How much identity do you take out of what you do for money?

[gimmethesimplelife]

Just curious. How much indentity do you derive from what you do for money, or does it come from something/somewhere else? I gotta say that I have always scored low on the getting identity from how I was paying the bills, but I have know many people to whom this is a big deal and I find it funny how they leverage this tidbit in - what they do for a living - when they meet new people. Rob

[bae]

I don't do anything for money. I find it most freeing.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Very little. Consciously none as it is not what I believe in on a a conscious level (on a conscious level the janitors deserve high praise for doing their work as it's usefulness is obvious. Pay is not social utility. And also we don't necessarily end up where we are in life due to all that much we control anyway). Although there's a lot more at play than what is conscious. All money is on some level "FU money" to me. It's "shut up about how I live my life it's my money money" (of course I do not use it in ways I think are harmful nor condone that, but that's not what I mean, it's more it still contains the initial freedom of moving out of the parents house money). And I will say it was humbling to be unemployed and have no source of income. I felt weak and dependent (although it was all theoretical as I was not receiving any actual help from anything (didn't qualify for unemployment as I'd kind of quit, quit a bad situation but still) or anyone - dependent on the job market perhaps!).

[awakenedsoul]

I think it's pretty normal to discuss what you do for a living when meeting someone. I'm always interested in people's careers. If you have been able to pursue what you loved, it's very rewarding. I don't see it as a negative. I really miss working as a dancer. It was so exhilarating on so many levels. I did side jobs, too...(to pay the bills between shows.) I wasn't nearly as happy, but those gigs got me through the lean times. The tours through Europe and the States were my happiest times, though. I guess some people find passion in their work, and others find it in other ways. (hobbies, relationships, classes, etc...)

[ApatheticNoMore]

I think asking what people do for a living can be harmless enough. It may just be meaningless small talk, or well I often want to know if it sucks less than what I do for a living because hey who knows there could be something that sucks less, even that I might be able to do which would be truly amazing (that would frankly be the source of my interest, not so much impressed as just curious and wanting to learn). But the question can occasionally be interpreted the wrong way maybe, if one feels ashamed about what one does for a living because it's low paying or whatever (I think it's very sad that anyone should, but I have seen it).

[Tammy]

I've been lucky to work my way into a job I believe in that pays well - psychiatric nursing. So to be honest about 50% of my identity is tied up in my work. The other half comes from the things I love outside of work: riding my bike, sci fi movies and books, my family and friends.

[jp1]

Since we spend a lot of time working (at least some people do) it seems pretty normal to talk about it. I tend to focus on the part of it that will connect to people's own lives. I sell cyber insurance. Our best known client is Target. People can relate and I'm generally rewarded with an engaged small talk level conversation if I bring up that point.

Once I retire I won't spend the remainder of my life saying things like "do you remember when such and such breach happened? Oh, the good old days. I miss them." Hopefully I'll have other, retirement activities to talk about.

Many years ago I was unemployed for about 10 months. Because 'what do you do?' Is such a common topic when meeting people (certainly among people in their mid 30's in NYC anyway) I found it quite awkward. I never did find a way to shift the conversation to something beyond 'I'm unemployed.' I could talk about what I had done, what I hoped to be doing at my next job, or even talk about how I enjoyed having the free time to go for a 3hour bike ride every day, but at the end of the day it was still awkward. Maybe it's different in other, less career driven cities, or maybe it was an issue with my perception of myself, but the end result was that after a couple of months I stopped trying to meet people for dates. It wasn't until I had started a new job in a new field and was getting comfortable in that new reality that I began making any sort of effort to meet new people again.

[ToomuchStuff]

I am not what I do. I do what I do, for the money to pay the bills, and to put money aside. Over the years when I have tried to do things I enjoy for pay, I got to where I didn't enjoy them. For those that can do what they love, get paid for it, and still love it, I am happy for them. It never worked for me.
That doesn't stop people from identifying me with what I do, but that is their issue in most cases (one where part of it is my issue, is someone used me as an example in a book, and I found out after it was published).

[Kestra]

No, I don't identify strongly with what I do. I like what I do well enough, but my interests are much larger than the job I currently. Also what I do isn't that easily describable to someone else - unlike something more professional like a teacher, nurse, architect - careers that brings a strong image to mind. My education/credentials are also misleading compared to what the job I actually do is, though somewhat related. I don't mind talking jobs with other people, but when I have enough to retire, worrying about losing my "identify" will not be something that holds me back from quitting.

[Teacher Terry]

I obtained my education & professional job later in life after working some jobs I did not enjoy. So probably about 50% is that I teach a university class & also do consulting related to my former career. I love that my job has always involved helping people & I really love both things that I now do. I am just happy that I have found a good life/work balance by being semi-retired by choice.

[SteveinMN]

DW tells me that she doesn't know many other men who identify themselves by their interests, not by their vocation. There are so many other facets of me that I don't want to be narrowed down to "software performance testing" geek. :)

[Songbird]

Since I retired it's been so much more fun to identify myself with my interests and hobbies....

[goldensmom]

I am retired from a paying job, therefore, I cannot identify myself by what I do for money but I can identify myself by what I 'do' and that is 'homekeeping'. I can also identify myself by what I am and that is a Bible believing Christian. That should tell anyone all about what I do and what I am and I welcome questions about either. I have never thought about identifying myself by my interests/hobbies but it would fun and interesting.

[razz]

When getting ready to move and decide on a new home, a friend said that she could not imagine me without a garden. To her, it is part of my identity and others have agreed. Funny but friends can help see yourself in ways that one cannot see.

[catherine]

I work for money, and my job and the tasks I do for my job is just one small part of me. In fact, I work hard at dissolving the "catherine's identity" that I might form in my own mind, because labels are fences that keep you bound to ideas and thoughts you've outlived about yourself. Life is too dynamic to pin yourself a set of concepts. I'd be afraid I'd miss out on a lot. And whatever identity people attach to me is their own business. When I meet people I don't say, "I'm a market researcher." I prefer to say, "I do market research. I also enjoy x, y, and z."

[Float On]

We were totally wrapped up in what we did for a living. I still find myself saying "for 27 years my husband was a .......". We feel like we're just waiting for the next big thing.

[goldensmom]

Funny but friends can help see yourself in ways that one cannot see.
Excellent point. I made the comment to a friend one time that my life was boring. Her reply 'not by a long shot'. She then described how she saw my life over the past 20 years and had I not known she was talking about me, the person she described was really fun and interesting. I felt boring, she saw my life totally different....maybe the truth is half way in between. It's good to get someones outside opinion to get a good, overall perspective.

[catherine]

Excellent point. I made the comment to a friend one time that my life was boring. Her reply 'not by a long shot'. She then described how she saw my life over the past 20 years and had I not known she was talking about me, the person she described was really fun and interesting. I felt boring, she saw my life totally different....maybe the truth is half way in between. It's good to get someones outside opinion to get a good, overall perspective.

+1


O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!

[TxZen]

I am not about the money, I am in it for the experience and joy. Seriously. I do enjoy finding out about what others do but when they rattle off their resume with titles and hi lights to me, I lose interest fast. I am more interested in the story behind why they do what they do.

[Yossarian]

How much indentity do you derive from what you do for money

Another question might be how much of your identity do you put into what you do for money. Have you found a way to earn a living that reflects who you are as a person? While I don't have a cause per se in my occupation, my job does reflect certain character traits. So it is not always deriving identity, it can be expressing personality.

[pinkytoe]

My job also utilizes my character traits rather than interests. If I did what truly interests me, I would be reading books, seeing new places or outdoors in blue jeans and T-shirt tending gardens. It is interesting to know what people do for a living, but quite often does not reflect the real person lurking inside. I like to see those employee pages that ask "what would we be surprised to know about you?". That always impresses me more than one's MBA or PhD.

[Rachel]

I identify hugely with my job because I love it. Unfortunately, I see people in my age range being let go, fired, or de-accessioned in various ways from their employers, and if that happens to me it will be hard on me, and not "just" financially. I try to maintain a life outside of the job, but that can be hard to do given the time demands and energy demands of the job. I think a lot of people are in this situation. I'm truly grateful that I have a job that means so much to me.

[ApatheticNoMore]

I try to maintain a life outside of the job, but that can be hard to do given the time demands and energy demands of the job. I think a lot of people are in this situation.

yea. though i don't identify with my job, i'd rather have no identity at all than that, i think ...

[Lainey]

I've been conscious of that distinction for quite a while, so when new people ask me "What do you do?" I say "I work as a ...." instead of "I am a ..."
I hope they catch my meaning that my entire identity is not what I do for a living.

[SteveinMN]

I hope they catch my meaning that my entire identity is not what I do for a living.
That ties in with a favorite (?) peeve of mine: the phrase "Who do you work for?" My answer -- even before I had my own business -- is that I work for myself but I work at XYZ Corp. We all work for ourselves -- for our own priorities, our own interests. That they coincide with a larger organizational entity is good for both of us as long as it lasts.

[ApatheticNoMore]

That ties in with a favorite (?) peeve of mine: the phrase "Who do you work for?" My answer -- even before I had my own business -- is that I work for myself but I work at XYZ Corp. We all work for ourselves -- for our own priorities, our own interests. That they coincide with a larger organizational entity is good for both of us as long as it lasts.

I work to make some billionaires rich, but in return they allow me to survive another day.

[Gardenarian]

I am a librarian; it's not so much a job as a way of being. I will do it for free, once I retire. I would still call myself a librarian even if I were not working in a library.
That's not to say that I love going into work everyday. I would love going into work if I could make my own schedule.

But it's not my entire identity by a long shot - I'm also a hiker, writer, yogi, gardener, mom, and lots else!
One of the lovely things about being a librarian is that the more interests you have, the better a librarian you become. Oh, and a better person, too, I think.