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Thread: My MIL is going to assisted living tomorrow

  1. #31
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    Unless you can afford a private room there is no privacy. In some places 4 people share a bathroom. I can't imagine never being alone.
    Yes, thatvwould bug me majorly.
    my mother had a private room. But Ibwouldnt mind sharing a bathroom, that has never bothered me.

    apoarently, now, the newly built places have all private rooms or at leadt alcove thingies. My friends father is on a medicaid paid tab in a nursing home and he has privacy.

  2. #32
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    My parents are paying 8400 dollars a month for assisted living in a small room and they have to share a bathroom with another two people. I think that is kind of awful.
    If they need to go to skilled nursing, we were quoted 25,000 a month. And more if we need dementia care.

  3. #33
    Yppej
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    We need a market disrupter. Just like Uber and airbnb a company that connects regular caregivers with regular customers without going through the home health care staffing companies with their markups.

  4. #34
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    We need a market disrupter. Just like Uber and airbnb a company that connects regular caregivers with regular customers without going through the home health care staffing companies with their markups.
    Anyone can hire their own home health care worker.

  5. #35
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    This is playing out in our family too. MIL absolutely refuses to leave her house and now says only family can come inside as she trusts no one else. SIL is the only one left in the area but has to drive 50 miles each way to check on her every week, buy groceries and take her to medical appts. The woman goes to several doctors each week for what I don't know. I think SIL is still enabling her mother's contrariness because this could go on unnecessarily for a long while. We are all waiting for a bad fall or some other calamity but thus far she is of sound mind and can do as she pleases - so long as family keeps showing up by her command. Oh please don't let me do that to my daughter...

  6. #36
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    Well said, Steve. (Post #10)
    You really understand that "the roots run deep" in all of us, at every age.

  7. #37
    Yppej
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    Anyone can hire their own home health care worker.
    Yes but a go-between can do background checks on the people like Uber does.

  8. #38
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    Homecare, after 4 years and several aides here is my take of the booming business of these adult sitters. They make very little money just above minimum which kinda says what you are going to get for care, company however charges a lot . The ones I have had for dad are not nurses they are there for comfort as the name implies.

    The first one did nothing but sit and talk about her life.

    The longest one was nice and dad really liked her, to the point of giving $$$$$$ which with her sad storied she took every time she came, never groceries in house.

    The aides become super comfortable Really Fast.

    The one he had for the last month and half, wow cleaned, kept inventory, texted me on the status of groceries, I figured my days of driving groceries across state were done!!! Notified me that he offered money and buy items often, which I think I took care of with dad. Then two weeks ago he says he does not like her, she watches tv all the time. COMFORT level was reached.

    SO this week a new one, he says is nice.

    I think there needs to be more regulations or checks on the clients. I see how these can go wrong super fast. But what are the choices????

    These have been glorified sitters at a terrible price, that it is hit and miss if they will take advantage of the elderly.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Simplemind's Avatar
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    I hear you BikingLady. I so wanted to keep my promise to dad and have him in the house but I knew I wasn't going to be able to trust somebody and I would be going out, checking all the time and basically spending as much time as if I was doing it myself. My dad was also giving things away and it was a fine line on it being his to give or whether it was abuse. He was being taken advantage of left and right. I was popping Tums like Pez.

  10. #40
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    Yes Dad who worked hard is his, never lending money to anyone, never gifting money. Seems to now have no remembrance of that and the $20s seem to disappear in lumps, Three $800 withdraws in August, yep that Aide was going through a divorce and the sad story each time she came over took that money.. The Comfort Company said to me "It is his money". I gasped, but I only have POA Medical.

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