You raise great questions, Cathy. You rose above being raised by a nasty father (by your description). I often wonder about Trump's father. Interesting dynamic with the two sons--one becomes a narcissist/meglomaniac and the other dies an alcoholic.
There was a quote that I've always loved that I thought Will Rogers said: "I can't hate anyone I know" But I just tried to find it online and the quote is actually "I never met a man I didn't like." Kind of the same thing.
But the closest I found to the quote I'm thinking of is by Margaret J. Wheatley: "You can't hate anyone whose story you know." I think that's true.
I don't hate Donald Trump but he bugs the heck out of me, and makes me shake my head in bewilderment. I do hate his policies, however, particularly the ones that are hostile to the environment--and there are so many of them.