View Full Version : Do you go to your high school reunions?
gimmethesimplelife
8-26-14, 12:00am
I'm asking this question as I have been debating on and on and on about going to my 30th which is coming up on October 18th. I have never been to any of the reunions but a few people in my graduating class have since passed and I'm not getting any younger. This much is true. That said, I look back on high school and it was mostly a miserable and unhappy time in my life and I'm glad those years are long gone. Most of what little fun and meaning I found those years happened when I was alone and not with peers.
I've decided not to go and I've already picked up a banquet shift for that night at the Heard Museum which is a lucrative and fun event and I took this shift before I thought the dates through and it turns out that this shift is on the night of my high school reunion. So I guess in a roundabout way I made my decision as I have no desire to cancel my banquet shift.....
Just curious if others on this board pass on their reunions or go? Rob
iris lilies
8-26-14, 12:35am
ugh. no. I have nothing in common with these people.
I wouldn't mind seeing my best friend from high school, but she lives only 15 minutes away from any of these events and she refuses to go, thinks they are stupid. She keeps in touch with the few people she wishes to keep in touch with, and she was popular. So if she's not going to go, why in the world would *I* drive 8 hours to attend one of these things?
I had such an unpleasant experience the last time there was a major reunion, and I didn't even attend yet the long reach of email enabled someone to "discover" me and dump news that I didn't want to know.
again, ugh.
ApatheticNoMore
8-26-14, 1:33am
no
rosarugosa
8-26-14, 4:41am
Never, and I live in the same town I grew up in, so logistics are not an issue. Revisit high school/adolescence? No thanks, once was plenty!
I thought about going to the 40th but it would involve a trip to Alaska and was not worth the expense. So many have moved from Alaska in those years that only the few who could travel might make it.
I've gone to 3 of the 7 that occurred. I often lived too far, and a few times I had other plans that couldn't be changed. Last time our high school principle joined us and told stories about each person in attendance. It was fun hearing things through his viewpoint.
Maybe I'll go to the 50th but that's a ways off yet.
Not high school ever as I would know many there but I attend my university reunion every 5 years if someone else organizes the get-together.
goldensmom
8-26-14, 6:47am
I went to my 30th and may go to the 50th but probably not, just not interested. I left the 30th thinking that I could have found a better way to spend $50.00 and I got tired of seeing pictures of kids/grand kids and feigning interest. At the 25th, however, it was interesting to see how the 'cool' kids talked to the 'not cool' kids that they would have never spoken to in high school. My husband has never attended any of his.
My parents were both popular and high-school sweethearts. They live just over an hour from where they lived during high school and they love going to their reunions. I had a great high school experience but left early the morning after graduation to move to NM and haven't been back much and never for a reunion. Just not interested. I do keep up with HS friends through FB
(hit enter before I finished and can't edit on this laptop)...the only thing I've considered going back for is a cruise reunion. My hometown was the cruise town for a 3 county area. Fri/Sat nights there were hundreds of cars cruising. 2 years ago they had the first ever cruise reunion and I loved seeing the photos of that. They had one again this summer but I couldn't make it either.
I went to my 15th, walked into the hall, wondered "who are all these old people?", and haven't been to one since. Besides, the people I'd most like to see at a reunion either aren't interested in going themselves or (probably) are doing 10-20 at a medium-security facility somewhere (what made them interesting in high school was wondering where they'd be in 20-30 years).
I couldn't wait to get out of high school. I have no desire to even attempt to relive "good ol' days" that really weren't.
No. My 35th was this summer. They held a big bbq 20 minutes from my house (we moved back a couple years ago - its cheap here!), but we opted to go to the lake with our kids that day instead. We made the right choice. In a strange twist several of my classmates are now my "friends" on Facebook. Nice to see them doing well, but I still don't care about meeting up. We went to DW's 25th and 30th. She has determined that's enough.
I couldn't wait to get out of high school. I have no desire to even attempt to relive "good ol' days" that really weren't.
Same for me. Fought through a crushing hangover the morning after my graduation to put that little town as far behind me as I could.
iris lilies
8-26-14, 10:29am
I went to my 15th, walked into the hall, wondered "who are all these old people?", and haven't been to one since. ...
Yes, that's me exactly and it was 15th reunion for me, too. I peeked into a room and thought "this can't be the place, I don't know these old people."
And think how young we were at age 33! haha I'd love to be that "old" again.
awakenedsoul
8-26-14, 10:34am
I don't go to my high school reunions. I had a few really sweet friends back than who ate lunch with me, but I don't even remember their last names! I do, however, go to show reunions. Those have been a blast! I went to the 20 year reunion for the cast of Hello Hollywood Hello! at the MGM Grand Hotel, in Reno. (It's now Bally's.) It was wonderful to see all my old friends and be on that huge stage again. But, those are some of my fondest memories. It was my first show, and I had a blast on and off stage. It was such an international and talented group of people.
I also attended a 30 year anniversary reunion for the cast of My One and Only. It was at Sardi's in NYC last July. Twiggy and Lucie Arnaz flew in, and it was amazing. They had a fabulous slide show, a delicious dinner, and live show with Tommy Tune and the leading ladies performing. Mike Nichols came. They told us the history of the show, how it almost failed, and how Mike saved the show. It was one of the highlights of my life. I am back in touch with the conductor and the dance captains from the show because of it. They did such a classy job.
So, I wasn't that connected to my high school friends, but my work friends, oh yeah! That's where my passion has always been. It also got me back into show business. At the MYOA reunion, I was invited to audition for a new show headed to Broadway. It's a good place to make contacts and reconnect. I missed the reunion for the cast of "42nd Street," I'd love to see those people, too.
I think it's the soul connections that matter. For some, that's though family. Others have it with sports, hobbies, etc...
It sounds like you made the right decision, Rob.
I couldn't wait to get out of high school. I have no desire to even attempt to relive "good ol' days" that really weren't.
I feel exactly the same way. I look back on my high school and junior high years as a kind of mild hell that I had to endure in order to fully appreciate the nirvana that was college.
catherine
8-26-14, 12:01pm
I happened to have a wonderful high school life and I cried buckets at my graduation. In many ways, I would love to recapture some of the things I had then: a strong social network, a carefree attitude, tons of opportunity for creative self-expression, and valuable new experiences (like having a father who went to work everyday instead of drinking).
So I was always anxious to go to my reunions. I went to the 10 year and the 40 year. In both cases, I didn't like the way I looked and I try to avoid the pictures in my digital photo library.
The 40th was WEIRD because while some people looked almost exactly the same, I definitely needed the yearbook pic name badges to identify others. There was one person there who I had been really good friends with, and for the life of me I couldn't place her!! I couldn't see her badge and I kept trying to pick up context clues from the people at the table and when I finally figured it out I was stunned.
I saw several of my really tight friends, and after the reunion we Facebook friended each other. I still love having that connection on FB. But I don't know if I'll go to another reunion. I didn't get a lot out of the experience. As they say "you can't go home again," and I could never recreate the friendships that I had. If I haven't done it by now, I never will.
ToomuchStuff
8-26-14, 2:26pm
NO.
My 40th occurred recently. Several people tried to persuade me to go, but I declined. The people I'm interested in seeing from high school I'm still in touch with, and it's a small number.
I went to a couple of them and they were actually fun. I live in the same area I went to high school and am in contact with many of my old friends so it was more like getting together in a more formal setting then normal. Of course, since I'm in The OC of SoCal where all the fit, shiny beautiful people live (excluding me of course :-)!), when I walked into the reunion it was more like "who are all these young people". I think many of them had a bit of help from Doctor's Nip and Tuck :-)! I'd go again if I was in the area but wouldn't travel for it. I have a friend (best friend from HS) who is getting married next month to my former boss from my last job, so if I go I'll have a double reunion - old HS friends as well as old work friends. Could be interesting.
Nope, never, and it's been 30+ years. I was the school outcast (or one of them anyway) and dealt with bullying and teasing every day. I do have friends from that era, and I'm in touch with the ones I want to be in touch with.
But there are too many scars for me to want to attend a reunion.
ApatheticNoMore
8-26-14, 3:14pm
The truth is also I think I may have been notified about one of them (and even then I'm not sure I didn't hear it from an old classmate!) but I have NEVER been notified ever since. It may not have helped that I didn't go to that one I actually knew about and haven't kept a forwarding address - ha. But my mom can be reached at my same number and address as ever. And yes I'm sure if I wanted to find the information I could, if I was to think: "there should be a reunion about now, let me go online and see if I can find any information ...."
And that's pretty much the case with lots and lots of people that went to those schools. It was not a good school district .... They put as little effort into keeping reunions up as they did into educating us - very little.
I went to my 20th high school reunion- it was boring, my best friend from then didn't show up, and I didn't remember most of the stories people were telling me about things we did back then. I think I'm done with reunions.
gimmethesimplelife
8-26-14, 3:52pm
Nope, never, and it's been 30+ years. I was the school outcast (or one of them anyway) and dealt with bullying and teasing every day. I do have friends from that era, and I'm in touch with the ones I want to be in touch with.
But there are too many scars for me to want to attend a reunion.Exactly. Same here. Your post could just as easily be mine. Rob
And think how young we were at age 33! haha I'd love to be that "old" again.
Yeah, 33 was pretty good. 23 maybe even better. But the only thing I miss about being 17 is my metabolism. :~)
I have a very good friend who just went to his 40th. He came back saying how high school was the best time of his life and he wishes he could go back and do it again. Everybody's different to be sure, but the thought of the best years of your life coming in your teens just made me feel sad for him. That, and I couldn't repress the thought of 'if you got off your butt and did something maybe your 50s and beyond wouldn't be so bad'. Different strokes...
goldensmom
8-27-14, 10:44am
I have a very good friend who just went to his 40th. He came back saying how high school was the best time of his life and he wishes he could go back and do it again. Everybody's different to be sure, but the thought of the best years of your life coming in your teens just made me feel sad for him. That, and I couldn't repress the thought of 'if you got off your butt and did something maybe your 50s and beyond wouldn't be so bad'. Different strokes...
That is sad. I'm at the age now where I understand what my parents meant when they said they'd not want to 'go back' or be younger although I would like the energy and natural hair color of my youth.....not bad enough to for a do over, however.
gimmethesimplelife
8-27-14, 10:49am
Well knock me over with a feather. Yesterday I sent an email off to the high school reunion committee that was civil but to the effect that since I had been bullied so much in high school the experience was miserable for me and due to this I'm probably best off skipping the reunion. I expected to hear nothing back and have my name crossed off a list and that would be that, right? Knock me over with a feather. I received an email from someone I hardly knew back then apologizing for the class, wishing me well in life and telling me in grade school they had been bullied too. We emailed back and forth a few times and FB friended each other and it seems I have some things in common with this person. Also, a friend of hers who I thought had been popular back then got in touch with me last night and it turns out that she had been bullied too and plans on going to the reunion and says she's going to be very hard pressed to be civil to certain people. Amazing. Maybe I will go. I don't know. There is a part of me that wants to let them know they didn't break me - just like Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink if anyone here has seen that. I'm just stunned to hear back from two people from those days who seem so kind and so decent. Rob
Well knock me over with a feather. Yesterday I sent an email off to the high school reunion committee that was civil but to the effect that since I had been bullied so much in high school the experience was miserable for me and due to this I'm probably best off skipping the reunion. I expected to hear nothing back and have my name crossed off a list and that would be that, right? Knock me over with a feather. I received an email from someone I hardly knew back then apologizing for the class, wishing me well in life and telling me in grade school they had been bullied too. We emailed back and forth a few times and FB friended each other and it seems I have some things in common with this person. Also, a friend of hers who I thought had been popular back then got in touch with me last night and it turns out that she had been bullied to and plans on going to the reunion and says she's going to be very hard pressed to be civil to certain people. Amazing. Maybe I will go. I don't know. There is a part of me that wants to let them know they didn't break me - just like Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink if anyone here has seen that. I'm just stunned to hear back from two people from those days who seem so kind and so decent. Rob
People change and kids can be cruel, i am sure the bullies regret their actions if they have a conscience and may now be nice people. I enjoyed my school reunion although it will be full of people wanting to tell you just how succesful they are. I would go if it is not too expensive, if you do not enjoy it well at least you know you arent missing out and you are bound to meet up with some nice people and catch up on all the gossip!
catherine
8-27-14, 11:26am
I have a very good friend who just went to his 40th. He came back saying how high school was the best time of his life and he wishes he could go back and do it again. Everybody's different to be sure, but the thought of the best years of your life coming in your teens just made me feel sad for him. That, and I couldn't repress the thought of 'if you got off your butt and did something maybe your 50s and beyond wouldn't be so bad'. Different strokes...
I don't know.. I identify with him (as you see in my previous post), but that's not to say that the rest of my life hasn't been great as well. I feel very lucky that I did have such a positive H.S. experience, because I know that many, many other people don't. And as I've mentioned, in my case a lot has to do with the fact that my early life was like being hit on the head with a hammer constantly. And then the hammering stopped--my high school life correlated with my mother's divorce and remarriage, and I was just on Cloud Nine for years as a result--my "headache" and the "hammer" were gone. Life was beautiful, and I've tried my whole life since then to retain that same sense of "waking up" to joy and possibility on a daily basis.
ApatheticNoMore
8-27-14, 11:35am
Yea people change and they might be nice people now, I don't even doubt that, but if all one wants is a bunch of nice people one basically doesn't know, and has nothing more in common with than any other group of strangers (which one can no doubt find they have something in common with!), there's a dozen other social events one can find to go to (concerts, etc.) and probably that very day/night! Talking about some algebra teacher one doesn't remember, some English teacher one somewhat does, and the photography teacher that stopped teaching a few weeks into the class ("you people don't want to learn so I'm not going to teach" - and yet still collected a paycheck), the art teacher I told to "F off" and then walked out of class trying to get "bad kid cred", is only so interesting. And at the concert or wherever one doesn't have to show they are vastly successful, they can just be ordinary.
Last week I received notice of my 30th class reunion. I haven't gone to any of them before and don't intend to. Didn't really enjoy high school and most of my friends were either older or younger than me. My school was in another part of our township and it was a snooty area, so students from my town never really fit in.
My invitation said "dress to impress". Why? To impress a bunch of strangers who don't mean anything to me? I didn't even recognize the person's name who is in charge of the reunion. Nope, never gonna go.
Tussiemussies
8-27-14, 8:05pm
A group from our class gets together regularly and are having a larger gathering soon. I have never gone to my reunions. High school was not a very good experience for me either that among other things caused me to have low self esteem. I have worked to feel better about myself and don't want to go into that environment again for fear it will trigger off old feelings....
Gardenarian
8-27-14, 10:46pm
No. I had a rough patch; not interested in revisiting that.
gimmethesimplelife
8-28-14, 12:17am
I feel really blessed for once. I just was chatting on FB with someone I went to high school with who seems to want to reconnect with me. This person was bullied too and we seem to be getting along on FB, I'm very curious as to whether this carries over IRL. But it was such nice, decent conversation with someone from those horrible days. I'm of the hope that going may help me to let those days just go. So I did a 180 and committed to going. Heaven help me. But OTOH if it's just too much to bear I can always quietly leave. And the one wonderful thing? This time I will not hide or deny - if they can't handle my being gay that's their problem and I wish them well with it. But at the same time I will not be militant or confrontational with it - I'll just be me and if they don't like me they can whistle Dixie. At what I am paying to attend I'm going to enjoy the upscale menu, too. Not leaving before I'm done with that at a rock bottom minimum. Rob
ToomuchStuff
8-28-14, 10:52am
I have a very good friend who just went to his 40th. He came back saying how high school was the best time of his life and he wishes he could go back and do it again. Everybody's different to be sure, but the thought of the best years of your life coming in your teens just made me feel sad for him. That, and I couldn't repress the thought of 'if you got off your butt and did something maybe your 50s and beyond wouldn't be so bad'. Different strokes...
I've heard that sentiment before. Normally I hear it in reference to back when they had someone else paying their bills, or due to vanity.
I left it at no, because those were some of the worst years of my life, that I have tried hard to forget all of it. I went through the bullied BS, as well as other bs, including having both a knife and gun to me back then. I tend to PO people because I can understand where the school shooter develop from. (not saying it is right)
This time I will not hide or deny - if they can't handle my being gay that's their problem and I wish them well with it. But at the same time I will not be militant or confrontational with it - I'll just be me and if they don't like me they can whistle Dixie.
Good attitude! I would say that this is one matter in which the years have been kind: being gay carries much less of a stigma now than it did years ago. IME, even some people who were really bothered by the idea of homosexuality softened because one of their own kids came out or they realized that the person working with them down the aisle at work was gay and didn't at all match their stereotypes and was really an OK person.
So after reading the rest of this thread, my question is, do we live the lives we do now because most of us had cruddy experiences in high school? Or was our preference to live simply the cause of having a cruddy time in high school?
So after reading the rest of this thread, my question is, do we live the lives we do now because most of us had cruddy experiences in high school? Or was our preference to live simply the cause of having a cruddy time in high school?
Fascinating question Steve. Personally, I don't think my cruddy experiences in HS and JHS have any connection to my desire for a simple life. Those cruddy experiences did have a deep and lasting effect upon me but not in this particular facet of my life.
Although I mostly found high school a waste of time (pep rallies--shudder!), I wasn't bullied there or in grade school. I mostly operated under the radar, as I have most of my life.
gimmethesimplelife
8-28-14, 4:19pm
Although I mostly found high school a waste of time (pep rallies--shudder!), I wasn't bullied there or in grade school. I mostly operated under the radar, as I have most of my life.LOL Jane I know what you mean about pep rallies. The popular people on parade. I'd just go hide as best I could when there was a pep rally, often ducking into the school library and hiding in the stacks. Rob
LOL Jane I know what you mean about pep rallies. The popular people on parade. I'd just go hide as best I could when there was a pep rally, often ducking into the school library and hiding in the stacks. Rob
Not only that, but you were expected to jump up and down and scream like an idiot. What was that all about? What a colossal waste of time.
gimmethesimplelife
8-28-14, 5:21pm
Not only that, but you were expected to jump up and down and scream like an idiot. What was that all about? What a colossal waste of time.Yes indeed. The whole concept always struck me as very bizarre. So glad there are no pep rallies in my life now other than occasional banquet meetings where we are expected to be a bit rah rah rah. I'm glad they overlook those who don't rah rah rah and give shifts to those who work up to par and are responsible other than just those who can rah rah rah well. Rob
ApatheticNoMore
8-28-14, 5:44pm
I've had some rallies in corporate jobs, they struck me as far more inherently bizarre than any pep rally. Luckily that is not that common either.
I didn't go to my high school reunions as I was living to far away. If I was still local I would have attended. I still go to see my Fraternity brothers during homecoming from time to time. I didn't at first but now that I'm getting older I like to see the guys from time to time, some of us are not around anymore.
So after reading the rest of this thread, my question is, do we live the lives we do now because most of us had cruddy experiences in high school? Or was our preference to live simply the cause of having a cruddy time in high school?
It seems that some of us had a cruddy time because we didn't fit in. Now, we still don't fit in, but we're older and wiser and more comfortable in ourselves so it doesn't really matter what people think about us. Also, our community was limited to our classmates. Now, with the internet, people from all over the world with similar interests/lives can meet up and be different all together.
gimmethesimplelife
8-28-14, 10:27pm
I've heard that sentiment before. Normally I hear it in reference to back when they had someone else paying their bills, or due to vanity.
I left it at no, because those were some of the worst years of my life, that I have tried hard to forget all of it. I went through the bullied BS, as well as other bs, including having both a knife and gun to me back then. I tend to PO people because I can understand where the school shooter develop from. (not saying it is right)I fully understand how someone could snap and do this, too, and I agree - I don't think it's right, either, but I can understand what could push a teenager to act out in this way. Rob
gimmethesimplelife
8-29-14, 8:12pm
Today I talked to someone I have not talked to for thirty years - they are one of the reunion organizers. I found out that someone who gave me a lot of grief in high school committed suicide about ten years ago and I am absolutely stunned. Just stunned. I guess we all have our own demons. Who knows what she was battling? I am so glad those years are behind me and the big demons have been slayed. Rob
I've never been to one of my reunions. The latest one being the 40th a couple of years ago. After High School, I went off into the Air Force and never came back to my hometown other than for short visits. By the time the first reunion invitations started arriving in the early 80's I felt that time and distance were too great to bother with trying to re-connect.
The funny thing is, over the past several years I've gotten Facebook friend requests from quite a few of those folks. After re-connecting there, I'm convinced that I was right.
ApatheticNoMore
8-29-14, 8:39pm
Today I talked to someone I have not talked to for thirty years - they are one of the reunion organizers. I found out that someone who gave me a lot of grief in high school committed suicide about ten years ago and I am absolutely stunned. Just stunned. I guess we all have our own demons. Who knows what she was battling?
actual bullies who go around beating up other students and so on (and I don't mean in self-defense) usually have pretty severe psychological problems of their own. I think there's whole studies that show that.
awakenedsoul
8-29-14, 11:13pm
Rob,
There's an excellent book on bullying called Take The Bully By the Horns. I got it at the library. I'm not surprised to hear about the suicide. My experience with bullies is that they are usually very needy, controlling, and disturbed. The ones I've known have become alcoholics, food addicts, and/or chain smokers. I don't mean this as a judgement, just a description.
One thing that stuck out to me in that book was, "The bully sees something in you, something they will never ever have..."
I live in between two families who bully. (It's worse when they've been drinking.) They work in large groups, usually family. I've noticed that it happens within their own family, as well. They are teaching the children their techniques...how to harass, etc...it reminds me of the dynamics within a gang.
Many of the bullies I know have lost their homes, their jobs, and their relationships. I believe that energy they put out comes back. After a while, people avoid those who are so angry and dominant. Oh, another thing that book said that I found to be true: "Bullies hate to be ignored!"
iris lilies
8-30-14, 2:38am
Not only that, but you were expected to jump up and down and scream like an idiot. What was that all about? What a colossal waste of time.
I hated pep rallies, so boring.
My friends were all 6' tall and basketball players (women's basketball is very big in Iowa) so sports were always important to them, and I didn't begrudge them the "fame" because they worked for it. They got sweaty and looked unglamerous and they missed out on stuff due to games and practices.
Not only that, but you were expected to jump up and down and scream like an idiot. What was that all about? What a colossal waste of time.
I was that idiot. Come on--a waste of time stirring up the crowds to yell at a bunch of big high school kids to barge through a bunch of other big high school kids to get a weird-shaped ball over a white line in the grass? I didn't go to school for nothing, you know!
(that's me cross-legged on the right)
http://i885.photobucket.com/albums/ac56/cmboyd/pepclub_zps69100553.jpeg?t=1409400283
iris lilies
8-30-14, 11:49am
I was that idiot. Come on--a waste of time stirring up the crowds to yell at a bunch of big high school kids to barge through a bunch of other big high school kids to get a weird-shaped ball over a white line in the grass? I didn't go to school for nothing, you know!
(that's me cross-legged on the right)
http://i885.photobucket.com/albums/ac56/cmboyd/pepclub_zps69100553.jpeg?t=1409400283
Awwwwwww, I KNEW you were a cheerleader! You are a hopeless optimist!
During the pep rally Jane and I would have been behind the school building, smoking, and making sarcastic comments about school personalities. Once I did escape a pep rally and spent it in the library.
I was that idiot. Come on--a waste of time stirring up the crowds to yell at a bunch of big high school kids to barge through a bunch of other big high school kids to get a weird-shaped ball over a white line in the grass? I didn't go to school for nothing, you know!
(that's me cross-legged on the right)
http://i885.photobucket.com/albums/ac56/cmboyd/pepclub_zps69100553.jpeg?t=1409400283
I would have been happy to clap you on the back for your hard work and talent, then go hang with Iris Lily. (You certainly look chipper!)
In HS I was one of the guys out chasing whatever ball was in season. We really appreciated the cheerleaders. We weren't very good at any of those games so without them it would have been pretty quiet. Our smokes and sarcastic remarks came on weekends.
I was in the band and had to play at all those pep rallies and football games. And I STILL didn't have team spirit.
iris lilies
9-4-14, 11:26pm
I was in the band and had to play at all those pep rallies and football games. And I STILL didn't have team spirit. Well, me too. Had to attend all of those games. YOu'd think I would have more than a miniscule understanding of football, but I do not.
I thought about going to the 40th but it would involve a trip to Alaska and was not worth the expense. So many have moved from Alaska in those years that only the few who could travel might make it. I lived in Ak 40 years ago, and graduated from HS after attending in 11th & 12th grade. Even though the reunions there actually draw a fair number of people, they are either the core group of locals who were from the prominent families in town (soshes); or the kind of nerdy, studious people from back then who became a CPA or a Computer guy, with a good income, & wants to show them he is a success & revisit Alaska. I have buddies still there, who did not go, yet they are doing well. Just not their cup o' tea. Pretty much every one else stays home. I'm thinking that the internet and just social change in general has lessened the appeal of the Class Reunion, though they still happen. I see a trend of lumping years together, as the attendees age. A good friend with whom I keep in touch from grade/middle school went to one back home in Wa. because it coincided with his mothers funeral, and he reported that he found it was not worth the time and expense. The reunion, I mean. But, I suppose it really depends on what your high school daze were like, and who you ran with, whether or not you'd like a reunion.
No. It was a very wealthy bunch of kids and I saw tragedies swept under the carpet due to that--for example a kid shooting another kid in the shower and two weeks later pumping gas at his dad's station. Plus wealthy people defining reality for others because they had the power to do so--no thanks. My affinity for the A. Lincoln quotation below, " As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master," comes directly from the perspective I got where that imbalance was palpable.
Ahhh Catherine, cute photo! We had cheerleaders for everything, including wrestling. I never wanted to be a cheerleader but I was in pep club. That was also a big thing in the early 80's. Well, I was in until I was kicked out. Everyone joined pep club because if you wore the t-shirt or sweatshirt you could get into all the games for free. So I'd wear the shirt, get in free, then go change clothes so I could sit with my boyfriend who was in jazz band. My kids get a kick out of me being kicked out of pep club.
I've still never been to a sporting event, and I have every intention of keeping it that way for the duration. I just asked DH to keep me honest, and the closest he could come up with was concerts I've attended in sports arenas. So I think I'm good.
I can't even think about sports without my eyelids growing heavier.
I say yes! I went my 30th and had a great time, it was fun to see so many from so long ago. I got some closure from those painful teenage years and was able to let go.
Oh so cute photo Catherine!! I wasn't a cheerleader (much to my poor Mom's dismay) but did play sports year round so I thought cheer leaders where cool and happy to have them "raise the roof" for us! I'm so happy to see that nowadays it's common for guys to be cheerleaders. Finally recognizing it as a very hard athletic pursuit.
I just found out that one of my close friends from junior high school died. She was only 48 and had two sons. We were in high school together as well, but she took college classes while I took business ones so we didn't share any classes. She taught at our high school for many years too. I still think of her as the sweet young girl she was; I can't imagine my former classmates as middle aged. Not even myself!
iris lilies
9-10-14, 10:11pm
I just found out that one of my close friends from junior high school died. She was only 48 and had two sons. We were in high school together as well, but she took college classes while I took business ones so we didn't share any classes. She taught at our high school for many years too. I still think of her as the sweet young girl she was; I can't imagine my former classmates as middle aged. Not even myself!
So, are you happy that you received that news? Or would you be more content not knowing?
Our last high school reunion prompted someone who was an acquaintance to contact me (she now lives my state, ugh) to say that we should get together (that will never happen) and she dropped news that our classmate through elementary school and high school killed his parents and stuffed them down a well. I really, really, dislike her for "sharing" that. I didn't need to know this, it didn't enrich my life, and I dislike her now as much as I disliked her 45 years ago. In high school she epitomized everything I disliked: sheer dullness of the place. She was a bore. She was a nice person but bland as an old shoe and she actually thought the place where we were was the cat's pajamas. I could not wait to get outta there. We had different values.
She wasn't "popular" but now she seems to be all over Facebook, "friending" everyone. The girls in my high school were nice and sweet, as I look back on them. There was this one obviously gay man, gay before anyone admitted to that, and he was thick in the middle of the popular girls. They took care of him.
gimmethesimplelife
9-10-14, 10:24pm
So, are you happy that you received that news? Or would you be more content not knowing?
Our last high school reunion prompted someone who was an acquaintance to contact me (she now lives my state, ugh) to say that we should get together (that will never happen) and she dropped news that our classmate through elementary school and high school killed his parents and stuffed them down a well. I really, really, dislike her for "sharing" that. I didn't need to know this, it didn't enrich my life, and I dislike her now as much as I disliked her 45 years ago. In high school she epitomized everything I disliked: sheer dullness of the place. She was a bore. She was a nice person but bland as an old shoe and she actually thought the place where we were was the cat's pajamas. I could not wait to get outta there. We had different values.
She wasn't "popular" but now she seems to be all over Facebook, "friending" everyone. The girls in my high school were nice and sweet, as I look back on them. There was this one obviously gay man, gay before anyone admitted to that, and he was thick in the middle of the popular girls. They took care of him.
IL, I'm not criticizing you here, I'm just offering a different take is all. I have been in touch with two people who are organizing my 30th high school reunion and had a long talk with one of them and I mentioned the name of one of the girls who had made my life hell in high school.....Terri. Turns out that Terri committed suicide ten years ago. Did I need to know that? No. Am I grateful I found out? You better believe it. It's helping me achieve some closure on those horrible days. I certainly would not wish Terri dead - I'd wish her alive and grown up and more human is what I would have wished for her. What I have learned is - all her money and privilege and advantages she had I never had - when things got rough, it was not enough to save her/keep her going. I can feel for her now - I feel forgiveness and sadness that Terri did not conquer her demons and took this way out.
My point is that knowing this is helping me let some painful memories in the past go and is helping me find forgiveness. Which is amazing as I am not the most forgiving of people, perhaps you have gathered this from my posts over the years? Here I truly want to forgive and am working on it. And I'm grateful to Donna - one of the reunion organizers - for sharing this with me. Rob
iris lilies
9-10-14, 11:31pm
IL, I'm not criticizing you here, I'm just offering a different take is all...
Sure, there's not one way to think or feel about learning this news of the past. But since I didn't "reach out" and since I've never contacted this person, there was no need to her to contact me or to share the news of our murderer classmate.
IL I see a difference between sharing with someone who wants to know and just plain old hate mongering...me thinks the person who shared with you just wanted to tattle...get some kicks out of sharing something sad and horrible. I know people who do that and feel sad for them and avoid them, too.
[QUOTE=iris lilies;184679]So, are you happy that you received that news? Or would you be more content not knowing?QUOTE]
Since I'm not on any social media, I discovered her death from the obituary page of our newspaper. I'm glad to know it, but not at all happy about it. Last night I left a little message on the memorial page from her funeral home. There were a few left by our former classmates as well. And a really nice one from her former student, who said so many lovely things about how she encouraged him and how grateful he was, as now he's also a teacher.
However, I did learn of the death of a girl who was a year older than me who was really horrible to me in high school. This, I'm ashamed to say, made me feel as if karma came around and got her. If it's true that the moment you die, you relive all the good and bad things you have done to other people, I hope she felt a bit of guilt and regret. I'm sure I'm not the only person she was awful to during her time on this earth.
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