Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 32

Thread: Small house envy...

  1. #21
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    2,819
    I quoted you directly in the original post that I made. Here is the relevant portion: ". . .then you get to marriage/family and more space needed. . ."

    It's really strange/annoying to assert that I'm inserting things into this statement. Your statement is clear, declarative in nature, and absolute -- in or out of context.

    I also don't get how my non-declarative message "oh, I don't know. This is how I live, too, . . ." implies any form of absolute application across families. It only implies possibilities for families and an example through our choices, just as this family's home is an example. I also don't understand how my statements translate to being some "major" disagreement between us.

    I like to share my atypical experience because it talks about possibilities. It's not this one family that does this. It's lots and lots of families. It may not be typical, but we are not singular, either. I like to read about other families who are like us or striving to be like us (living smaller, more minimally, etc), and I like to share to encourage other families who might be looking for another way, an atypical way, too.

    When I read statements that say "different stages of life need more space" I hear the call of our culture -- the one that creates that typical experience over and over. And I say "Oh, I don't know if that's absolute."

    That is all.

  2. #22
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    3,704
    Quote Originally Posted by Zoebird View Post
    I quoted you directly in the original post that I made. Here is the relevant portion: ". . .then you get to marriage/family and more space needed. . ."

    It's really strange/annoying to assert that I'm inserting things into this statement. Your statement is clear, declarative in nature, and absolute -- in or out of context.


    When I read statements that say "different stages of life need more space" I hear the call of our culture -- the one that creates that typical experience over and over. And I say "Oh, I don't know if that's absolute."

    That is all.
    So you here the call of "our" culture (guess our, your etc. are going to always need defining?), and think that the "call of culture in my statement" is absolute, unless it is from your view?

    That is where I see you inserting your own prejudices/preconceived notions into the conversation.

  3. #23
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    2,819
    That's a very complex defensive process you have there.

    Here's the way I see it:

    1. you asserted a cultural notion that -- in our culture -- is absolute;

    2. I contested the absolute nature of that *notion* through my experience, in no way asserting or implying that my experience was or should be absolute;

    3. you begin your cultural contextualizing response by asserting that my statement was absolute in nature -- at this point, *you* inserted a construct into my response that wasn't there -- then contextualize the cultural notion which your statement was intended to imply;

    4. I then reassert that the absolute nature in the tone of your response (3) is false and describe our work-arounds for those of us who have chosen to not go along with the paradigm of family = needs space;

    5. you then assert that I'm inserting prejudices toward the statement as you both A. stated it (1) and B. contextualized it (3).

    Basically, I suggest that at some point you felt personally attacked when I picked up the absolute nature of the cultural notion housed, by your intention, in your original statement, and as such, have felt the need to defend yourself by casting me as the "bad guy" who is "inserting" prejudices into your statements.

    I don't think that you are a bad person who asserts that your way is the one true way. I acknowledge that it is our shared cultural process that family = needs space is absolute, and that I am both the living antithesis of that, and that you support that notion regardless of whether or not it is typical or atypical. Likewise, I acknowledge our shared belief that people are making choices and free to make choices in regards to their lives and lifestyles -- whether those are typical or atypical to the dominant cultural paradigm.

    It would be nice, though, if you would acknowledge your discomfort with -- what I believe to be -- an assumption that I was attacking you, not confronting a cultural notion housed in your statement.

  4. #24
    rodeosweetheart
    Guest
    I have been reading this thread with interest because it seems that there are some polarizing statements. I think some of the way one lives has to do with what one likes and how one wishes to spend one's time--I may hate the idea of folding up my bed each day for heaven knows what reason; I may despise the idea that all of your clothes do not fit into a 36% closet that looks like something out of Real Simple--but in the end, these are personal choices, likes and dislikes, paradigms in how we grew up/wished we had grown up/want to have our own family grow up. I don't think there is a one dominant culture out there dictating whether I should or should not collect fiestaware or save geraniums out of the leaf composting bags I see on the street sometime. By the standards of many here, I own two many guitars (2) and too many books and way, way too many seeds, but hey, if I am happy and not hurting anybody, so what? Similarly, if someone else wants to live more minimally than I do, so what? I don't think either way implies any moral superiority or any bowing to a dominant culture.

    It's cool and inspiring to me to see the Tiny house pictures posted and I get ideas, but honestly, having lived the last 3 years in an 800 square foot house with two work at home teachers and uncountable textbooks, I needed a break and was very happy to get up to 1200 feet. But we have very, very expansive hobbies, pianos, and yeah, some stuff that I will get out and probably move along as I decide it no longer serves where I am at this stage in my life.

    When I was single, 400 feet was peachy, and 500 was even neater. When I was married to the controller, 2300 feet was not enough to get away.

    And I do think stage of life has a lot to do with all of our choices. But then, I teach developmental psychology, so I would.

  5. #25
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    9,812
    rodeosweetheart, I hear you. As much as I drool at these little houses, I think I take the space in my own house for granted. It does help at times like last weekend when all the kids came down. When I stayed in the little cottage on the beach a couple of years ago for a few weeks, I loved it. It might have been about 400-500 sq ft? Just a small living area, small kitchen, small bedroom--no hallways. However, 90% of my stuff was still at my house. I brought a very minimal wardrobe (maybe 20 pieces total for six weeks), my computer, and one plastic tub of assorted things like books and project work stuff. I never needed anything at all, so it made me think maybe I could radically downsize if I put my mind to it.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  6. #26
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    9,812
    OK, here's another small house, off of Inhabitat's website.

    What do you think?
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  7. #27
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    10,912
    I think it would be a most excellent getaway. Just hitch it to your rig, and go.

  8. #28
    rodeosweetheart
    Guest
    WOW! I am in love. Okay, who needs 1200 square feet anyway. I think we could fit one piano in there.
    It is so pretty.

  9. #29
    Senior Member Gardenarian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    SF Bay Area
    Posts
    4,255
    Pretty!

  10. #30
    Helper Gregg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Macondo (or is that my condo?)
    Posts
    4,013
    I've spent a lot of time, over many years, thinking about how much space a person needs to feel comfortable. Its not just me, there are thousands of studies and almost as many books on the subject in every university's architecture & anthropology & sociology & psychology departments. There is no pat answer. There are significant cultural as well as individual factors that add up to a different total for each of us.

    Entire Inuit families can live in an igloo smaller than my kitchen and apparently do just fine. I would be guilty of one of the 'cides (homicide, suicide, etc.) in that situation. If I were single I think 400 - 500 sq.ft. would be just about perfect for me. At one point we had a 5600 sq.ft. house when 2 of the kids were still at home. WAY too big for us, DD1 was the only one who felt comfortable in that space, but she tends to exist in her own bubble more than the rest of us so external factors don't have much effect on her. Our new house is 800 sq.ft. For full disclosure there is a full, walk-out basement so its really 1600, but we live on the main level. Anyway, that is about perfect for two of us with DD2 still officially inhabiting the lower level and occasionally making an appearance upstairs. My BIL and his wife are right down the road in ~3200 sq.ft. and are happy as clams with just the two of them rambling around in that house.

    For me personally there is now a sense of responsibility to decrease my footprint. I've also completed the cycle through the 'need' to acquire more stuff with the space to show it off and then jettisoned (most of) the stuff. DW is smarter, she never needed the acquisition in the first place. Adding to that is that I grew up with my folks and three brothers in 1300 sq.ft. so that kind of space never felt crowded. In the end something like 500 sq.ft. for the first person and 300 sq.ft. for each additional full-time resident is extremely comfortable for my family as long as we also have access to outdoor space. YMMV.
    "Back when I was a young boy all my aunts and uncles would poke me in the ribs at weddings saying your next! Your next! They stopped doing all that crap when I started doing it to them... at funerals!"

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •