Introverts, how much social contact can you tolerate?

[ApatheticNoMore]

I get wanting to read a book instead, that's what I think about packing social life on top of hard work/commute schedules, like where do you get time to do stuff YOU personally want to, like read and stuff? I don't know if it's extroversion or introversion (though I've never been called an extrovert in my life) but it is sometimes about keeping a certain level of mental contentment versus slipping toward feeling very discontented with/in the moment. Too much loneliness takes a mental toll but so does too much socializing. Sometimes maintaining this mental balance even needs a feeling of purpose and accomplishing something, like reading a book feels purposeful. So does walking.

[Teacher Terry]

ANM, I think you have s real problem with depression.

[pammy]

I definitely need my 'me' time or I get crabby!! After an hour or so socializing, I'm spent and need some down time. It's getting that I need more 'me' time the older I get, too. Can't wait to get moved into the country when down time is the norm and I can actually look forward to socializing instead of dreading it.

[Gardenarian]

I consider myself very introverted. I get enough social stimulation from my dance group (twice/week, very little chatting) and from casual encounters walking the dog and going to the market and gym.

As for the work factor - sure there are people who work hard all week and socialize all weekend. Takes all sorts. It's when you have very little free time that you see, by your actions, what you really value. After a day at work I just want to be left alone.

I go to parties now and then, but no more than once per month.

I find people exhausting. Like ANM, I prefer reading or walking or working on my own projects, and I don't think that's a sign of depression.

I kind of like crowds - I enjoy the Ren Faire and parades and stuff, but that's impersonal contact.

[Teacher Terry]

ANM, is mostly pessimistic towards most topics and I think depression may be playing a part of this.

[catherine]

I get wanting to read a book instead, that's what I think about packing social life on top of hard work/commute schedules, like where do you get time to do stuff YOU personally want to, like read and stuff?

I was just in a furniture store with my son, and he saw a sign that said, "Go away. I'm reading." He wanted to buy it as a gift for his SIL (my DIL), because she's a huge reader, but he was afraid that he'd hurt her feelings because she is so kind and sweet she would never say that. I told him that that's exactly why she'd love that sign! So she doesn't have to say it, even though she's probably thinking it! Especially since she just had a baby (2 months old)--she is really going to be craving some alone time with her books. I thought it was a perfect gift.


On another note, I just dropped my son off with my husband, down at the lake where they are going boating. They wanted me to come, but what was calling me was the thought of an empty house for 3 hours. So I said, no, I have work to do--thanks anyway! And now I'm all alone--aahhhh!

[ApatheticNoMore]

Well it has to do with mental regulation of a sort. I guess the internet is very mentally regulating in a way and that's why it's easy enough to waste hours surfing the net, well I'm not the only one who has ever done so. But purposeful action like even talking a walk is mentally regulating as well. Just sitting around and talking makes me restless and bored often times, like I want to get up and do something. Or if just being I don't want to waste it listening to pointless group conversation (which again is so boring), I'd rather just be in a nice park lying under a nice tree. But it's quite possible a lot of people feel that way and do it anyway like brushing your teeth or going to the gym because it's good for you. So a couple hours is enough, but I get dragged into the marathon sessions sometimes (then the topic is always politics or something ).

Depressed well I probably am somewhat anyway, a little dysthymic to begin with, and well everyone knows my situation, long job search (and I'm not unemployed *because* I'm depressed - anyone who thinks that is simply dumb). However it does bring one down. And no I don't like work much when I have it. I do however need an income.

[JaneV2.0]

I used to love bars because sitting for hours and talking suited me very well. Now I'm nearly feral, and exchanging pleasantries with various checkout clerks meets my face to face social needs.

[Yppej]

Long job searches are tough. A coworker was telling me today she is thinking of quitting and going back to assembly work. She says her friends still doing that make $20 to $25 per hour, plus overtime, with benefits, choice of seated or standing work. She said her MBA was a waste of money as her search for a job commensurate with her degree has gone nowhere. ANM, maybe something to consider?