VERY interesting living situation...

[oceanfamily]

Hi there, so I've been thinking about a situation we are going to be finding ourselves in very shortly.
A little background first; we commercial fish in alaska during the spring/summer. We stay up at my in-laws summer home during this time. My in laws come up for about 3 weeks, usually after we have left. This year is different. My in- laws are going to be up here for about 3 weeks while we are still here and also my son and his new wife will be coming up during this time also. All under the same roof. I'm getting overwhelmed with all the expectations I'm putting on myself and would like to know how others would possibly handle this situation. I already know one of my biggest issues is going to want to be alone and not feeling guilty about it. Has anyone found themselves in a similar situation?

[Rachel]

Hi Ocean, I've had to live in close quarters during various phases of life and so I sympathize with you.
How many rooms are there? Will you have your own bedroom?
Do NOT NOT NOT feel guilty about retreating to a quiet space whenever you need to do so---it is essential for some people's wellbeing to have quiet down time throughout the day, not just in a measly half hour at the end of the day. Make them get used to it and feel good about taking good care of yourself.

[oceanfamily]

Hi Rachel, thank you for your input. It's a big house with 4 bedrooms. It will definitely accommodate everyone, and yes we have our own bedroom. Very thankful for being able to stay in my in laws home. Just very nervous, I'm a very big people pleaser and that usually gets me into trouble.

[OwlGirl]

I think you have to be careful that everyone respects everyone else's space. With you saying you're a big people pleaser I think you also need to make sure you don't try to look after everyone, they're all adults and can take some responsibility themselves. And take time to go fo4r walks, read etc to have some time alone, they probably feel nthe same way too.

Good luck :)

[oceanfamily]

I agree! Thanks for your advice OwlGirl:)

[nswef]

Oh, good luck. My suggestion is to set the boundaries immediately! You get lots of alone time and are NOT responsible for anyone else. If they are all adults, they can pitch in, and even take over...just guard that alone time and alone space diligently. And, have fun too!

[creaker]

Big difference between having guests and sharing living space - and this situation sounds more like latter. Guests you're expected to take care of and spend time with and entertain, you would not do that with roommates.

I would want to plan out some fixed activities/dinner/get together time - and then the other times are mine. I don't think it's wrong for someone to say they need their down time/alone time/etc. I think it's actually better to put that out front so people don't get the wrong idea and think you're avoiding them or something's wrong - and if anyone else feels the same way you immediately have an ally who will agree so they can get their own down time.