Dealing with jealousy when you're FI [Archive]

awakenedsoul

7-25-14, 7:51pm

I know a lot of people on this forum have retired early, or are considering retiring early and living on less. I didn't plan to do so, but after the economy tanked, I kind of backed into it. It's been working out really well. I still go to auditions, but there aren't nearly as many jobs for a performer who is almost 50 as there were for a dancer in her 20's and 30's. I train every day, but I'm realistic about the odds.

I've been getting a lot of resentful comments from people who see me as someone who "doesn't work." (I worked for 35 years. I started teaching at 13, and the dance studio booked me fully, because I was enthusiastic and had to pay for my lessons.) Some of them act like I'm on welfare and food stamps. I live very simply, spending around $20,000. a year. (I could spend about $5,000. less if I cut out some luxuries.) I ride my bike and take the bus, grow food, cook and bake from scratch, and hang my laundry.

Some of the people who make comments are from poor countries. ("I WORK.") I don't think they have friends or family who have achieved FI. I didn't do it on my own, I did inherit some money, but I also spend a lot less than most people. Just wondering if anyone else gets this? Some of them seem so resentful. I made a conscious choice not to have children because I couldn't afford them. Also, I don't think it works when you travel throughout your career.

If you get this, how do you respond?

frugal-one

7-25-14, 8:54pm

Yes, people are very resentful that they too are not able to travel etc. I have tried to either ignore it or say we all make choices. One gal who I told about a while ago ... home schooled her child for years and did not work outside the home. Now she expects to have the same as those of us who worked full time all those years. Not gonna happen.

Simplemind

7-25-14, 10:16pm

It took awhile for us to wrap our minds around it. I retired early on purpose and my husband due to disability. All of our friends are still working. I wish I could say that some were jealous but there has been some outright resentment. There is often a put down "Oh I just couldn't retire, I would be so bored". I didn't retire from life, I retired from a specific job. My husband would love that his stroke never happened and would have worked until he was 65 at least. We make the best of both worlds doing what we want when we want. I'm not "lucky", I planned it and I earned it.

awakenedsoul

7-25-14, 10:45pm

Thanks for the responses. I guess envy would be a better word. That's an interesting story, frugal-one. It's true, we make choices, and they affect our financial future. My dad always taught me, "It's not how much you earn, it's how much you save." When I started cutting my expenses, (and staying home,) I reduced my yearly budget by $10,000. a year! It was more cost effective for me to stay home than to keep the business running. (After the economic downturn.)

Simplemind, That's exactly what I feel. Nobody knows what's in store in life. When someone close to you has a stroke, you realize that it could be you. That's great that you were so disciplined with your retirement planning.

My brothers also inherited money. They actually received a lot more, because they all married (my parents gave each couple $10,000. as a wedding present.) They also had fully funded college educations. (Since I wanted to dance, I didn't receive college money. I paid my own way.) But, because of their expenses, my brothers still have to work. They have huge mortgages, private school bills, expensive vacations, etc. (Lots of debt.)

These stories are really helpful. Would love to hear more!

ctg492

7-26-14, 6:28am

What I observed from so called "friends" durning the time my husband at early 40s said he was done and retiring to watch the river flow. It also happened just as the economy was getting ready to tank. Planning and talking about it so much as it seemed like a pipe dream. His associates and friends were on board with the golf day or dinner conversations.then when we sold it all and moved and work ended, it all changed. How, why, they must be rich,they must be crazy, we're talking IMO getting dropped like a lead balloon. Envy was the reason I think. But I summed it up for him from my experience as a sahm, part time work on and off lady. I learned never to tell others I was that. I got a vibe or comments from women that were judgmental over the years.
His time off was a great learning experience all around, what we could do and could not do. I wanted it to work out but it did not. What we learned about "Friends" was priceless.
Should we care what others think? No. Do we? Sadly I think most do.

cdttmm

7-26-14, 8:10am

I get some comments that I could consider to be out of resentment or envy, but I choose to interpret them differently. I figure that most of the people who are commenting are secretly curious as to how I've pulled it off. When asked about what I do, I will often say that I'm busy living a life of leisure or that I'm a beekeeper or that I work, but that I don't have a "real" job (whatever *that* is supposed to mean!). As people get to know me, they eventually learn that I retired at 36, went to grad school (for fun), and that now I teach part-time at a local community college. What they often don't ever fully understand -- because they've only known me in this phase of my life -- is that between the ages 22 and 36, I worked like a maniac. They also don't connect the dots that the fact that I've been partnered to the same person for 20 years, that we skipped the whole extravagant wedding/honeymoon bit, that we chose not to have children, that we drive ordinary cars (and keep them for years), and that we don't take lavish vacations are all primary reasons that we're able to do what we want now. In fairness, most of the people who make comments to me are at least several years younger than I am. It's hard for them to understand how just a few years can make such a huge difference. Of course, if you had asked me at 31 what I thought my life would look like 10 years later, I would have had a hard time accurately predicting the future so I cut them some slack.

ApatheticNoMore

7-26-14, 2:23pm

I get some comments that I could consider to be out of resentment or envy, but I choose to interpret them differently. I figure that most of the people who are commenting are secretly curious as to how I've pulled it off.

But that would require to do something even more taboo than being envious. I mean ok envy may not make one popular but the even bigger taboo would be: to ask about someone's financial situation. For instance to ask how much wealth another person has. Ok you live off 20k a year say. But if you have no income (let's assume not even of social security age so no social security income either - just no income) where does the 20k come from? Is it purely interest or is one spending down capital? Now if one is investing in a bank account paying 1% one needs 2 million to get 20k of interest a year. :) But let's assume a slightly better investment strategy. I'm told by a financial advisor (that advises a relative - I have no interest or expectations in the whole thing beyond protecting them) 4% can be achieved safely, that more than that involves significant risk in the current investment environment etc.. So 500k to get 20k a year. That's not depleting principle but principle is not keeping up with inflation, so really you need somewhat more I'd figure. But then the question becomes how did you save 600k say? And pay off a mortgage as well? But this involves a whole bunch of other questions that just aren't asked. Like what was your salary when you were working - you earned x and saved y of it .... You can just say what you saved, say 30k a year or something but someone can infer income to some degree from that - they can basically assume you weren't earning 30k or even 40k gross a year then (unless you are a couple and lived off one income which is an entirely different situation). The questions about frugality are less taboo than those about income. It would be so 20k a year- what do you do health insurance? Medicaid? (that's particular number is too low to get an obamacare subsidy for an exchange plan). Are you able to easily find doctors who will see Medicaid patients? Do you feel you have decent health insurance should you ever need it relying on Medicaid alone? (this is bound to depend on lot on local circumstances - some states didn't even expand Medicaid afterall) Or is the entire health insurance plan: go to Mexico :laff: Do you feel your assets are significantly protected relying on that alone (if you have assets that generate 20k a year, it would be a pity to lose those to medical bankruptcy - or is it just a risk you don't mind taking since even insurance is no guarantee). That's just one very basic expense. But personally health insurance and rent alone would leave me not that much left out of 20k - less than 300 a month for EVERYTHING else. But if asking the concrete questions is taboo ... esp as concerns wealth and income ...

In fairness, most of the people who make comments to me are at least several years younger than I am. It's hard for them to understand how just a few years can make such a huge difference.

It's hard to imagine how it can financially without a windfall, you can only save whatever you can save a year.

dmc

7-26-14, 3:20pm

Most of my friends seem fine with my ER. I retired at 49, my boss, the owner of the company that I worked at, was going around telling everyone that I was able to do it.

Im spending more now than I did when I was working, no cutting back here. We just bought a larger house in SW Florida close to the country club and water. Were taking a little vacation with the grandson now, but looking forward to getting back.

My dad quit working at 57. I remember him saying he should have done it sooner. He's 80 now and not in the best health. But he has had a lot of good years when he was still in good shape.

I'm now 57 so I don't stand out as much as I did a few years ago.

awakenedsoul

7-26-14, 4:55pm

These are neighbors that are asking. There are several people on this street who are on welfare, collect food stamps, and I guess receive Medicaid. I estimated my earnings at $28,000. this year. It was the first year of Obamacare, and I had no idea if I'd book a show by Nov. or not. I pay $120.00 per month, and receive a subsidy for the Silver Plan. It's a little less than I paid for a catastrophic policy when they let me use that. (Now you have to be under 30 yrs.) So far my income has been way under that. (Teaching tap and selling hand knits.)

I read the Down To Earth blog and just started doing what the blogger was doing. Everything fell into place after that. I just don't normally ask people, "Where do you get your money?" I feel like it's none of my business. The people here that ask me have one or two new SUV's, horses, trailers, children in private school, etc. They are self employed, and their taxes are high. I don't mean that as a judgement, it's just a fact. (and raises their expenses.) Also, I bought my house (a real fixer upper) for $89,500. It was the bottom of the market in 1998. It's tripled in value since then, but I don't touch the home equity.

I think also, because I like to garden and love the home, it makes my cottage attract attention. I really enjoy gardening, and I love old fashioned flowers. I didn't have the time or energy to put into my home when I was working so many hours. I was too exhausted. Now I can make it my focus.

Interesting to hear your perspective, dmc, thanks.

Teacher Terry

7-26-14, 7:03pm

One couple we were friends with were very jealous that we had pensions. I planned to retire at 58 for years & talked about it a lot. My hubby did not plan to until he was the same age but he lost his job at 53 & could not find another so had to take his pension early & a huge penalty. Our pensions are not very big & we stayed in public employment for less $ to get them. They chose to work in private & get paid more. WE both work p.t. in our professions now because we enjoy it. We are no longer friends with this couple after 15 years. I just got sick of that & some other things. The rest of our friends were happy for us.

iris lilies

7-26-14, 7:28pm

But that would require to do something even more taboo than being envious. I mean ok envy may not make one popular but the even bigger taboo would be: to ask about someone's financial situation. ..

Well, I do! Ask, I mean.

When someone retires "early" I assume they've got cash to live from, that's not all that difficult. But I always ask about health insurance: "what are you doing about health insurance? " Of course that's not my business but that is more acceptable for discussion, and I figure that anyone who has enough cash to live from will want to protect that stash with health insurance.

I've received a variety of answers. Some teachers have health insurance paid for both her and hubby, others school districts pay nothing toward health insurance. One of my freind with significant net worth (but little cash flow) went bare for some years. Now she is on Medicare.

Yossarian

7-26-14, 7:48pm

I retired at 49...

I'm now 57

Weren't you here when you retired? For some reason I think I remember that, but I can't believe that was 8 yrs ago. Hopefully I'm just senile and time really isn't going by THAT fast.

dmc

7-26-14, 7:54pm

Weren't you here when you retired? For some reason I think I remember that, but I can't believe that was 8 yrs ago. Hopefully I'm just senile and time really isn't going by THAT fast.

And you think that I can remember. But I may have been on the old board then.

dmc

7-26-14, 8:04pm

Well, I do! Ask, I mean.

When someone retires "early" I assume they've got cash to live from, that's not all that difficult. But I always ask about health insurance: "what are you doing about health insurance? " Of course that's not my business but that is more acceptable for discussion, and I figure that anyone who has enough cash to live from will want to protect that stash with health insurance.

I've received a variety of answers. Some teachers have health insurance paid for both her and hubby, others school districts pay nothing toward health insurance. One of my freind with significant net worth (but little cash flow) went bare for some years. Now she is on Medicare.

health insurance is still a big expense for us. I'm not ready to try out Obama care yet, the wife likes the insurance we have and we can stay on it as long as we pay. But if we go off I don't think we can sign back up later. I'm not sure how well it will work down here though. I talked with a guy at the club and he said to get the doctor that he wanted to see him he has to actually pay the doctor a couple hundred a month on top of his insurance.

awakenedsoul

7-26-14, 8:17pm

When I lived in Santa Fe, the woman I rented a guest house from had done really well in real estate. She had worked as a court reporter in LA, and then bought a house in Malibu. She doubled her money selling that house, then bought a gorgeous home in Santa Fe. She doubled her money again selling that one. The rent money she made off of me was her "mad money." She was in her forties.

I think people are perplexed by a single woman who "doesn't have to work." I studied The Millionaire Next Door, and was very impressed by it. Living in a working class neighborhood is much cheaper. Plus, taking the bus and biking is so much more affordable than driving. One of my neighbors asks men in this area who have moved back in with their parents, "How do you pay your bills?" I think they just can't find work, and so their parents pay the bills. One guy is like Mr. Mom. His wife works, and he stays home with the kids. Both are from cultures where it's traditional for three generations to live together. The two women are supporting both men and three kids. They bought the house in the 60's for something like $20,000.

One neighbor said to me, "He does well," motioning to a guy nearby that works as a techie in the movie business. I was excited about the deal I got at the Salvation Army on my air conditioner. Her take on it was that if I was with this guy, he could buy me a new air conditioner. I'm happy with the $35.00 used one. I guess it's just different lifestyles...

There are 5 or 6 single women (or single moms) who own or rent homes on our street. It seems to make people curious.

Aqua Blue

7-29-14, 9:25am

awakenedsoul, have you read the Lifeaftermoney blog? She is English, in her mid 60s, and lives off her pension only. I enjoy reading her blog and especially like the name of it.

I experienced a lot of jealous comments when I first quit working 8 years ago, Now that I am in my early 60'sI seem to hear less comments. I also got tired of the "excuse comments". "Well of course you could save money, you didn't have kids" or "Of course you could save money you weren't married" or "of course you could save money you were a dink for 18 years" etc. There is always some easy reason why I could and they couldn't. Never that I always lived in a small house, did lots of things that saved money: big garden, hung clothes out, drove cars until they died, planned trips so as not waste gas, bought most things used etc.

awakenedsoul

7-29-14, 11:18am

Aqua Blue, That sounds great. I'll check it out. What's a dink? Your situation sounds very much like mine. I do all of those things, too. It's made such a difference. I figured it out and it saves me $10,000. a year to live this way. It also keeps me really busy. The yard work, maintenance, cooking and baking, harvesting, etc. take a lot of time and energy. I treat it like a job.

I guess I look at Obamacare the same way I did my catastrophic policy. I have it there in case of an emergency. I don't go to the doctor, though. I'm more into alternative medicine. I see my parents and their constant doctor appts. and blood work. It seems like such a raquet to me. It's their life, and their choice, so I don't say anything. If you have something seriously wrong, I can see why you'd want a certain doctor. In my case, the only times I've gone were for a couple of ear infections 10-15 yrs. ago. Any doctor could have diagnosed it and given me an antibiotic. So, I just paid cash at Urgent Care. (I think it was $100.00.)

Aqua Blue

7-29-14, 12:06pm

dink=double income no kids. I was married for 19 years and now divorced for 18+ years. When I was married it was because I was married and when it was divorce it was because I wasn't married that was the excuse. Sigh.

awakenedsoul

7-29-14, 4:03pm

Aqua Blue, Oh, that's right. I knew that; I'd just forgotten. I know what you mean. Oh well...you've got the discipline, and that will stay with you. I notice that people who say that to me often have two incomes. With the right partner, that can help. With someone who's a spender, it can be a mess. (I speak from experience.) I think good fortune comes to people in different ways. Cutting back and living beneath my means has turned my life around. I was so stressed and worried when I had debt.
I found the blog and she's a real kick. Thanks. At first I went to the wrong one and I got some freaky website. Then I googled it and found her. I'm going to spend more time reading her posts today.

Spartana

7-29-14, 4:14pm

I've never really experienced anyone being jealous or envious of my early retirement status. But I have had people not understand it. Most seem to think it is an unnatural state and that, because I live frugally, I must be denying myself things. The one comment I got the most often was "if you went back to work then you could buy XY and Z" (usually something upscale and showy). My response was usually that I valued my free time more so then XY or Z. In my head I basically said to them "If you didn't buy XY and Z, you wouldn't have to work." Didn't say it out loud too often but it's what I usually thought.

awakenedsoul

7-29-14, 4:23pm

That's funny, Spartana. The lady who cuts my hair asked me, "So what do you do all day, nothing?" It annoyed me. Am learning not to get defensive. She rents an apt. with her sister. She's from Korea. She works really hard, and I think from what she tells me, she plans on working until she dies. It seems like some of it is cultural. A lot of my relatives are English, and it's more typical there to invest so that you can retire, leave an inheritance for your children, etc. It's just part of the upbringing. (Well, at least it was in my family.)

bae

7-29-14, 4:31pm

I "retired" when I was 36, which was 15 years ago.

I think I'm busier now by some measures than when I worked for pay.

Our culture seems to define people by what they "do", if your answer is non-standard, some view you as a sketchy person. Luckily, in my community, most folks who work for pay have to hold down 3-5 different jobs throughout the year, so an answer of the form "Oh, I do a little of this, a little of that" goes over well.

The jealousy I've encountered mostly has come from co-workers from my previous life, many of whom are still slaving away in their cubicles even though they too could live their own lives by their own terms if only they had the will and the courage to do so.

Spartana

7-29-14, 4:48pm

I do get the "what do you do all day" questions too - some sincere, some snarky. The snarky one's irritate the heck out of me because it's like they think there is only work, or nothing. I generally found that the people who make those kinds of comments (if they aren't truly sincere and are just being snarky) won't accept any answer as it seems they have already formed a negative opinion. Of course I go on and on and on and on telling them exactly what I do all day anyways :-)!

dmc

7-29-14, 5:18pm

awakenedsoul

7-29-14, 5:32pm

I read on another forum that one woman tells people when they ask her, "What do you do all day?" answers, "Oh, I watch porn." (just to shock them.) If I think of that, it helps me keep a sense of humor.

I think with one person, my mail lady, it's that she is from El Salvador, and she works full time. It upsets her to see the number of people who come to the US who are on welfare, food stamps, having children they can't afford to feed, (the whole cycle.) I think she wants to be sure people don't assume that she is doing that. But, she doesn't realize that some people who are home are living off of their own money. Like the rest of you, I feel very busy and productive. She thinks we just watch t.v. and set a bad example for the children. (Well, that's what she's told me.) It's weird, the work ethic. Not everyone is aware of the freedom that comes from having your money work for you. I guess a paycheck is the only money they've had. I don't mean that as a judgement, just thinking that if you're from a poor country and starting out here....

bae

7-29-14, 5:37pm

I tell casual acquaintances that I'm unemployed.

I sometimes go with "I'm unemployable..."

Spartana

7-29-14, 6:06pm

I sometimes go with "I'm unemployable..."

Ha! That's what I should go with (and it's probably true now).

I think it helps that I leave in the early morning (usually) and am gone for several hours, come home for awhile and then leave again. So I think my neighbors think I at least have a part time job in the morning (one that requires me to wear shorts and tennis shoes and ride my bike :-)!). If the ask I tell them I work from home and have flexible hours. It's more with friends and new acquaintances. And I find it seems to come more from older people who probably have a more traditional "work until you drop or are at least 65" mind set. Or those who's focus in life is very much inline with whatever they do to earn money. Younger people (well... younger then me) seem to "get it".

jrb3

7-29-14, 9:22pm

It's hard to imagine how it can financially without a windfall, you can only save whatever you can save a year.

Yes, for many (most?) folks, you'll have a period where you raise income so you can set aside more.
If that's part of the price for what you most want, well, knowing that helps in deciding what path(s) to walk.

One acquaintance worked out what he needed to live his deepest vision of "always traveling, physically, mentally, spiritually".
Even pared down to its essence, he still had the choice between crafting five million dollars within ten years, or giving up on himself.
Extreme yet achievable with integrity and family; see his blog at http://7million7years.com on his particular journey.

Thankfully most of us find our "enough" needing less capital, thus less effort and/or sooner done if we so choose.

jrb3

7-29-14, 9:32pm

I sometimes go with "I'm unemployable..."

I am so keeping this handy for when I transition into my next career of founding, owning and running businesses!

Blackdog Lin

7-30-14, 10:08pm

My favorite early retirement story is running into a former coworker of mine, who quit "the Service" 25 years ago. He was an awesome worker, but just wasn't able to hack the hours, the stress, the schedule changes.

Ran into him 6 months or so before my retirement, and he'd heard I was going, and he said "heard you're getting out - boy, must be nice to retire at 55!" Tone was envious and a tad snarky. And I came right back with "well Randy, you could have. If you'd stuck it out, that is."

And the look on his face was priceless. I could see it dawning/occurring to him: oh, yeah, he COULD be in the same position as me. At the same early age. But he didn't have what it took to stick it out, to put up with all the B.S., give up the family time, and family plans, and do all the hot sweaty hard work (summer), and all the cold sweaty (and leg-ruining) hard work (winter).....

Made me smile.

awakenedsoul

7-30-14, 11:39pm

When I was a kid, 55 seemed so old. Now that I'm almost 50, it seems young. Good for you for having a snappy comeback, Blackdog Lin! What kind of work were you doing?

Rachel

8-3-14, 6:40am

Jealousy and envy are unfortunately such a big part of life. One solution is to say "I work from home" and if the person asks "Doing what?" you answer "Technical writing." I hate to advocate lies, but in the few situations where I have been the target of jealous vibes I have found it to be extremely unpleasant and almost fear-provoking.

Not sure this is an answer for you, Awakened--your situation is complex in that these are your neighbors, so they are all around you all the time, plus there are some big cultural differences. It sounds like some of them feel that you and your garden constitute an implied criticism of them---that's so sad, but it doesn't surprise me. And you obviously (I hope) are not going to dig up your garden in order to "fit in"!!

Do you know most your neighbors' names? Just saying hello to people by name can make a difference in the atmosphere. Just a thought.

cdttmm

8-3-14, 6:52am

Rachel's comment made me think of another possible response. Tell them the truth! When people ask what you do just say, "I'm a dancer." That is true, after all, isn't it? Whether you are making enough money to live on as a result of your dancing or living off of your investments is a whole separate conversation and one that most people won't enter into with someone they don't know well.

awakenedsoul

8-3-14, 12:03pm

Rachel, I do say hello to many of my neighbors. I see them all the time when I ride my bike and run my dogs. I know their names and use them. It does help. But, there are two families on either side that I've had a really difficult time with...so I avoid them. It's a huge cultural clash, and they work in a group, together. When they see me chatting with someone else, they go up to that person later and tell them I'm a racist and not to talk to me. I've learned to ignore it. It's kind of like an abusive marriage. I've tried to sell my house, but they do the same thing to the realtors and buyers. I decided to stick it out...I've put so much into this fixer upper/cottage.
Funny what you said about the garden. When I first revamped everything, a friend/neighbor told me, "You're making them look bad." I have a real passion for growing things, so I just kept on planting and tending. Now, many other people have put in beautiful, creative front gardens. It's totally changed the neighborhood. I love it! Some of the best gardeners here are from poor cultures. They are really talented. I enjoy talking with them.
cdttmm, One lady I like cleans houses. When I told her I was teaching seniors tap, she relaxed. I think people prefer it if everyone is the same. Most of the people here don't really understand artists. They see them as flakey, or "artsy fartsy." But, my neighbors across the street have a daughter who went to an arts school. She's a dancer. They're very nice and considerate. A lot of it is class, culture, financial background...Most of the people here have several cars, plus an RV, a trailer, off road vehicles, etc. Some of them even have construction equipment parked in their driveways. We have different lifestyles and different tastes. I bought here because of the price. It's affordable.

Selah

8-3-14, 1:07pm

I am not FI, nor retired, nor anywhere near either. But that is no one's fault but my own, and when I meet people who have managed to swing it, at whatever age, I am in AWE and am genuinely happy for them. I'm not jealous or trying to belittle their success by making internal qualifying thoughts like "sheesh, she must have had a rich uncle somewhere!" I want to know how they did it, and how they lived and worked during their working/investing years.

I am like Blackdog Lin's former co-worker in that I quit many opportunities that could have led to my being FI by now, or at least in far better shape financially. But like him, I just couldn't cut it. I didn't have the strength to work any fulltime job for any period of time, and I didn't have the knowledge or discipline to save and invest during most of my youth. But I KNOW my lack of success has been entirely down to me, and nobody but me.

I truly don't begrudge a single person who has worked mindfully, lived carefully, and are reaping the benefits of their good habits now. I'm always curious as to how they are living now, how they like retirement, and if it's everything they hoped it would be when they were busy working, saving, and planning for it. FI/retired people inspire me, and the only problem I have is just getting over my own self-blame and shame for not having done the same smart things they did with their money and their lives! Just like seeing an elderly person who is in excellent health and brimming with energy, I am not jealous...I just want to know how they lived, so I can do the same and end up with the same results!

iris lily

8-3-14, 1:19pm

I am worried about my friend who is a college prof, with tenure. He has refused to lower his grading standards to reflect the actual work that his students are now doing, and due to pressure from his administration it's a huge bone of contention, so they have removed him from the classroom. He is miserable. He can't retire early, he's got 5 more years to slog it out because a few years ago he made a commitment to his sister and co-purchased her home after her divorce. All of his money for the next 5 years is allocated. I also think that he is making a bad choice by planning to renovate his sister's house and then to move in with her in retirement. While the living together thing is fine, I really think he should examine the giant renovation project that they are planning, but so far he's not willing to change his 5 year plan.

I really hope that something breaks for him. To be miserable in your job for 5 years, ugh.

Blackdog Lin

8-3-14, 9:31pm

awakenedsoul: USPS.

awakenedsoul

8-3-14, 10:56pm

I don't get it, Blackdog Lin. United States Postal Service? The mail lady took me aside the other day and said, "I have to talk to you." A woman down the street, (who I don't know, she's a newish renter here,) told her daughter, "Don't talk to her, (the mail lady,) she talks to a racist." The mail lady is very friendly and says "Hi" to all the children by name each day. The mail lady was really upset. She loves the kids. The last mail lady and I were also friendly. She changed her route because my neighbors yelled at her and threatened to call her supervisor. They are extremely controlling. It seems like they try to isolate me. I've learned to ignore it.
Selah, I love your attitude. I also left work situations that were toxic or abusive. I don't think that's a bad thing. In some cases I was having trouble getting paid, or the paychecks were bouncing. In one situation, I was in a show that was dangerous. After my friend got paralyzed, I left. It just wasn't worth the paycheck and full medical coverage. It seems like can money can come in many different ways. I study people who are good with their money, and why...

Oh, now I get it Blackdog. You worked for the USPS. Thanks.