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Thread: Practical strategies to cope with being alone?

  1. #181
    Senior Member CathyA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dado potato View Post
    There might be a nugget of insight in this 1,260 year-old poem of Li Po.

    DRINKING ALONE WITH THE MOON
    From a pot of wine among the flowers
    I drank alone. There was no one with me --
    Till, raising my cup, I asked the bright moon
    To bring me my shadow and make us three.
    Alas, the moon was unable to drink,
    And my shadow tagged me vacantly;
    But still for a while I had these friends
    To cheer me through the end of spring...
    I sang. The moon encouraged me.
    I danced. My shadow tumbled after.
    As long as I knew, we were boon companions.
    And then I was drunk, and we lost one another.
    ... Shall goodwill ever be secure?
    I watch the long road of the River of Stars.
    That’s beautiful!

  2. #182
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  3. #183
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    Quote Originally Posted by CathyA View Post
    That’s beautiful!
    Didn’t understand it at all.

  4. #184
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    One of my colleagues has said she is going to try to fix me up with someone. haha

  5. #185
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    One of my colleagues has said she is going to try to fix me up with someone. haha
    Why is that a "haha"? Did you decide to abstain from going out? Are you laughing at the odds? Inquiring minds want to know.
    Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. - Booker T. Washington

  6. #186
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SteveinMN View Post
    Why is that a "haha"? Did you decide to abstain from going out? Are you laughing at the odds? Inquiring minds want to know.
    Well, she is 24. So almost all the women she knows are that age. I am 39. 24 is way too young for this worn out, tired, middle aged dude. So that is probably a no-go right there.

    But a woman that works in the office suite beside the one I work in apparently has a crush on me. She is about 30. I have seen her making googly eyes at me and giving me little waves and smiles. I kid you not.

    That would be a no-go too as "I don't get my honey where I make my money."

    Another colleague has suggested I meet one of her single friends. But she wants babies. So no-go!

  7. #187
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    A local minimalist woman I have been talking to (about minimalism) seems interested. She is mid-40s, does not have the baby-rabies at all, is into the tiny house movement, likes dogs, has a master's degree and a good job, enjoys traveling quite a bit (she is a national parks collector), and is physically attractive. She is also an avid reader of foreign fiction novels!

  8. #188
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    Maybe the colleague thinks you’d be good for her friend’s mom.....

    (you don’t mind grown up kids, right?)

  9. #189
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    Maybe the colleague thinks you’d be good for her friend’s mom.....

    (you don’t mind grown up kids, right?)
    Maybe. And probably, so long as they are leeches.

    I went on a really, really good date a couple years ago with a 59 year old woman. She was pretty and sweet and fun and genuine. I was thinking: "This is definitely going to have subsequent dates. We have a great rapport!"

    Then she proceeded to tell me about her two mid-to-late 20s sons who worked part time at a grocery store and lived at home. I was like: "This is definitely not going to have subsequent dates."

    I simply told her we weren't a good match and wished her the best. She was a lovely woman though, relationship material if it weren't for the anchors weighing her down.

  10. #190
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post

    (you don’t mind grown up kids, right?)
    I will say this, I am feel like my mind is changing about dating single moms. What I have noticed is that there are a certain and considerable number of single moms with just one kid. These moms wanted a family, they wanted kids. But then once they had one they realized it is a ton of unpleasant work. And then when they got divorced or the baby-daddy was a no-show and they were doing all or almost all that unpleasant child raising work they quickly decided: "No more kids!"

    And I have plenty of my own baggage and problems -- the $165k in student loans certainly sticks out.

    So I need to be a bit forgiving and understanding of the women I date too.

    Anyway, this is something I am thinking about.

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