Nothing wrong with looking! Not anymore...?

[Yppej]

You could hang out around the deportation section of your local ICE office. Then you don't have to pay for the picture bride's flight here. Just make sure she does not want an anchor baby, because then she won't need you.

[Ultralight]

You could hang out around the deportation section of your local ICE office. Then you don't have to pay for the picture bride's flight here. Just make sure she does not want an anchor baby, because then she won't need you.

How is this not getting flagged by the forum censors?

[iris lilies]

How is this not getting flagged by the forum censors?

Hunh?
--forum censor

[SteveinMN]

I think there is a certain age when women cease to see potential in a man and they see that what he is is what he will always be. This is commonly called "The Wall." And for men is happens around 37.

Hmm. I was much more popular with women at 40 (when I divorced, so I can't speak to 37) than I ever was before.

Ironically, I think it is that women "cease to see potential in a man and they see that what he is is what he will always be". I dated several women who had married/were in long-term relationships with Excitement Guy or Sensitive Quiet Guy or Cowboy and it turned out to not work out well in real life. So when things fell apart, they were no longer looking for a project ("I can fix him!") or higher highs (and lower lows). Instead, they wanted someone who, certainly, was fun to be with and interesting but also was emotionally mature, financially secure, and not prone to wild swings one way or the other. IOW, someone like me, who had never been Excitement Guy. Stability and consistency, I think, wear far better at 37-40 than it does at 21-25.

Not saying this is your issue, UL. It's just my experience in the world.

Or I peaked late. Who can say?

[ToomuchStuff]

How is this not getting flagged by the forum censors?

Hunh?
--forum censor

Exactly what I am wondering.

[Ultralight]

"anchor baby"

This is a very offensive slur.

[bae]

This is a very offensive slur.

Is there a list of such terms that the "forum censor" can consult?

[Ultralight]

Hmm. I was much more popular with women at 40 (when I divorced, so I can't speak to 37) than I ever was before.

Good on you, amigo! Being popular with the ladies is an excellent feeling.

Ironically, I think it is that women "cease to see potential in a man and they see that what he is is what he will always be".

What I meant by women seeing potential in a man was that they say how his success trajectory was going upward or likely to go upward. When I was 33 women likely thought I could go on to do something more than be a low-level government worker who makes more than $47k. But at 37 ("The Wall" for men), women think: "This guy is who he is; he'll be working this job or one like it, or maybe one worse, for life and he'll probably not breach a $50k a year income."

I dated several women who had married/were in long-term relationships with Excitement Guy or Sensitive Quiet Guy or Cowboy and it turned out to not work out well in real life. So when things fell apart, they were no longer looking for a project ("I can fix him!") or higher highs (and lower lows). Instead, they wanted someone who, certainly, was fun to be with and interesting but also was emotionally mature, financially secure, and not prone to wild swings one way or the other. IOW, someone like me, who had never been Excitement Guy. Stability and consistency, I think, wear far better at 37-40 than it does at 21-25.

Sure, many women when they were young conflated potential and "I can fix him!"

But I think I could be a lot more popular with women at this stage in life if I was willing to take care of all the kids they had with Mr. Excitement (or with several Mr. Excitements). Of course a woman who is 30-40 who has kids wants Mr. Reliable with a steady job (even if he makes only $47k) and a steady temperament. She is trying to find someone who will be a good provider and partner in raising her kids because Mr. Excitement thinks working hard is a drag and raising kids is boring.

The problem with this arrangement (for me) is that I want to be loved firstly for who I am, not what I can provide financially and by my labor. The other thing is, I will admit, that it is a real punch to my ego -- "She had all that hot, wild fun time with Mr. Excitement; now it is the boring, laborious years with me -- working, paying bills, taking her kids to soccer games, piano lessons, chess club, etc. making dinner and packing lunches for her kids, etc."

Mr. Excitement will have gotten the passionate version of her, while I get the difficult obligations.

Not saying this is your issue, UL. It's just my experience in the world.

Feel free to speculate on my issue.

Or I peaked late. Who can say?

Peaking late is probably better than peaking early. I think I peaked in college, maybe in graduate school. So, in my 20s. And I have a few friends from the old neighborhood who peaked in senior year of high school. Their lives have been downhill ever since.

[Ultralight]

Is there a list of such terms that the "forum censor" can consult?

I have said far, far less offensive things on here and been threatened with removal.

Now, I am not saying this person should be threatened or taken to task by the authorities. I am wondering why there is an incredibly inconsistency.

[bae]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/...=.fdbc0d0b788e