My tax accountant completely lost it!

[Rachel]

Hello friends,

Can someone give me some insight on this?
I have gone to the same tax account (CPA) for 19 years. He does a meticulous job with filling out all my tax forms. When I had cancer he actually took the trouble to send me a get well card---which I did not expect, but appreciated. I've always been courteous to him and have paid him fully and immediately upon receipt of the completed work. One year he made an error and he corrected it and paid the IRS penalty. (It was a small error and a small penalty.) When I go in to sign the forms he goes over them meticulously. I've noticed over the years that if I ask a question he usually seems irritated, but I have never had any "incidents" with him. I am always courteous to him, why wouldn't I be?

This year I had two questions for him--and I sent him a letter with all my tax materials ahead of time telling him what the questions would be.
(1) Could he please look at all my sources of income and help me estimate a withholding that will result in a smaller refund.
(2) Could he please look at all my sources of income and tell me whether I am allowed to buy a Roth IRA this year?

When I went in to pick up my forms and sign them, I asked him the second question first. He gave me a sort of formula answer that I didn't quite understand so I tried to ask a clarifying question.

He exploded! He slammed his finger down on a tax table and said in a furious tone of voice: "WHAT did I just TELL you?!"

I was dumbfounded. I said "Are you angry with me?"

He just glared at me. I suddenly actually felt AFRAID.

Finally he said, "THIS is NOT the time!"

I said very well, paid him, and got the heck out of there. He has a small office and his secretary had left for the day. When I was right at the door I turned around and said "Mr. ______, I've been doing business with you for a long time. I've always trusted you and counted on you. I told you in my letter that I would have some questions and you could have alerted me ahead of time that you would not be able to discuss these questions at this meeting. I don't deserve to be scolded in this mean way." I took care to look at the floor rather than directly at him while I was saying this---angry people can get feel very threatened if someone looks them in the eye and I was already probably taking a risk just saying what I said. Anyway, after I said that I scrammed.

I realize that my questions about taxes are probably stupid and I also realize that tax season is a very high stress time for tax people. I would really appreciate any insight on this that you guys might provide--esp. anyone who is a himself or herself a tax accountant, although I realize those folks probably don't have time to be online any time between now and April 14th.

The whole episode was so strange. I feel bad about it.

[Kestra]

Wow. I don't care how busy they are but if you are paying them they should answer your questions normally and politely. Especially those question which seem very basic and pertinent. I think you did the right thing by saying something right then. Don't think I would have had the guts - would have been too shocked. But I don't think there's any more to do. Leave him be, if you have what you need done for this year and find a new tax person next year.

[fidgiegirl]

This is too bad. I'd be looking for a new accountant next year myself. :( It's always sad to have to give up a longtime relationship but you must need to feel safe.

[catherine]

Geez.. that was uncalled for. I'm sure tax accountants are pretty stressed out this time of year, but still--you don't take it out on your clients! Especially clients who are long-standing and who have good questions (NOT stupid questions, at least IMHO). You are paying him and have a right to get the answers to your questions.

I'd get another accountant.

I have had an accountant for only 3 years--the years that we had the house from my MIL that was such a burden. Because it was jointly owned, and we rented part of the time, I thought I should go to a CPA. My tax burden was the highest it's ever been (I'm sure this was not his fault, but... ).

Last year I noticed he did not deduct property taxes etc from the 2nd house. I looked up on a number of sites, and from what I could figure out, I was entitled to that rather sizeable deduction. So I emailed him with my question. He got back to me a few days later with something about taking depreciation this year vs. doing it next year blah blah blah. Nothing I could understand, but it left me wondering if he was engaging in double-speak because he didn't want me to know it was his oversight. He redid my taxes with the property taxes/mortgage interest taken as a deduction.

We no longer have the house, and I think I'm just going to muddle through doing my own taxes again. I've already done all the TurboTax inputting and I just have to check it. He wrote and asked if I'm bringing him stuff, and I don't know.. I can still send him my paperwork and he'll file an extension, as always.

[CathyA]

I would be extremely angry with him. I would never go back to him. He's no doubt displacing his anger/frustration with the rest of his life on to you.
I would most definitely find a new accountant. And I, personally, would write him a letter, saying how totally inappropriate and misplaced his anger was.
So sorry this happened to you!

[Sad Eyed Lady]

I have worked for over 20 years with CPA's and I have never worked with one that acted like that. Tax season is highly stressful, it could be that he just can't handle anything that adds to the stress, (questions), or it is another matter entirely, (personal things going on that the stress of tax season makes worse), but whatever the cause he had no right to talk to you like that and you certainly don't have to continue with him. The ones I have worked for seem to always but the client first, after all they are the ones who are paying their salary, and do the best job for them they can. Part of that best job is conducting through and polite interviews, answering questions and making sure everything is clear. There is no such thing as a dumb question - that is part of what you are paying him for, his understanding of issues that you don't have. Go elsewhere next year!

[awakenedsoul]

I've experienced this with people, too. It's displaced anger, or rage. It's good that you said something right away. I've known a lot of teachers who blow up at students this way. They just lose it and vent. Frustrated mothers act this way a lot. I don't think your questions were stupid at all. Try not to doubt yourself. I've left work situations where the owners acted this way. I told them why, too. (in a letter.) It sounds like a pattern of abuse.

You deserve to be treated with respect.

[RoseFI]

Rachel, your questions were entirely valid, you were very brave and spot-on appropriate to speak as you did before leaving, and if the CPA does not send you-- on his initiative -- an apology and explanation, you should drop him like a hot potato. In my experience, these days people are taking all sorts of medications that lead to irrational or explosive rage if the dose isn't right: therapeutic steroids, anti-depressants, hormones (don't get me started on this stupid new trend of testosterone "therapy" to pathologize natural aging.) And I don't know how old he is, but there's also the symptoms of dementia, there's PTSD, etc. He might have an compassion-inspiring explanation, but it's his to offer up (eta: you gave him clear notice that it was unacceptable behavior) -- and if he doesn't, then I think it's fair to assume that his erratic behavior will likely continue and you should not expose yourself to it.

[KayLR]

If he does not apologize, explain himself, (and maybe even then) definitely I would never darken his door again. There are plenty of professionals out there who would be glad to have your business. You were very brave and I'm glad you said what you did. I'm not sure I would have had the composure. I would have been too shocked and afraid!

[gimmethesimplelife]

I am going to echo all the other posters who recommend seeking different tax help next year. Given that that tax code is a nightmare of complexity in the United States and seems to become more complex every year - questions such as yours are definitely legit in my book. Furthermore, I'm sure you are paying this tax person good money to keep you in the IRS's good graces - to fill out your taxes competently and maximize any potential refunds while complying with tax code. You deserve at rock bottom to be treated neutrally.

I also believe you handled this situation with a great deal of dignity and class. Kudos to you. Rob

[Rachel]

Thank you everyone for the compassion and support. This episode was shocking to me. I certainly won't go back to him---I have all my forms from him and am done for this year anyway. It must be terrible to have so much anger inside. Thank you everyone.

[awakenedsoul]

Thank you everyone for the compassion and support. This episode was shocking to me. I certainly won't go back to him---I have all my forms from him and am done for this year anyway. It must be terrible to have so much anger inside. Thank you everyone.

That's true. He will remember and know why you left, too. With some people, this kind of behavior gets worse as they get older. I hope you find a more balanced accountant.

[Blackdog Lin]

Of course I agree that there's no way you should continue an association with an accountant that this sort of thing happened with.....

.....but I am so impressed that you called him on it! In an appropriate and non-threatening way! What presence of mind you had, what verbal skills. Seriously. I am the type to always slink out of situations, then think of what I should have said, or how I should have reacted.....45 minutes later.

[awakenedsoul]

.....but I am so impressed that you called him on it! In an appropriate and non-threatening way! What presence of mind you had, what verbal skills. Seriously. I am the type to always slink out of situations, then think of what I should have said, or how I should have reacted.....45 minutes later.

That impressed me, too. Another technique I've heard to use with verbal abusers is to ask, "Could you repeat that?"

A ballet teacher I had when I was young asked one of her obnoxious teen age students, (me.) "This antagonism...Do you always talk to people this way? It's normal for you?" I never forgot that and she taught me a lesson. (She was an excellent ballet teacher, too.)

[ToomuchStuff]

I have no issue with not going to him again, but I do see failings on BOTH sides. This close to the last tax day, they are under a lot of stress. (cpa friend, used to borrow a cot I had and sleep on it for the last three weeks in his office) So I expect time played a part.
By your response here, I think you should have started the second response to him, with "I don't (think I) understand" This would have also given him an opportunity to explain (if the issue) about lack of time.
Something else came to mind when I first read this, was he could have been trying to give you the formula, due to you being borderline on something (the ability to figure it yourself, if something changes, or you haven't provided him with all your info, aka you forgot something).

Just another viewpoint.

[Float On]

Wow. That's not acceptable behavior at all.
Love my accountant, he makes sure he doesn't take on too much. If a client leaves then he replaces them. I was in there the other morning and he had time to chat with me for an hour, not only about my taxes but about other things as well.

[lhamo]

I agree that his behavior is not acceptable, but there might be a reason behind it -- death in the family, pending divorce, or even a medical issue (some medical conditions, especially things related to the brain, result in personality changes).

Probably best/easiest to just walk away, but might be worth calling up his secretary to let her know what happened and ask if she's seen anything different in his behavior lately. If nothing else, she might be able to raise it with his family members, if she has noticed similar things. Or start looking for another job.

[profnot]

OP - I think you handled it perfectly. If he calls you within a month to apologize and completely own his outrageous behavior, then I'd probably keep him.

I once had a secretary hugely blow up at me. I was shocked but didn't say anything - I just waited to see what was next. After a bit of silence, she said she just found out her father was dying and would be gone soon.

Perhaps your accountant had a shock in addition to tax time.

Or perhaps he is jerk and his secretary runs interference with the clients for him so you hadn't seen that side of him. I used to do that for a jerk boss for years.

[reader99]

That's true. He will remember and know why you left, too. With some people, this kind of behavior gets worse as they get older. I hope you find a more balanced accountant.


Balanced accountant...get it? ;)

[awakenedsoul]

I didn't get it until you pointed it out! (I would have totally missed it.)
A friend of mine told me, "You know, a lot of people are bi-polar now." I think he's right.

[Reyes]

19 good years and 1 bad interaction, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt

[creaker]

19 good years and 1 bad interaction, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt

Some people don't play well with others, although they can be very good at their job. I wonder if he felt threatened being presented with a question he did not have a clear answer for? Some people can't deal with having to answer "I don't know".

[Yarrow]

Possibly he has someone very sick or dying in his family, etc. Some extreme stress, maybe that he is living with. Or maybe he, himself, is very sick and keeping it to himself. Since he was so nice to you when you had cancer, and has been a great accountant for so many years, maybe just maybe you need to inquire as to his well being.....just a thought. A conversation might be in order here...

[Simplemind]

A little over a year ago I had a similar experience with my doctor. I walked out very angry and haven't been back. However, he was a great doctor until that one day and I can't help but believe something was wrong. I didn't write to him nor did I say anything when I walked out. I have made another appointment with him and I'm sure the first thing he is going to ask is why I have been gone so long and then I am going to ask him what he remembers about our last appointment and I will tell him what I remember. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and if we still don't see eye to eye, that will be my last appointment. I hate question marks hanging in my life and prefer to make an effort instead of an assumption. I'll give a second chance but not a third.