new 35 year old neice

[margene]

My sister gave a baby up for adoption 35 years ago. I'm meeting her for the first time tonight. I'm so excited. She contacted me on facebook two weeks ago. She seems very open and not at all uncomfortable so hopefully everything goes well.

[flowerseverywhere]

Your post gave me the chills in a good way. Good luck.

[iris lilies]

This is very interesting, let us know how it goes.

Is your sister still alive?

[Gardenarian]

Wow, that's so exciting! I hope everything goes well.

[awakenedsoul]

That's exciting! Keep us posted...

[Float On]

Wonderful. I'm sure she has so many questions for you.

[margene]

My sister her bio mom is no longer alive. My other sister and my niece her bio sister went to meet her. On the surface it seemed good but I sensed some apprehension on her part which is understandable. Well hoping something more will come of it. Funny thing is her mom is currently living a half a mile from me. Although this is not where she grew up.

[Teacher Terry]

Hope it goes well!

[mamalatte]

margene - so nice that you are open to the experience and looking forward to meeting your niece. how did it go??

I was adopted as an infant and met some of my birth family at about the age of 35 also. On my birth mother's side, she had sadly passed away only a few years after having me, but others in the family were very welcoming, especially my grandmother, whom I met when she was over 90 already. She said she had always wondered what happened to "the baby," and had prayed that one day I would walk through the door of her house. On my birth father's side, he really had never expected to hear from me, and basically seemed upset when he did and wanted no contact. After he died, i contacted his kids, my half brother and half sister. He had never told them anything about me, so they were totally shocked, and basically disbelieving, when i contacted them. We have emailed a few times and also talked on the phone, but they are still very conflicted about the whole thing, especially since they don't know whether their father ever told their mother about me. This was not an "affair" situation, as my birth father apparently met and married his wife a while after I was born and he was no longer with my birth mother, etc. Still, my half brother and half sister are very concerned how hurt their mom might be if he also had never told her anything about me. My half sister told me that she so wishes her father would have felt like this was something he could talk to her about; she would have liked to talk to him about it, but now she never can.

Likewise, my brother was also adopted and his birth parents later got married, so my brother actually has a biological "full" brother and sister with the same parents as him. My brother has corresponded with his birth parents, especially his birth mother, but they will not tell their kids about his existence. He could reach out to them himself but has chosen not to for now. If I had a full or half sibling that had been given up for adoption, I would really want to know, and to meet the person!

Anyway, I am glad that you knew about the existence of your sister's child (did you always know since the time she had the baby?), and I hope it will be a positive experience meeting her. I visited my birth grandmother several times before she passed away and used to talk to her on the phone. I maintain very occasional contact with others in my birth family via phone and email. But even though I am not "close" with any of my birth family, it was such an important and special experience meeting them.

[margene]

Wow Thanks Mamalatte. So glad to get the perspective from the other side. Yes I knew, My sister is only two years older then me. She also has a full sister as my sister and the father reconnected briefly and had another daughter but again did not stay together. I hope I'm wrong but I don't feel like she left there feeling good about our meeting. I sent her a message on facebook the next day saying I was happy to meet her and wished to continue the relationship. So we will see what happens.