had left? Would I get into debt or spend all my savings and assets in search of a cure or for treatment if insurance didn't cover it? If I were working would I quit to do some things I always wanted to do? Would I go out in search of some "miracle cure" or just go gently into that good night?

For myself I probably wouldn't tell family or friends until I started feeling ill or needed help. I wouldn't do any treatment that made me ill feeling. I wouldn't go into debt or use my savings or assets to pay for treatments. I would quit my job or whatever was holding me down and start doing as many of my "bucket list" things asap. I wouldn't go in search of a miracle cure.

So what would you do? Do you feel it is irresponsible or mean not to tell familiy members or friends? Do you think it's wrong not to try everything possible treatment-wise and/or cost-wise to get better even if there is only a small chance? What percent of survivability would you need to do treatments 20%? 50%? higher? And would you do anything drastic (like sell the house and run off to Fiji?) before the end?

[Gardenarian]

When I think of terminal illness, for me the first thing that jumps to mind is melanoma, as I have already dealt with skin cancer once. If I had less than a 10% chance of survival, I would not go through the whole radiation/chemotherapy route (of course, I might change my mind when the time comes...)

I don't know if I could name a percentage number where I would be willing to go through more medical treatment ...in real life, there are so many variables that doctors are usually unable to tell you what the chances are. I would hope I had a doctor I could trust, and rely on their advice.

I would definitely tell friends and family members. I have had some pretty major medical problems and have found their support incredibly helpful. Heck, I'd tell everyone.

If only a "miracle cure" was possible, I would try some radical approaches to healing, but not expensive ones. For example, fasting has been shown to be pretty effective for many cancers. I would try alternative medicine, but I would not spend a lot of money.

I would quit my job immediately and concentrate on spending as much time with my daughter as possible.

The more people in my life that I have seen die, the more I think we should take the same approach that we take with out pets. My mom lived way past her time - if she had been my dog, people would have said I was cruel to keep her alive. I would hope that I would focus on quality, not quantity, of life.

I don't have a bucket list as such, but I would like to live to see my daughter grow up, and write a novel that I am proud of. No running off to Fiji. I'd just want to spend as much time in nature with my dh, dd, and dogs as I could. (I feel like I already live in the best place on the planet, so.)

[Great question, Spartana!]

[sweetana3]

I pretty much feel the same way you both do but would add that I would immediately investigate hospice for all the support they can give. They would help with the quality of remaining time. We all are going to die at some point and I would rather go gracefully.

I don't really have much on my bucket list but would enjoy some time at the ocean on the beach just listening to the waves.

[catherine]

I believe in taking a reasonable course of treatment, but I agree that if it gets to a certain point where I'd be just drawing out the inevitable, I would hope I'd be able to recognize that point and go with the flow of life and death.

I feel my family deserves the truth, so I would tell them.

Here's my bucket list, which I wrote about in my blog:

My Bucket List:
Be here now.

[Gardenarian]

Love your bucket list Catherine!

[flowerseverywhere]

I would focus on family and friends. After a life of working as a nurse I would be quite careful what treatment I would go for. Certain cancers for example have an excellent five and ten year survival rates, but some have a 10% chance of a one year survival rate and that would certainly affect my de ision. I would create something for everyone to remember me by. Maybe a book of drawings and photos for each grandchild, letters to be opened after I pass etc. I have no desire to run off to travel, but instead to get my affairs in order and make sure my loved ones would have a chance to say goodbye.

[awakenedsoul]

I would probably take the least invasive approach. I don't think I would travel around trying last ditch treatments. I was surprised that Farrah Fawcett did all that when she had cancer. I don't even go to the doctor, so I guess first I'd have to go to get a diagnosis. I would probably get my affairs in order, maybe even sell my house. I would find homes for my pets, and enjoy each day. I'd keep knitting, doing yoga, growing food, and keep my life as stress free as possible. I did a lot of traveling when I was in my twenties and thirties. I might take a trip to Europe and to Australia...

[bae]

My Bucket List:
Be here now.

Exactly - “Do every act of your life as though it were the very last act of your life.” - Marcus Aurelius

Now, if I knew with moral certainty that I was going to perish quite soon from some terminal disease, I might be tempted to meditate a bit more on Derrick Jensen's Endgame: Resistance and make up a short list of Needful Things To Be Done, and get to work.

[Dhiana]

Step One: Book my tickets to India and Africa!

I work very hard to live life deeply each day, focus on activities and friends who are most important to me. Sometimes it's showing a friend how to crochet or a That 70s Show marathon on the couch with my husband

My bucket list is very, very long and I have been working on it for years. In 2006 I trained for and ran a marathon. I've learned to surf. I'm well on my way to being a successful fiber and metalsmith artist. All the wills and other paperwork are done. If I am smucked by a bus today, that would be ok because I have lived as best I know how with few regrets. My husband knows this.

I'll never finish my bucket list. Opening the first bookstore on another planet is no longer a practical idea nor do I think I'll live long enough to see that spaceport built
As Catherine wrote in her blog, a bucket list is personal. You must create your own. And live it now, BEFORE you get the terminal illness news.

[razz]

Love the bucket list and living each day as though it is your last. Cannot be sure of doing anything until I actually face the reality which I hope that we all don't.