Real Hourly Wage isn't doin' it for me anymore

[fidgiegirl]

The Real Hourly Wage and life energy spent used to be superb deterrent for me in my spending. Not so anymore. Since DH and I have such a close hourly wage (his is a tad higher), I average them out and we get a neat $30 an hour for RHW. So when I find myself trying to apply RHW in analyzing a spend, I end up nearly never feeling like it's something I wouldn't want to spend my life energy on. Geez, I'm sure someone is reading this as a total brag, which it is absolutely not meant to be. The problem is that every INDIVIDUAL spend feels ok, feels acceptable or even a bargain, and then I do the monthly questions, and it's like CRAP! No, I did not want to spend a total of x on that - even if every individual instance of it felt fine.

Let's take restaurants.

DH and I are not drinkers or appetizer people but we are desert eaters. So usually we each have an entree, perhaps an iced tea but usually just water, and sometimes we split a dessert. $30 is a common tab for the two of us and makes our math here easier. So then I start to think, well, $30 for the two of us, and I split that in two because we both worked to earn the $$ for the meal, so I think, hey, is this meal worth half an hour at work to me? Yep, sure is.

Then at the end of the month I might total up our restauranting and see that we've spent $300, and suddenly, in retrospect, all of those restaurant visits do NOT feel like they were worth 5 hours of my life energy (10 hours of RHW divided by DH and I) to pay for them.

Writing this out, it occurs to me that perhaps it's not so much the amount of the spending that is throwing me off but the TIMING of asking the questions. Certainly if I am hungry and waiting in line to be seated at my favorite restaurant, I am going to feel like the life energy is pretty dang worth it no matter how high that number is. Looking at it a month later, well, perhaps not so much.

So I guess my question is, do you use some alternative methods for evaluating your spending on the spot? Questions you ask yourself, mantras you use, images, graphics, anything? Because I feel like having the control over whether I choose to work outside of the home is worth my life energy more than many other spends.

Thanks to catherine for the "what would you cut out?" thread that got me thinking about this. Sorry so long, that's kind of my MO on here lately!

[redfox]

Yeah, I feel this way too, especially about restaurants. Since my diagnosis & treatment process, which has been March until this week, we have gone out a lot, as a stress response. We're finally buying high quality prepared food at the co-op to try to replace going out, and acknowledging that not having the energy to cook has been one of the fallouts. Nonetheless, it is very expensive. <sigh> Thank goodness we had meals brought to us for much of April, and June was better for me being able to cook, as I had a break from treatment.

Getting to the root of why a particular expenditure is a coping strategy chosen in the moment has been helpful for me. I am taking a no-blame approach, so when I understood that going out to dinner when DH gets home from work & I am exhausted from radiation helped me to see that a replacement option might be in order. Soon, we will get to the point of cooking more as my energy builds back up. In the meantime, accepting the need & making choices to lower stress has been very helpful.

[bae]

I simply ask myself, when considering a purchase:

Is this worth sacrificing an income stream of 5%/year...forever?

So if it is $100, I'm thinking not "$100 now for this cool toy, can I afford it?" or "Is this worth N hours of my time for this toy", but rather:

"Is this thingy worth $5/year to own, for the rest of my life, my child's life, my grandchildren's life, ...".

[tetrimbath]

My take is slightly different. I consider the money and the time.

Given the price of the meal and the time it takes to get to the restaurant, wait, be served, eat, wait for the check, and then get home would I be able to make a better meal in less time at home, or by buying from a deli? The answer is frequently eat at home, which works for me because I enjoy cooking; but, when I am hungry and standing outside a reasonable restaurant the convenience value is more apparent. I've also found some very good end-of-the-day deli meals at the grocery across the street from my office. (Fried chicken half off? What an indulgence!)

The easiest way for me to calculate the value of my drive time is by the gas involved.

The bonus detail is the leftovers. Is the cost truly for one meal, or does it include subsequent lunches and dinners?

If you can't tell, the answer isn't always eat at home; but, it is rare for the meal out saves me time and money, nor does the food taste as good (because I know how to cook for me.)

Of course, if I am asked out to dine with an appealing and equally available dinner companion, well, the value of that time greatly swings the balance of the equation.

[try2bfrugal]

So I guess my question is, do you use some alternative methods for evaluating your spending on the spot? Questions you ask yourself, mantras you use, images, graphics, anything?!

We have a set monthly budget each month for entertainment. In the past we made a spreadsheet of everything we did and ranked how fun it was on a scale of 1 - 10. Then I added in how much each activity cost, including transportation (gas, parking, bridge tolls, etc.) Then we came up with a fun per cost factor.

We found out we had as much fun hiking, free park events, matinee movies, free days at museums and gardens and free (after one membership cost) reciprocal museum membership visits as we did more expensive plays and concerts.

One of the best values for us is going out to eat with an Entertainment book 2 for 1 coupon, lunch is often cheaper, drinking water and skipping dessert. I subtract out what we would have spent eating at home, and include tip (on the full amount) plus tax. it is a pretty cheap date, considering we would have to pay for food we ate at home anyway. I sign up for restaurant mailing lists and get a lot of 2 for 1 coupons that way, too.

Last week we saw a movie at the early bird matinee price and went out to eat twice for 2 for 1 coupons. Plus we have the regular activities we do each week that don't cost anything extra each month like Netflix movies, social / hobby club meetings and events, hiking, the free public gardens and the dog park.

I guess my short answer is we have a budget and I just stay at those numbers or under. I don't agonize over every purchase as long as I'm within budget. I try to spend money on fun stuff or simple living items. My recent purchases were a low flow shower head, more LED bulbs, and used DIY books from the library book sale.

[iris lilies]

This is another good thread, interesting thought.

I don't calculate the RHW but there is nothing that is worth paying interest to The Man. NO ONE is the boss of me when I own my house free and clear. I really really REALLY hate mortgages and interest.

And then after paying off my mortgage, in your case. I'd wants $$$ cash to pay for repairs such as new casement windows. I would never consider taking out a loan, not because that is "Wrong" by some arbitrary standard but because my gut tells me it is so not worth it to get into bed with The Man again. Save the cash up first. Debt is servitude.

[Kestra]

How is your bottom line? If you are fine with what you are saving, then I wouldn't worry about it. If you need to save more money, what about setting a time limit on it? - Eating out twice a month for example. So never eat out two weeks in a row.

For me, I feel my default is always not to spend money. It just doesn't come up much in my life, other than regular bills and groceries. Any time spending money comes up I think about how much I actually want to spend it. It's always talking myself into spending money, never the reverse. I think just planning to live a life not spending helps a lot. Of course, I do end up buying things and have to compromise with DH, but purchases feel deliberate, rather than impulsive or accidental.

[iris lilies]

...For me, I feel my default is always not to spend money..... It's always talking myself into spending money, never the reverse...

That's pretty much how I used to be, for 30 years.

You (the generic you) can accumulate a lot of money with that attitude, and then after 30 years of it, the default can change to "I would like to spend money on this" which still isn't a lot because after years of no spending, it becomes a habit.

[catherine]

Yeah, I never was motivated by Real Hourly Wage. For a while, what was the most motivating factor in not spending money was Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover--every time I'd think about spending something, I'd consider how it would be better of going toward my debt snowball, and that usually stopped impulse buys.

I'm still motivated by that, but I also like the way bae put it--I'm thinking about future investment. And even from the spending perspective.

For instance, as I've said in the past, my kitchen has never made one step out of the 70s, except for when we painted the cabinets a more contemporary color. Obviously I'm not really in a position to spend a lot of money on kitchen remodeling. HOWEVER, this summer we decided to do some work in the kitchen/powder room. For one thing, if we ever determined that the wise move would be to rent or sell, the kitchen would definitely be a detriment. I don't know who would rent a house with that kitchen the way it was--and even when buying, people like to see new.

So I got a cabinet reface (we kept the cabinet boxes), new sink, faucet, countertop, new stove, new backsplash. Wow... what a difference! And I get to enjoy it for a little while anyway.

In other words, high value for the money, in terms of my quality of life and the improved value of the house.

But, I still get that nagging, "should I have???" especially when my retro-loving daughter said she was sad to see the Harvest Gold go! (Of course, the oven wasn't even working anymore. We had to cook the last two Thanksgiving turkeys in my BIL's house. So I told her that at least that's a good reason to get rid of it!)

[pinkytoe]

I am not too analytical about purchases anymore except for thinking about price per wear, ie clothing. I have developed an inner sense of balance when it comes to spending and if I do compute it, the numbers are always within a range I can live with (usually!). Our impetus for not eating out much anymore is that it most often doesn't seem like a good value for the money spent. We can make much tastier meals at home. We generally eat out for brunch or lunch on the weekends when we are relaxed and more likely to savor the experience. Last night was one of those both too tired to cook, let's eat out nights..but nipped it in the bud and had large bowls of home cooked pinto beans (thawed from freezer) garnished with chopped avocado, tomato, cilantro, cheese and salsa. It did the trick and saved us $15-20.