Frugal funerals

[bae]

We buried a good friend this morning. Years before his time.

He wasn't feeling well this winter, went in to the doctor, was diagnosed with some pretty horrible and fast-acting things.

He elected to come back to the island, continue working as long as he could, and then go into hospice with neighbors when it got to be time.

He designed his own coffin, which had a window in it so he could "see where he was going". Wood milled from trees from his land was used to build the coffin, and several local craftsmen donated their time to build the box.

He laid out his favorite finery for his final trip, for he was a stylish gent.

He passed last night, word was quietly circulated, a bunch of us stayed up all night digging his grave, and we laid him to rest this morning in a misty remote secret place of his choosing, between two of his mentors, within the time period allowed by our state's law to avoid unnecessary and expensive complications. About 60 people spontaneously showed up to help this morning, from all corners of the community, walking to the site in 2s and 3s through half a dozen trails through the fog. A few words were said, some memories shared, and a party for later planned.

Aloha.

[nswef]

What a great way to go!!

[Tradd]

Thank you for sharing, Bae. That's lovely.

[Sad Eyed Lady]

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing this.

[Mary B.]

A lovely ending. Condolences on the loss of your friend, bae. He sounds like someone who will be much missed.

[Blackdog Lin]

Echoing the condolences, and the thank you for sharing the lovely story.

[razz]

That is lovely to read especially about using his own trees for the coffin and the quiet community support for his final journey.

I have preplanned for mine to be similar in simplicity and the DD's were party to the planning. Takes the burden off everyone when the plans are that simple and is the final gift that your friend gave and you all were able to follow.

[rosarugosa]

Simple and classy.

[frugal-one]

Thanks for sharing and sending my condolences.

[catherine]

So sorry about your friend, but he certainly planned a wonderful exit.

[Simplemind]

We had just finished watching "A Family Undertaking" which was a POV program. I opened this and read your lovely post which follows that programs theme. I am sorry for the loss of your friend. He was obviously a loved and respected member of your small community. Planned, peaceful and personal. Although death came much too early for your dear friend, he was a fortunate to have the deep friendships that ushered him along in the way he wished. No doubt every step touched you all in a deeply spiritual way.

[Lainey]

Very elegant. Sounds like he faced the end bravely and made the decisions he could to control his final exit. Thanks for posting.

[ToomuchStuff]

Sorry for your loss.

I admire him from a far, for being able to face it going out prepared and the way he wanted. Too many people are afraid to face their own mortality.

[pony mom]

A British actress (Wendy Richards, from Are You Being Served), chose to be buried in a coffen made of wicker. She didn't want trees to be used for a wooden one.

Sounds like a lovely sendoff for your friend. It's nice when the person has the funeral they choose.

[Gardenarian]

I'm so sorry that you have lost a friend, and at such a young age.

I think it's wonderful that he was able to choose his own secret spot - in so many places burial in highly regulated.
Where I live, cemeteries are purely commercial - you are not even allowed to go in and wander among the graves. I have been trying to get people together to allow a green burial site in our town, but few people are interested. I think it's important to keep the dead somewhat among us.

[ctg492]

Thank you for making a sad story a pleasant one and giving all something to consider. Having just buried my Mother, it was too much and it was not enough if that is possible. I have always taken a turn on my bike into old graveyards. Being in a TN currently there seem to be many scattered around. I always read the stones and no matter how small or how big, each person was loved no less by someone.