A good friend went for her annual routine mammogram two weeks ago and got the shock we're always praying we DON'T get at a mammogram (and followup): She has a non-aggressive cancer growing in one breast, and two blips of an aggressive cancer growing in the other. She is devastated. This is a woman who has been through a lot of catastrophe in her life already, had just settled down with a wonderful new beau and retired, and now this. She's sifting through all the conflicting recommendations -- mastectomy, radiation, hormones, chemo -- and is really coming apart at the seams.
I want to be as supportive as I can without pretending I know what she's going through, because I know there's nothing worse than having someone parrot "I know how you feel...." when they really don't. But I am not sure how I can be of the most help to her. If you've been through something similar, can you share what actions your friends took that were the most helpful? I can be a most wonderful listener, but want to be cautious to keep it supportive and helpful rather than just doom and gloom.....yet being Ms. sunshine pollyanna doesn't seem quite right either.
For a control freak, the thought that I can't wave my magic wand and make this go away for her is infuriating....
Any thoughts on any of this?