I must have been naive, but I never even considered a man's income. I was attracted to men who had a passion for something (and still am). And many times it takes a lot of fortitude and ambition to make our passions happen which is also an attractive trait.
I never thought my beloved had a passion for anything, until I realized his passion is people.
It never occurred to me that was a thing; the idea is foreign to me.
All of thatbis true, and well said.
Its not that I focused on how much anyne made, but I will admit to prioitizing any potenial mate trait included being sensible about money. And as it turns out, I got someone who is extremely frugal, a good thing in the long run for me.
When you truly deeply love someone I don't see how you can not love everyone who is a part of them. I was the one who insisted, over my last boyfriend's concerns about the cost, in traveling to see his family, helped him out with child support payments when he was unemployed, and said if his adult daughter and her kids needed a place to stay we would just rent a UHaul and go pick her up. He himself was "dad" to 4 children of ex-girlfriends whose biological fathers were not in the picture even after his relationships with their mothers ended. With him it was always my son or daughter, no qualifiers, and I have also heard others talk about not using the term step, because that implies a lesser degree of kinship.
I'm sure it is cheaper to not adopt a big tent approach to family, but it is so satisfying, the opposite of loneliness. At the present time I am working to maintain long distance relationships with my late ex-husband's siblings, aunts to my son.
You can't take it with you. Just this morning I was reading Ecclesiastes 5 on that.
Plenty of people have helped me out or "rescued" me when I needed help. If you cast your bread upon waters, after many days it will come to you. What comes around goes around. Have a penny give a penny, need a penny take a penny. It's not just me, it's imbued in the best of our culture, as opposed to say geisha culture where a man is only interested in a woman for sex and clever conversation, and certainly won't get involved in the lives of children she had with other men.
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