Going through another funky time..........

[CathyA]

I'm getting really weary being CathyA. I have had funky things happen ever since I was a little kid. As I got older, I had tons of tests for various things and everything is always normal.
I developed Fibromyalgia in my 40s, had a hellish perimenopause and now there are still more things going on.

A couple weeks ago I was taking things out to our recycling bin, DS was coming for a visit....which I was looking forward to......then BAM, a run of irregular heartbeats (which isn't unusual for me), then my heart rate went to 120-130. It just wouldn't come down. Of course, this threw me into a panic. We went to the ER and the EKG, Chest xray, labs, including cardiac enzymes were all normal. Before we left for the ER, I did take another beta blocker, so my heart rate did come down.

The next few days I was so very weak, with only a little nausea. I then remembered that I do get a really fast heartrate right before I have symptoms of a viral illness. So maybe this was a viral illness with very few symptoms.
My DH drew more labs last week, and my liver, thyroid, CBC, etc. were all normal. And I don't have a UTI. (Older people can get weird symptoms with a UTI).

It's been a couple weeks and I still feel like poop. I do try to be productive during the day........but it always feels like gravity is just too much for me.

My osteo arthritis has increased markedly recently, my fingers are getting more bent, my nails are developing these huge horizontal grooves, and I have lots of tingling everywhere.

Yes, I'll see the doc in a couple weeks........but he'll say there's nothing wrong.
When I'm feeling good, I do all sorts of interesting things and enjoy life.......so I really can't believe I'm a hypochondriac. I'm taking calcium/magnesium, D3, B complex.

I've had every test in the book and have seen dozens of doctors in my life.......so I'm not real interested on going on another wild goose chase. It is very depressing though, to have episodes that happen out of the blue and knock me down for awhile.

Anyone ever heard of mitochondrial disorders?
Anyone ever have normal thyroid tests, but still felt like they weren't doing well at that level?

I'm trying to get my notes in order for the doc visit.
I'm open to Panic Disorder and Anxiety Disorder..........but why would I feel so good at times? .....even when under stress. Then I seem to have panic with no stress. I really feel that I panic AFTER I get these other funky symptoms.

I truly believe that there's something funky about my system, but I doubt it will ever be discovered in my lifetime...........which makes me even more sad.

Please don't tell me to rush to the doctor's. I've seen my share of really bad ones and I'm not eager to go. I do like the one I have now, but often, these bad symptoms eventually subside, so I don't want to go until I'm sure they're not going to leave.

I do have IBS and GERD, and often I have delayed gastic emptying, so this time it may be a problem of not absorbing my meds/supplements. But who the hell knows??? :(
I'm just so danged tired of being me.

[Float On]

Panic and Anxiety have no rhyme or reason. That's why most of those 'disorders' are called 'attacks'.
How are you on a mental/spiritual level? I think there can be physical manifestations of mental or spiritual uncertainties.
I probably should of stayed on blood pressure meds but I feel much better off them, same with metformin for PCOS. Most meds give me hives so I'd just rather not.
Also...could your med's, supplements/vitamins, and anything else be reacting to each other or overdosing you?

[Gardenarian]

I'm so sorry your feeling bad. I have muddled through with poor health all my life and it sucks and most people have no idea what you are going through.

I don't know how you feel about tranquilizers, but they can really help with the panic and anxiety. Many people I know use Klonopin for panic attacks, or lorazepam for anxiety. Yes, these drugs can be addictive, but most people have no trouble with them. They don't stay in your body for a long time. I think anti-depressants are over-prescribed, and no one really knows what the long term effects of them will be (or if they are even effective.) Tranquilizers can really help with pain, as well.

I don't know how much magnesium you are taking, but you might want to increase the dose. Most people, even those taking supplements, don't get enough. Most people have water that is treated and there is no magnesium in it (this used to be people's main source of the mineral.) Even eating foods that are supposedly high in magnesium doesn't help, as our soil has been depleted.

FMS and chronic fatigue often go together.

Those horizontal nail lines are not normal. Have you had a full work-up for bacterial diseases?

As for mitochondrial diseases - most have no treatment, so doctors are reluctant to event test for them.

I was sick all through my childhood and 20s but finally was diagnosed with a very treatable condition (epilepsy.) Unfortunately the stress my body went through during my early years did permanent damage to my constitution and I've rarely felt 100% - or even 80% - well.

I have more or less given up on doctors, and hope that living the healthiest way I can will bring me to a place where I at least feel sort of at peace with my body. Yoga helps me a lot, but you have to practice regularly, at least every other day. Walking helps me keep my balance too. Massage is wonderful if you can afford it. All the other stuff - sleeping regular hours, eating fresh whole foods, lots of protein, lots of fiber, lots of time exercising outdoors - I try to keep it up. It helps.

But - everything comes tumbling down when I get sick, or as in this winter, am recovering from a broken foot/surgery. Now I just ache all over, my digestion is shot, and I am very grumpy - despite trying to practice gratitude and mindfulness and meditation. Oh, well.

Not much advise, but a little company for your misery.

[Teacher Terry]

Float on everyone feels better not taking high BP meds. They make you tired, etc. However, the alternative is that you could have a stroke. I have had clients that went off their meds, had strokes and then regretted that decision.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Also if your having anxiety try to avoid caffeine or taper off (really though it has more of an effect than you know). Some people say it is possible to have normal thyroid tests and still have thyroid problems.

[CathyA]

Thanks everyone! I was afraid someone would call me crazy. !Splat!

I am on the smallest dose of sertraline (zoloft) and Metoprolol (Toprol). Everyone says that's not enough to do anything, but several years ago, it gave me my life back. My sympathetic system has always been on over-drive.

I think docs always start people way too high on meds and then people have terrible side-effects and then quit. I have a long, long, history of depression. I was in a state mental institution when I was 16. I think my family caused alot of my problems, but I also think I had strange, unexplainable symptoms back then, and they didn't know how to respond to them. So I'm very aware of my tendancy towards depression and anxiety.

I've been able to live a life (most recently) that is pretty unstressful. My husband is great, and my kids are wonderful (in their 20's).
I have a very healthy connection with nature.
I would almost say I have an eating disorder. I am hungry all the time and when I want something (including caffeine), I just HAVE to have it. I know that the caffeine can make anxiety worse........but I don't drink that much, and it gives me some energy, so I'm very afraid to stop it. (My mother said when I was an infant, that she would only feed me every 4 hours, and if I cried for 3 hours, too bad......so I'm sure that had some effect on my eating.)

About my BP medicine........when I was going through perimenopause, my blood pressure was very high and that's why I went on it. I didn't like it because it made me sooooooooo stupid. Seriously! But it definitely helped my BP and my heartrate......which would go crazy with the smallest of stresses. Once my BP was under control, I went down on the medication, and it's been doing a good job.........until recently when I had this last episode and my heart rate went crazy. BUT........my whole life (since I was probably 9), I have had spells of feeling like I was going to pass out, and like I was suddenly in a different reality, covered in glass. Well, the BP medicine cleared all that up. I'm sooooooooo thankful for that. And I would rather feel stupid, than have those episodes.

Those episodes, in retrospect, could have been migraine variations or even panic attacks. (I had panic attacks in the first grade).

I'm rambling..........

The times that I've had the worse "panic attacks"........I felt sick for weeks afterwards. That doesn't seem to make sense to me.

I sure wish I could have routine I.V.s of magnesium. Because of my IBS and GERD, I think the oral forms aren't absorbed very well. I do know how important magnesium is to alot of things.

I've seen therapists in my life, and I'm weary of them too.

I'm just too perceptive of everything that goes on in my body. I think that theory about Fibromyalgia has some merit........that our pain perception area in our brain is malfunctioning.

I'm sorry if I'm jumping all over the place. My mentation has deteriorated too.......probably from all those cat scans I had to find out why I was feeling so bad!

I do appreciate everyone's replies! It makes me feel very vulnerable to be saying these things on the world-wide-web.......but the rewards are usually worth it! :)

[JaneV2.0]

You could look into Terry Wahls, MD and her latest book The Wahl's Protocol. If you follow her plan--designed to revive your mitochondria--you'll be so busy planning, chopping, and counting you'll be far too busy to do anything else, including worrying. I think she's onto something, but her protocol might be daunting to anyone who isn't desperate.

[rodeosweetheart]

Cathy, this is probably not "it" but your symptoms might be food allergies, specifically gluten--have you ever tried that? Gluten can make some people depressed, heart pounding, muscle pain, and definitely IBS. (Spoken as someone with IBS and some other gluten-sensitivity symptoms.)

IT woudl be easy (ha!) to try it for a month.

[CathyA]

Thanks Jane, I'll look into that book.

Gardenarian.........did your entire body react to your foot surgery, or do you think it was already heading in that direction?
When I had knee surgery (meniscus repair), it was really bad for several months. Most people don't have any problems. I think my ortho doc had a wife with fibromyalgia, and so he was much more aware of what can happen. He said that he'd had patients whose fibro flared up whenever their knees flared up. It was comforting to actually hear a doc understand that.
I have to think twice about having anything done, as my entire body seems to react negatively to it.

I do have some xanax.....but they are several years expired! And whenever I take one, I wonder what might happen! I only take a quarter of a mg at a time, for sleep.....maybe once a month. When I go see the doc, I'll ask for some fresher ones. They're not allowed to prescribe them any more, without seeing the patient.
Since I seem to get sick for awhile after these supposed panic attacks, it makes me wonder if it's really a panic attack.

But Float On..........you're right about them making no sense at all, when they happen. Sometimes I think it's something funky, physiologically, that happens and maybe our pH gets out of whack. I can understand certain anxious people freaking out in a very stressful situation, but many times it happens to people total out of the blue, who aren't being stressed. And you're right about not necessarily wanting to take a med that makes you feel bad.
When I was younger, and an R.N., it would irritate me when people (especially older people) wouldn't take their meds. But now that I'm older and have experienced more side-effects from meds, I can totally understand. It's a quality of life issue. And who wants to live to be a hundred if they feel like poop the whole time?

About panic attacks..........or whatever those spells were when I was little........one happened at a birthday party and I was sitting on the porch talking to a friend. Another one happened when I was laughing with my family about something funny. I do still wonder about some of these episodes as being a migraine variant. It's even possible that it's very small seizure.

I'm not very patient when I feel like my level of consciousness has been altered.

[Spartana]

Cathy - I think I asked you this before but have you been tested for any auto immune diseases? A lot of your symptoms can be attributed to one or them - but then there are so many that pretty much any symptom can be attributed to an auto immune disorder. But it might be worth checking out. Especially since you have fibromyalgia (an auto immune disease) and many people who have one often have another. There are some thyroid autoimmune diseases too that don't always show up on the regular thyroid screening tests like TSH. I was recently diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and it can take months (even years) of tests to narrow things down and get a diagnoses. Partially because the symptoms come and go. It was a pretty quick diagnoses for me though but still took months.

[CathyA]

Thanks rodeosweetheart and Spartana.

Yes, giving up gluten is pretty easy. NOT! haha. I did try it awhile back and felt pretty good.......but I think it was because it caused me to eat alot less carbs overall. I do eat meat and lots of veggies.........but my slow digestion can rare its ugly head with some veggies.

My recent TSH was normal. But I will talk to the doc about other possibilities of thyroid and immune problems.

One thing that seems strange to me, is that I've been in menopause for 9 years now, yet my FSH is barely higher than it was my first year after menopause. My OB/GYN says that's not a problem. But I've been reading that a low FSH in menopause can signal a pituitary problem. So I'll ask my Internal Medicine doc about that too......although I don't think he knows much about female things. Our FSH is supposed to constantly climb higher and higher after menopause. Mine is actually a little lower than it was last year.

Spartana.........Every year I have labs drawn that show inflammation and they're always normal. I'm thinking those would be up if I had an immune problem. Maybe my thinking is wrong.

[Teacher Terry]

Many times panic attacks just come out of the blue for no reason. Some anti-depressants in low doses are great at controlling them such as Effexor. You might want to talk to your doc about this because maybe the zoloft is not controlling them. I would get more Xanax because that med is great for relieving an attack. Good luck with all of this>8)

[Spartana]

Spartana.........Every year I have labs drawn that show inflammation and they're always normal. I'm thinking those would be up if I had an immune problem. Maybe my thinking is wrong.

I don't know much about autoimmune diseases but I don't think all of them cause inflammation - just some of them. Or something you think you have (say your fibromyalgia which I'm guessing there is a test for) may end up being something totally different. For instance my "liver" enzymes were highly elevated but it ended up it was actually inflammation in my muscles caused by an autoimmune disease and my liver was fine (ah yes, bring on the booze :-)!).

[Gardenarian]

Hi CathyA -
it's kind of a snowball effect with my foot. I can't walk very much and, when I do walk, I have a limp. The limping has thrown my back out (major spasms) and I need to take NSAIDS for the pain, which really irritate my ears (tinnitus and hyperacusis.) Because I'm getting so little exercise, my appetite and digestion are poor (and the NSAIDS aren't good for my belly either.) Can't do yoga (foot), can only write/type for short periods (due to back/shoulder pain), can't hike - so all my usual stress busters are GONE, and of course there is no decrease in the amount of stress from work, homeschooling, housekeeping, and so on. I am trying modified yoga with some success.

I'm SO looking forward to this summer when my foot should be in working order and I will be off work!

With the tranquilizers - what I was thinking is that there is a fast-acting form on Klonopin that you can take when you feel a panic attack coming on, or have a lot of anxiety. And of course they help with sleep, if that is a problem. My neighbor has fibro and can't sleep without them.

I was on a very low dose of Zoloft for pain control (I have interstitial cystitis) and found that it made me extremely fatigued. It took me a while to figure that out, because the fatigue didn't start when I began the Zoloft. When I went off it I felt so much better! And it really wasn't helping my pain - but everyone's different.

[CathyA]

I'm sorry for your troubles, Gardenarian. I totally understand the foot problem. I had foot surgery once, and the limping really messed other things up. Do you have a good physical therapist?

Be careful with those NSAIDS. I think that's what ruined my GI tract.

I hope you can get back into full health again. It's really hard when you can't do those things that really help your mental attitude.

For me, it's my golf cart. It's really allowed me to get around our property and enjoy nature, even though my feet and knees can't walk alot anymore without alot of pain. But right now, it's in the cart hospital, getting fixed.
It's getting a break from me now. haha

[Teacher Terry]

Xanox is also fast acting if you are having a panic attack. YOu would have to research and talk to your doc but might be a better choice then klonopin.

[CathyA]

I have an appointment with my doc on Monday. The more I read about various disorders, it seems apparent that I have General Anxiety Disorder, Somatization Disorder, Panic Disorder, Burlap-rickety-poopus Disorder. hahaha I'm just a ball of all these rolled into one!
It's such a bummer to have things happen in my body and mind that I just can't control. In retrospect, I've had these problems my entire life. I have good months/years, then BAM, it happens again.
I think I would be fine if I never had to go anywhere I didn't want to go, or have any need for doctors, or need anything fixed or serviced. In other words.........if life were perfect. :~)

And my mind is such a mess these days. It's hard for me to remember just about everything. I thought of typing a "speech" for my doctor visit, to keep me on tract. I would read it to him, then we would talk. That seems to work for me. I guess at this point, I just want to rule out anything physical that's making the anxiety worse. My appointment is late in the afternoon. I hope he doesn't fall asleep.

And I'm wondering if my small dose of Zoloft just quit working. I can't go up on it because it gives me real GI problems. Anyone else have the experience of their antidepressant stop working? I used to be disappointed in myself for needing to take medicine to make it through life..........but at this age, I'm just thankful there are drugs that can make our lives liveable.

At least my golf cart was returned today, from over 2 weeks at the spa. :) It's always been good medicine for me.

[Teacher Terry]

Any rx can quit working over time. This happens to me with my BP meds. I can tell because it gets high. This used to happen to my Mom too. YOur body unfortunately just gets used to the med. Good luck at the doc:)

[Gardenarian]

Hi CathyA - how did it go at the docs's?

[CathyA]

Hi Gardenarian........Thanks for asking!

He wants me to see a neuropsychologist to make sure my memory losses aren't anything organic. Then he wants me to see a rheumatologist for my arthritis.
He refilled my xanax......so now I don't have to take 3 year old stuff. haha
I see the neuropsychologist this week. He didn't want to make any changes in my meds, until we sort this other stuff out. But I am feeling a bit better. We had nice sunshine yesterday, which always helps.

Thanks again for asking Gardenarian!
P.S....I did buy some rosemary and broccoli plants today. That helps too!

[Gardenarian]

Oh, referrals. I hope you get a clear idea of what is going on soon.
A trip to the plant nursery always cheers me up, too!