So she said she wanted to stop discussing it. Which I agreed with (I suggested it several times in a row). But she would then go deep into the topic again.
Then she finally sent that message above about how she wanted to stop the topic.
I was cool with this. I then told her that I did not like how she was so dismissive of me and that I don't do that to her. I listen and I am open to new info and to changing my mind if new info is compelling. Basically, I don't think a friend should be so dismissive.
She accused me of bringing up the topic again despite her telling me not to. But I did not bring up the topic. I just talked about how I don't appreciate her being so dismissive by saying things like:
"You don't get it."
"Typical response."
"You ought to know better"
And so forth.
Then I said this:
"Okay, I am done. I sincerely hope you reflect and consider other viewpoints and ideas in the future."
She said:
"Self righteous hypocrite. You have now officially lost my friendship."
If she wants to be friends again, I am open to that. People are often surprised how I can be friends with people I disagree with, even profoundly disagree with.
They are just wrong about some stuff. Big deal! That is what I think.
And I will debate and discuss endlessly if the person engages me. But if they want to agree to disagree I am like: "Cool!"
End of story.
Hey! I like dogs too!
As a thought exercise I decided switch the genders of my friend, well, former friend.
And it is interesting the picture that is painted.
"He is 33 and in a management position at a huge international corporation where some of his underlings are women and people of color. He makes about $90k.
He owns his own nice house in a trendy neighborhood and owns his own new car.
He has two bachelor degrees (Spanish and Pharm Sales). He also has an MBA. He got scholarships!
He teaches part-time for Kaplan (the testing company).
He travels, plays golf, goes to football games and concerts with his buddies. He dates women as he pleases, and is on the board of a non-profit."
Now doesn't this guy sound like he is very, very privileged?
Tl;dr
You are telling your female friend that sexism isn't a problem?
You are saying that her own experiences and feelings aren't valid?
And you're surprised this pisses her off?
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