Oh Gosh, this is hard!

[CathyA]

I pulled 4 boxes of my kids baby clothes out of a closet and I'm going to whittle it down to 1 box (hopefully). This is sooooo painful. Each piece of clothing is such a memory! I will give it all to charity, and someone will wear these things and be happy..........but dang, it's hard emotional work! (Especially for those of us who view all inanimate objects as having souls.............) :(

My kids are in their mid-late 20's now, and I've thinned these things out before........but the memories never go away.
But like I was telling DD.........once they are out of the house, I forget about them. I guess it's plain old 'separation anxiety'.

I hope I can keep up my resolve............

[catherine]

I know what you mean! I have just a few things left from my kids' closets, and I'm so attached to them, and I use excuses like "Well, now that I have a grandson, I'm sure my DIL would love to have this jacket!" But honestly, maybe she won't.

What gets me motivated is remembering when I had NO MONEY and my kids had to be dressed for something and I would go to the thrift shop and sometimes I would get a REAL find! It would be an expensive dress or jacket and would look barely used. I would be so happy that my kids would be well-dressed on a budget, especially since the families in my neighborhood were pretty upwardly mobile and had plenty of money they spent on clothes. So when I think of giving another mother that experience, it makes it easier to get rid of the stuff. In fact it feels like it's a sin for me to keep it.

[TxZen]

Can you make a nice shadow box for your wall so you can enjoy it everyday? I did that with my son's and it's nice to see everyday.

[CathyA]

Oh man.........talk me down. It just seems like every single piece of clothing I fold to go to the Caring Center, I feel like I'm holding my child in it. I'm hoping to take the majority of these things to the Center, and just keeping my absolute favorites..........but it just seems like everything is my favorite! I just want to cry. But I sure don't want to feel suffocated by all these boxes of things. I've been getting rid of stuff (all sorts of stuff) for years, and it just seems to never end. I can't believe how much I've bought in the past. What a waste of money! I'm trying to buy very little these days, so I never have to go through this again.

I'm also a "worst case scenario" person......I keep thinking "What if the economy collapses and my children have children and this is all they'll have to wear". It's silly......but I can't seem to think any different.
I'm in the habit (about everything) thinking "what if I need this some day?".........but the hassle of keeping this stuff everywhere just isn't worth it. I sometimes feel like I'll spend the entire rest of my life, trying to get rid of crap. And it's always soooooo emotionally difficult.

My DH also tends to hoard, but he has no interest in changing. I, at least, am trying hard. It's not easy emotionally.......but I think it will be worth it, once I get through the separation.
Gosh........EVERY single piece of clothing I'm going through, I find my self whispering "Oh.......I LOVE this one!" But I just can't continue to keep it all.
Dang........

[pinkytoe]

How about one box per kid? That way when and if they start their own families or finally settle down, you just hand them their box. I'm not as sentimental as you sound. I would probably keep one or two things tucked away for my old age but hand off the rest to dd when she marries or starts a family. It's her stuff after all.

[cdttmm]

Cathy, have you thought about asking your kids what they want you to keep? Because out of 10 outfits that you feel attached to, they might say, "oh Mom, these two are the ones that really matter to me!" Then you can be sure to keep exactly what your kids also care about and pass on the rest. My mom was hesitant to part with some things because she thought we (the kids) were attached to them. Once we told her what we really cared about it made it much easier for her to donate the rest of the stuff. Maybe that strategy will work for you, too!

[Gardenarian]

Oh I have a trunkful! I think - am I really going to pack dd's baby teeth?

[CathyA]

Thanks everyone.
Gardenarian.......I have their teeth too!

[iris lilies]

I would save their baby teeth! I would do what my mom did: make a trunk for sentimental "growing up" items. That's it, just one trunk. So it would have a tiny box of baby teeth,a few outfits--one from baby times, one from elementary school, one from Jr high or high school. Some report cards (school progress reports) and other things that symbolize you children's childhood. They can take it with them when they are adults.

The rest of it--ask if they want the stuff, but then get rid of it if they do not.

My mother kept a tiny blue dress of mine that fit me when I was under a year old, and there is a photos of me in it. But the thing is, I am indifferent to that dress and that photos because I have no memory of it. It's the items from later years, that I actually remember, that I keep for sentimental reasons.

[lmerullo]

I have way too many "things", so am probably a bad resource - but I think asking your children what is most meaningful / important to them hit a chord with me. I can see that when I am gone, will the children want / value these things??? It would make it easier for me to donate now if I knew how my kids felt about any of the items.

[CathyA]

Well, I took 4 bags full of 'some' of their clothes this morning. YAY! This is what always happens though.......On the way home from the Center, I start thinking of something I should have saved. Then I almost get into a panic thinking about losing it. But, I think I'm learning that this happens every time, and I get over it. So.......I still have more stuff to go through, but at least I'm making progress.
DH is a hoarder and never seems able to come up with the emotional fortitude to part with things. I'm glad I can at least deal with it sometimes.

I found a website on getting rid of your children's things, and it was helpful too. It's the children who are important.......not their clothes.
Intellectually, I get it............but you know how that goes.
Thanks for all your suggestions.