Log in

View Full Version : my daughter is so talented



Zoe Girl
11-23-14, 11:39am
and it kinda breaks my heart that she is not/can't go to school for this.

Her boyfriend just posted some of her 'doodles' on facebook. I have no luck posting pictures here so you will just have to trust me. You can tell she has been watching Breaking Bad because the lead character's face is that good. Facebook tried to have them tagged as people they are so good. They are pencil drawings that have the shading, expression, lines, whatever all that is, to be so realistic. He said she lacks some motivation to do more with them however. That has been it, she has such a hard time with focus, either hyper focus or no focus. She lives on her own (at 25 mind you) partially because when she lives with me she absolutely does not clean things. When we need to communicate it is so hard to get a reply to a text and she does not answer her phone. One time I sent her brother to hang out with her and called him to ask her the important question, I think that is actually kinda funny thing about her. But it also means that this amazing talent isn't getting more focus and discipline so she can really do more with it, and she wants to. The one time she really had it all click in life was when she was taking ADD meds, then she had them stolen and got too unfocused to ever get them again in the last 4 years. I have told her boyfriend this, he agrees, but she has to agree.My dream for her would be a tattoo apprenticeship, a combination of art and she has 6 tattoos now that she designed herself. She also designed for her coworkers at the movie theater shooting.

Meanwhile I totally struggle with the same things, I have stuff to get into my Etsy store, I have never sold anything there. There is a small stock and I struggle to get photos and upload them and do the business part of it. I was going to do some craft fairs this fall but my partner went to Hawaii on a good opportunity and then it didn't work, she came back and has not kept in touch. I need a person to partner with, support, something. There are people who like my work, and then I end up giving most of it as gifts or otherwise not even covering my supplies.

However the anger comes in with her dad. He has a 6 figure income. I get good child support for another year and a half and am trying to save as much as possible to help my kids with school. I feel terrible that I still struggle, He is a narcissist and when I used to have more contact with him the attitude was that the kids needed to 'earn' things from him. So we all know he could be financially supportive of her going to school or having a tattoo apprenticeship. Many years ago we looked at the art schools and different things, I could still cry that he pulled out support. But bottom line is that with more focus my daughter could probably find ways to make this work. Just sadness.

Teacher Terry
11-23-14, 12:36pm
She is still very young so she may decide to pursue her goals later. She may decide to try the meds again too. I would be supportive & encouraging but not pushing. some people are just late bloomers.

Dhiana
11-23-14, 6:06pm
Art school is not a requirement to make a living as an artist. There are so many different ways she can make a living using her talents, she'll simply need to be creative with her career. There are so many changes happening in the art world most especially with the internet that makes formal art education unnecessary.

Most of all she needs to find her own path. She's not in high school or living with you any more. If she comes to you with a specific request for help that's one thing, but she is an adult and needs to make her own decisions.

Find a way to let your anger towards her father go. It sucks too much energy away from what you should be focusing on.

catherine
11-23-14, 7:03pm
Zoegirl, the motivation has to come from your DD. If she's not focused on her goal, no amount of support is going to help her. At the same time, once that motivation has kicked in, there will be no stopping her. I'm sure it's really easy to blame your ex for lack of support, and that truly s*cks. But as you said, your DD will find a way if it's meant to be. My DS figured out a way to get from being a high school dropout to becoming a lawyer with virtually no help from us (well, we did pay for his in-state undergrad tuition which was not a whole lot, but he got himself through law school). Dhiana is right--let go of the anger toward her father.

Karma
11-30-14, 12:55pm
I have a kid with an art degree but doesn't use it so just because she can go to art school won't make her use her talents. If she wants to go badly enough she will find a way. Count your blessings and let go of the rest.