Planning a Wedding!!

[decemberlov]

My dream wedding was small, early fall, and on the farm. My husbands dream wedding was on a ski slope (I didn't ski at the time). Then I wanted late night in a small candle lit chapel. We ended up with the huge formal afternoon into evening with sit-down meal wedding my mother always wanted.

I mentioned recently in another wedding thread about attending an early morning wedding with donuts instead of cake (easy to build a tower cake from donuts), and a barn wedding with pies instead of cake. I love all the variety these days.

Float On - I wanted my wedding on a farm as well!! A friend and I talked about sharing the cost of renting a farm in Maryland - she is planning a wedding for next year also. Her mom lives down there and is friends with 2 sisters that own a farm. The one is a professional chef and they are opening a small restaurant this June only seats about 20 and all organic food! Joe didn't like the idea of asking people to travel over an hr. We live in south jersey and we have some family in north Jersey and it would be quite a hike! After thinking about all the details, I had to agree it just wouldn't work out well and would most likely me way more money than we want to spend. But oh it would be so lovely!!

[decemberlov]

Oooh! I really wanted to have a brunch wedding! When DH and I started wedding planning, it was my first idea.

I wanted it to be at the local park (free venue!) in an area where there are lots of picnic tables. i was going to serve some crustless mini quiches, yogurt parfaits, fruit salad, green, salad, and toast/jam, orange juice, and tea/coffee (which would have been brought in rented big thermos things that you can rent at a party store). And then, of course, cake!

I wanted very few guests -- it was a list around 20.

The budget was really low, honestly. I think the biggest expense was renting out the plates, mugs, etc from the party store. Clean up was relatively easy because they told us to scrape everything, put them in the boxes and return them dirty, as they had industrial washers at the shop. I think that was going to be something like $120? And then food wasn't that much, really -- probably about $100? Then the cake, which I would have had made because I love good cake and can't make them to save my life. That might have cost about $50 from a good cake shop. The ones I normally got for my birthday were about that. Definitely would feed 20 that cake.

Anyway, yeah. that was the idea. then license, JoP fees, and dress for me and whatever DH wanted to wear. And I wasnt' going to go fancy anyway. . .

Great minds think alike
What did you end up doing?

[decemberlov]

For a smallish reception you might want to consider local places that do brunch if they have a separate area for your party. I had a reception of about 50 people at a restaurant and the price was much cheaper than having it catered...almost 10 years later and everyone still remembers it as the best wedding food they've had.

If we do go with the Country Club there is a nice one that does the brunch for $12 per person. Considering I've hear some people pay over $50 a plate (for not so great food) it sounds like a good deal!

[befree]

there are so many unique, low-cost ideas on the web for weddings. Some of my faves: "teatime" wedding in the afternoon, so guests know there won't be lunch or dinner, just teas, coffees, lemonade,scones, muffins, etc. Wedding in the park or on farm with hula-hoops and other games sounds like old-fashioned fun. Possibly get a family member or dear friend to obtain certification from Universal Life church so they can perform wedding ceremony. Instead of a DJ for an after-wedding dance, with just a few couples on a dance floor while the rest of the wedding guests just sit there because they don't like the music or dancing: bride and groom pick a bar they like, maybe with music and dance floor; invite anybody who wants to come to meet there night of ceremony. Those who want to, can dance, party, buy whatever drink they want. No advance planning, no DJ, no pressure, no cost.

[Zoebird]

Great minds think alike
What did you end up doing?

We ended up with a much fancier wedding because that's what DH and my family wanted (and DH's family took credit for planning and paying for, even though they did nothing! LOL).

We rented a colonial house in a historical park for the day (it was a $1k rental), and then had a welcoming reception (food) prior to the wedding, and then followed with a sit-down dinner. That bit (which included the two cakes since I wanted a bride and a groom cake) cost about $3k. Then everything else came in for another $3k -- which included a lot of things that I didn't want like a photographer, flowers and other decorations, my dress (which was only $300), DH's suit, etc, etc. We also had about 90 guests -- way more than I wanted (DH's family invited something like 9 couples).

My parents paid for all of it, because they wanted something fancier.

These were the plans that I'd come up with that DH:

1. garden version with JOP (above);

2. quaker meeting version -- we were attending quaker meeting at the time and ultimately did have a quaker wedding. We thought to do one Sunday afternoon, after normal service. It's usually a pot-luck, and we would provide cakes, tea, and coffee. This one was loudly and soundly rejected.

3. restaurant version -- i thought we could invite DH's family (8 people plus DH) and my family (including two out-of-town guests -- 5 people plus me) plus DH's two best friends and their partners, invite a JOP, and then have a nice dinner (pre-planned and paid menu at $25 pp).

4. courthouse plus dessert bar -- I thought that DH's parents and sister, and my parents and sister could go to the courthouse and have the ceremony and then go to a local dessert bar after.

5. courthouse and done -- DH and I go to the courthouse, marry and are done. Maybe we go to dinner.

I am not much of a romantic really.

[iris lilies]

We went to the courthouse, married, had dinner. I am a not much of a romantic, really. haha! And both of us were older (mid 30's) and were busy at that time preparing to move and besides, we are too cheap to spend much for things that we don't value.