What have your kids taught you?

[razz]

Recently I was struggling with an issue and couldn't make sense of what was going on. I talked to my daughters who are in their early 40's and was amazed with both their understanding and perceptions about me. The questions that they asked were careful, loving and very probing making me really think. I now know that I need boundaries, maybe more than some, so that I have realistic expectations that I can hope to meet. If the situation is vague or the issue ill-defined or volunteer position disorganized, I get very frustrated and try to organize which may not be the wisest response. I learned a lot from my kids and was pleased and amused at the switch in roles from parent/teacher to learner.
I have wondered when the switch took place? Have your kids taught you as well and what did you learn?

[catherine]

My kids have taught me how to be assertive in the best way. I'm amazed at how they express their needs and issues with each other and to each other and to us. I tend to be passive-aggressive, and I'm often totally clueless how to express my feelings, but they do it with such understanding and love of the person they are talking with and such honesty, I am just flummoxed at where they learned it! And I'm equally impressed at how receptive they are to each other to hearing the complaints and issues. I am definitely learning from them.

Nice topic!

[Jilly]

I have learned that assertive stuff, too, Catherine, from my daughter. I have also learned that you can really mess up and there are people on the planet who will still love and support you.

[Blackdog Lin]

Nothing directly, but indirectly, simply from life with children happening.....

I learned patience, and that nothing (this side of death, anyway) is forever. Life is change. And change happens.

[iris lily]

This is really a nice thread, razz.

[mtnlaurel]

1) That I am capable of real, meaningful change
2) That Southern Figurative Sayings have no meaning to people just learning English

[rodeosweetheart]

That life changes very fast, that love outlasts everything.
That your time "in charge" is actually very limited, that how much you can impact their lives and development is limited, that outcomes are out your hands.
That love outlasts everything.

[Lainey]

Surprisingly to me, the birth of my son taught me that I could potentially kill someone. Meaning before I even left the maternity ward, those protective hormones kicked in big time and I realized that if anyone tried to hurt him, I could have no problem killing that person with my bare hands.

Like Blackdog Lin, I also learned patience. I had thought of myself as a patient person when I was child-free, but boy, even the most normally rambunctious kid will really push you to your limits and then some.

Also taught me that teenage craziness is temporary and if you can get past that, you'll have wonderful adult companions.

[Float On]

That siblings can be friends.
Seriously, my boys get along so well. I can remember 1 real disagreement they had (can't even call it a fight). They were 4 & 5. Things were a little too quiet so I went looking for them and found them in their room, each on his own bed looking the opposite directions. I asked what was up. They replied 'we can't agree on something so we're taking a little private time and we'll talk about it later'. I left laughing to myself and called my mom. So opposite from me and my brother - we fought like crazy, never got along and had our mother in tears almost daily. I feel so blessed.

[catherine]

That life changes very fast, that love outlasts everything.
That your time "in charge" is actually very limited, that how much you can impact their lives and development is limited, that outcomes are out your hands.
That love outlasts everything.

Beautiful.

[Gardenarian]

My daughter is an old soul; I feel like I have learned a great deal about acceptance and creativity from her.
Also, being a mother put me a position to confront some fears - and overcome them - for the sake of my daughter.

I was told that once I had kids I would understand my parents better. Not so; I can't understand how anyone could have a child and not be concerned with their health, happiness, and success.
I'll never understand my parents.

[Yarrow]

My kids have taught me patience, courage, and unconditional love, of course! :)

[mamalatte]

My young kids are currently trying to teach me how to play more, like play soccer or make blanket forts or sand castles or whatever they are doing. My comfort zone (and the kind of thing my parents did with me growing up) is more things like reading a book together or talking or playing a board game or card game or something. So, I'm trying to branch out! In addition to not being that used to "playing" as an adult, my other problem is that I always feel like I have at least one thousand other things to do either for work or around the house. I am trying to learn to take the time to play instead. The dirty dishes will always be there but these childhood years are already slipping by so quickly. :)