How to decide where to live

[catherine]

Here are the items on my window shopping list this weekend:

#1: the main reason we decided to go up there to shop around this weekend: this is a steal for the area, but it can't ever be 4-season due to septic size. It needs work, but there is a possibility for rental income since it's in a really desirable summer lakefront area. Or we just live there from April to October and then get a off-season apartment on the Jersey Shore--splitting up our time between the VT kids and my NJ son.
http://www.realtor.com/realestateand...6_M32393-47537

#2: This is the four-season one I mentioned that looks my style. We would pull up all roots in NJ and have the ability to just migrate up here for the long haul. DH would have to find a place to park a boat (he wants to get a cheap used one)
http://www.realtor.com/realestateand...6_M44620-80376

There are others, but these are the two that I'm most interested at the moment. My realtor is trying to get us out to the Champlain islands--South Hero and North Hero (the place in which Bernie Sanders bought a controversial summer home). But I'm worried about the isolation factor. We'll see.

[iris lilies]

Catherine, I hope this turns out for you; it sounds perfect.
It is so rare that a house is a good match for me that it's almost painful not to be able to just go for it.

Wow, you are picky! But that is fine, especially for a homebody.

I think of myself as adaptable to any house that meets my aesthetic requirements. I think of the house as being there,a permenant space, and I am just an occupier for the time being. I adapt to the house, not the other way around.

[iris lilies]

I agree with you about going south in the winter. Doesn't appeal to me, either.

So, how are you going to make your decision? How do you do it with no regrets?

Firstly, i accept that there will be regrets regardless of the road taken. DH and
i can make anything work, we are a powerful team when it comes to accomplishing stuff. But when we take on X, that means we dont do Y, and I will have some regrets for giving up Y.

but I do wonder about things like--my knees. My right hand which was giving me shooting pains yesterday after weeding.
How much longer do we have to traverse those slopes in Hermann? I am 63 years old. Fruit trees take 3-4 years to produce, so DH wouldnt see his orchard produce until then.

If his physical ability goes south, we are done. He is a working fool but this isnt a place we would want to hire bunches dne but we could certainly hire mowing done. The financial risk is something we can easily take on, yet running a full second property will take $$$.

Todays discussion has helped my chrystalize the central question: how do
I want to spend my time in the next few years? Three days a week in
Herman seems fine. The house itself has all hard surface floors (even if they are all,different, ugh!) so cleaning floors wouldnt be a big strain.

[iris lilies]

Here are the items on my window shopping list this weekend:

#1: the main reason we decided to go up there to shop around this weekend: this is a steal for the area, but it can't ever be 4-season due to septic size. It needs work, but there is a possibility for rental income since it's in a really desirable summer lakefront area. Or we just live there from April to October and then get a off-season apartment on the Jersey Shore--splitting up our time between the VT kids and my NJ son.
http://www.realtor.com/realestateand...6_M32393-47537

#2: This is the four-season one I mentioned that looks my style. We would pull up all roots in NJ and have the ability to just migrate up here for the long haul. DH would have to find a place to park a boat (he wants to get a cheap used one)
http://www.realtor.com/realestateand...6_M44620-80376

There are others, but these are the two that I'm most interested at the moment. My realtor is trying to get us out to the Champlain islands--South Hero and North Hero (the place in which Bernie Sanders bought a controversial summer home). But I'm worried about the isolation factor. We'll see.

Both are really nice! That cabin is attractive because of the lake, but the 4 season house is stellar.

If you can squeese down to 7XX sq feet, good for you! That is proving to be impossible for us. DH, Mr. Fixit, needs to have a basement full of tools to fix stuff. Also, he doesnt let go of anything, so that worries me a little about having another house to fill up with crap.

[catherine]

Todays discussion has helped my chrystalize the central question: how do
I want to spend my time in the next few years? Three days a week in
Herman seems fine. The house itself has all hard surface floors (even if they are all,different, ugh!) so cleaning floors wouldnt be a big strain.

Yes, that's the big question! My life would be enriched by being in just enough house: I played with the idea of a condo or townhouse, but what I cherish now is being able to step outside freely, not see many neighbors, except the ones cutting through the park, and lie down on my lounger, reading a book and enjoying the fruits of my labor in terms of my little gardens, humble as they are.

I also want enough space so that DH and I don't feel like we're breathing all over each other 24/7.

But I don't want to have to clean 3 bathrooms, or huge swaths of flooring.

I want to be able to walk out the door and walk either with purpose (to a store for instance) or aimlessly (down a dirt path with the dog for instance). I want cultural amenities close by and enough people in the area for me to be able to find a few like-minded souls. I want to be able to take art classes or dance classes. I want to be able to volunteer on permaculture projects.

I want to spend more time with the kids up north for sure. I miss the casual conversations we have when they're down here on holidays.

[razz]

I love the 4-season but would query the insulation quality in Vt area every time. A cold house can be miserable but if you go into it knowing that it will need to be done or not is very important.

[Tybee]

I love the 4-season but would query the insulation quality in Vt area every time. A cold house can be miserable but if you go into it knowing that it will need to be done or not is very important.

We live in Northern Michigan in a small house, about the size of the 4-season one (I also LOVE that one, so pretty and so cool, move in ready!) and it is quite snug and warm all winter. We do live on a farm and we do insulate the outside with straw bales, which we then use in the garden. It has been a wonderful practice and saved us much in propane.

[catherine]

We live in Northern Michigan in a small house, about the size of the 4-season one (I also LOVE that one, so pretty and so cool, move in ready!) and it is quite snug and warm all winter. We do live on a farm and we do insulate the outside with straw bales, which we then use in the garden. It has been a wonderful practice and saved us much in propane.

I love the idea of straw bales to insulate the house in the winter and garden in the summer! In fact if I were a few years younger, I'd buy a cheap piece of land and build a straw bale house. My permaculture teacher has built several, and believes them to be the best option for sustainable home building.

[pinkytoe]

Another thing to consider (though we'd all rather not) is how we would get on in the place we choose if...we lost our significant other. I think I think too much

[catherine]

Another thing to consider (though we'd all rather not) is how we would get on in the place we choose if...we lost our significant other. I think I think too much

I'm the opposite of iris lilies: I anticipate (though I hope not) that my DH will predecease me. His favorite picture, which he loves and hangs in his office, is a 17th century engraving of a guy sitting under a tree--fat, drinking, smoking, and smiling. So, yes, pinkytoe, I think that's a reasonable question. My uncle was a very successful real estate businessman and the family patriarch. He and his second wife built two gorgeous homes in CT and in Marathon, FL. Then he died at age 68. She wasted no time selling those properties and moving to a small house. So, I'd rather be able to stay put in a place that's comfortable to be in single or "partnered" than go through the grief of losing my husband AND my home.