View Full Version : Recovery from Facebook
Well, I've spent an interesting year in Facebook. I am a fan of a trio of singers from Italy. I found a Facebook community that I guess could be defined as groupies to chum with. It's been a really interesting learning of social media for me, how it works, what it can do and the illusion it creates of community. And, how I fit into this community.
I am an introvert by nature and like my independence. Let's just say I found I had some issues with privacy, trying to mix and mingle with strangers, defining what is and isn't friendship, etc... All in all, it has it's value and it's good to understand how it all operates, but it's also wise to not become too involved. I see I took it all so seriously that I confused the on line friends with real friends. All in all, it's a bit of a popularity contest at times and the competitive nature of fans was most evident too often. Of course, there's just plain old nice folks everywhere. As a means of self expression, it has lots of potential and can be fun. But, as in anything too much is too much!
I am attempting to back away from it and gain some perspective. Let's say I am in Facebook Rehab :)
I do not wish to "recover" from Facebook. If I become bored with it, I'll stop looking at it. But, I don't consider F-book to be a vice or avoiding it a form of hipness or virtue, as some people evidently might----it's just whatever you want to do. I enjoy keeping up with what a selected group of people that I consider particularly stoopud are doing. These are not my F'book friends, but people I know that I consider to be very stoopud, that have F'book accounts. I have found that their F-book content reavealed that they were even stoopudder than I had originally thought. How do you like that? I'm trying to identify and list some of the common characteristics of really stoopid people. If you'd like, I'll list a few of them, sometime. Hope that helps you some. Thankk Mee.
Zoe Girl
12-20-14, 11:41am
i use Facebook very specifically. i have relatives i would not hear from otherwise, i get updated on cute kid pics and fun stuff like that, i have friends that i don't talk to all the time but i want to kept in touch with. Honesty only one of those is really different politically so i don't have much conflict. then i keep in touch with my buddhist groups and teachers i follow plus promote them. i cross post talks and events for the nun i work with and the local groups and some of the national teachers with those groups. i have learned one thing, the buddhist teachers i listen to are odd ducks! it is a good thing. the others, ones who post daily even about good things, i turn off the feed and just check in on them sometimes
Same here Zoe Girl,it enables a glance into some extended family spread all over the country.
I keep up with family and friends through FB. There's all kinds of political comments made; some are on my side, some aren't. I am not offended by anything on FB. If I don't like something, I scroll on by.
I joined a community of fans as I say to a musical group. I am interacting with virtual strangers with a common interest. I find the group highly focused on the celebrity. While I enjoy the music and the celebrity, I became more curious about Italian culture and now can speak some Italian. Also I explored food, wine, books on life in Italy, and now I am learning about Opera. I expanded on the Italian so far I am taking a vacation in Sicily. The majority of fans stayed on topic and weren't all that interested in too much culture. I found the majority are also retired or not working outside the home and spend all day on line. Mostly they comment on the group positively. Very nice but no real conversation or reality checks.
I found I was tuning in all the time and gave up hours to keep up with the chatter. Why is it so like that? What is it that sucks you in?
IshbelRobertson
12-20-14, 6:20pm
Not a member... And have no intention of joining ... Despite the blandishments of relatives and friends!
I have a Facebook Friend who used to be on this board, when Dave had it. I have a Facebook Friend who was my 8th-grade English Comp & Social Studies Teacher. I have 4 Facebook friends who were in the 6th grade with me. Maybe they are a littlebittybit 'centric, but none of them classify as "stoopud", okay? But, I still like spying on the stoopud non-friends. How do you like that?
Ishbel, I've got a Facebook Friend that has photos of her and her sister, wearing Kilts when they were in their high school marching drum corps. Check it out. Let me know if they look authentic enough.
I use(d) facebook primarily as a means to keep up with all the kids that were running through our place as my kids grew up. That still works, but most of them have moved on to other forms of communication to keep up with each other. The posts on my fb page are now weighted a little heavier on the side of people I grew up with. Not that I don't like to see what they're up to, but I really don't care that much...
My issue with it is that it became yet ANOTHER means of real-time communication. So do I have a cell call or a message on my voice mail or an email or a home phone call or a message on my answering machine or a text or a fax or someone knocking on the door or a letter in the mail or has someone contacted me on Facebook. I can enjoy perusing people's input, but being at everyone's beck and call on yet another form of media was the last straw. As an introvert - or maybe just a curmudgeon - having people in my face and my space includes having them there electronically "tapping their feet" waiting for my response.
Kib, I agree with what you are saying. Another expansion on our time and is it really adding to the quality of life, or just another distraction. Facebook does offer many ways to keep a low profile and participate in groups or pages people may enjoy. I mean you can be quite anonymous and control who sees the personal page and what is on it. I found that being in a part of a larger, extended group just steps into my privacy realm too far. Virtual friends, some of them, have a habit of looking over my friends list, commenting on how often I like or don't like other peoples posts, commenting on my page about what they don't like or other snarky comments. It's controlling at times. I think FB gives folks ways to go overboard on stalking. Like anything else, everybody has a wide range of boundaries and after getting used to the social network and interactions, I found I was uncomfortable with people wandering around my personal page as much as they were. People tended to share posts without asking. That habit I found too chummy.
Anyway, I am withdrawing and will maintain my page but retreat to a more positive place. It is somehow infectious if you let it be. I was a laggard to Facebook and only have been on it one year. So, I learned something new, it has a many positive values, but it's more important to try to socialize in my neighborhood if that is possible. One of the reasons it may be attractive is it's a distraction from issues that really matter in day to day life.
Would you kids mind giving me the names you registered your F-Book accounts under? That way, I can stalk you. If you don't mind. Hope that helps you some. Thankk Mee.
Would you kids mind giving me the names you registered your F-Book accounts under? That way, I can stalk you. If you don't mind. Hope that helps you some. Thankk Mee.
I'll give you mine if you'll first complete an application. Just send me your full name, home address, social security number and birth date and, once I've completed a background check, I'll get it in the mail to you.
I got to see new pictures of my grand-baby (I am birth grandma, my daughter is the birth mother) today because of FB. He is 2 1/2, already has a toy tardis. She picked well, in any case it was worth all the other posts
awakenedsoul
12-22-14, 7:30pm
Cypress,
I never joined Facebook. I always had a bad feeling about it. (like it could do potential damage to my reputation.) I did have a page for my business, but I never used it. I just put up the basic info.
I agree with what you're saying. I'm a private person, and I don't want all of my friends' friends knowing my personal business.
I have a neighbor that just had a huge fight with another neighbor on Facebook. They can't stand each other now. It just feels too Junior High School to me.
I'll give you mine if you'll first complete an application. Just send me your full name, home address, social security number and birth date and, once I've completed a background check, I'll get it in the mail to you.A good, professional-level Stalker like littlebittymee knows not to release any personal information--we only seek information about the Stalkee. That is my policy. Besides, I don't stalk anyone East of the Missssisssipppee, and since Cinnncinnnattteee is East of er--the big river, you are exempt. But, Awakenedsoul--you sound like you have things you don't want anyone to know. That, makes me very curious--so you may as well register for a F-Book Account, so I can stalk you.
A good, professional-level Stalker like littlebittymee knows not to release any personal information--we only seek information about the Stalkee. That is my policy. Besides, I don't stalk anyone East of the Missssisssipppee, and since Cinnncinnnattteee is East of er--the big river, you are exempt.
Would it help if I told you that I grew up on your side of the Mississippi, but a bit east of Springfield, and lived for several years in Alaska, your old stomping grounds? Don't be a hater, send me that info so I don't have to find it myself.
Kib, I agree with what you are saying. Another expansion on our time and is it really adding to the quality of life, or just another distraction. Facebook does offer many ways to keep a low profile and participate in groups or pages people may enjoy. I mean you can be quite anonymous and control who sees the personal page and what is on it. I found that being in a part of a larger, extended group just steps into my privacy realm too far. Virtual friends, some of them, have a habit of looking over my friends list, commenting on how often I like or don't like other peoples posts, commenting on my page about what they don't like or other snarky comments. It's controlling at times. I think FB gives folks ways to go overboard on stalking. Like anything else, everybody has a wide range of boundaries and after getting used to the social network and interactions, I found I was uncomfortable with people wandering around my personal page as much as they were. People tended to share posts without asking. That habit I found too chummy.
Anyway, I am withdrawing and will maintain my page but retreat to a more positive place. It is somehow infectious if you let it be. I was a laggard to Facebook and only have been on it one year. So, I learned something new, it has a many positive values, but it's more important to try to socialize in my neighborhood if that is possible. One of the reasons it may be attractive is it's a distraction from issues that really matter in day to day life.
The problem with the various facebook groups for shared interests is that the other members of the group have way too much access to you and info about you, at least in my opinion. I'm all for finding others with similar interests online (this board being a prime example for me). But as much as everyone here seems nice enough I have no intention of giving everyone here unfettered access to my facebook life. The only people who can see my facebook profile and posts and whatnot there are people who currently are, or at one time have been, in person friends of mine.
Yes, but: People like Mee and Big Al have a need to see what is going on, don't you see? I am very suspicious, since I don't know if you like Studebakers or Catts or whattt? For aall I know, jp1 is a completely fake person! Just like those "13-year old girls" online that are really bored, middle-aged cops in a small town, setting up "dates" and entrapping 30-year old men, instead of going out and writing speeding tickets or apprehending thugs, like they should. Makes them feel like heroes, fighting crime by causing one. Are you a cop, jb1?
I'm not a cop. I'm actually a Nigerian prince. I've tried to keep a pretty low profile with that part of my past, but once I fully trust everyone here I'm going to give you all the opportunity to send me a little money to help me get my huge fortune out of Nigeria, which I will generously share with everyone on simple living.
I'm not a cop. I'm actually a Nigerian prince. I've tried to keep a pretty low profile with that part of my past, but once I fully trust everyone here I'm going to give you all the opportunity to send me a little money to help me get my huge fortune out of Nigeria, which I will generously share with everyone on simple living.
I wondered what happened to you. I noticed your weekly emails stopped some time ago, but I thought it was because I cranked up my spam filter.
I'll give you mine if you'll first complete an application. Just send me your full name, home address, social security number and birth date and, once I've completed a background check, I'll get it in the mail to you.
LOL
Packy, you are sooo close to the real thing. I had a minor relapse in Facebook. Honestly, I love the group I follow, but not the fan group. They are so focused and forget some of the basics around sharing posts and comments. I was in a closed group for a little while as I love this artist and genuinely try to enjoy and join with others. I warned the admin that I was skitish about sharing, had problems with people sharing posts right off my page without asking, having my name come off artwork and publications. I love to create artistic marketing type of displays around the artist. Some are quite good and original. Well, I tend to stay on my page only and share with what friends I have there. I have had to weed out a few people as they constantly shared without asking and I lost credit. I specifically tell people, ask me to tag you and I am happy to, that way, everything goes from my page to another just as it was created with all credit to the originator. Well, I told the admin not to share off my page, but she shared two posts recently and as some of the members in this subgroup couldn't see the post because I was not friends with them, and I protect my material, she went and copied and pasted all the text off my personal page into this group for all to read. Someone seems to have asked her to do this as they couldn't see the post. She never asked me! Never considered it for a second.
This is the behavior that makes me nutty. I believe these folks think they are being friendly somehow. My name was on it, she thanked me for sharing?
So, I just left the group and dropped her as a friend. Especially when I say to admins, be thoughtful, always ask, I have a sensitive artists nature at times. OH, It's a good thing I am talking to adults who understand the invasive habits of people. Facebook is made up of lovely people, but everybody's comfort level is vastly different and I find very few friends who appreciate that.
Well what family I do have left does not post much. I am not interested in someone's marble collection and I don't think I am going to save the world by playing any games nor reposting pics of desperate animals that I just want to adopt. 2015 is going to be my year of getting out there and doing something about it. The minute I post something about supporting x,y,z...well that hate starts or people read into it and get all bent out of shape. I don't need that energy right now. Then, there are the people I used to work with, as in friends with the horrible last boss I had. I don't need them reporting back to her (which I found out happens because I had lunch with someone who mentioned something I posted about- an internship I had taken) so they are discussing me. That is the thing, I don't feel like I want to hold back. I still have my business FB page and I am growing that but I made a deal only to post 4x a week with myself- pretty much every other day. I am going back to my introverted ways.
After having to deal with a wing nut girlfriend of the BIL, whom we never met and was bleeding him dry, and having her attack me, my SIL and other's after the passing of my BIL, I am done with FB for now. I am just going to log off and remove the app from my phone. Tomorrow is my last day on there.
Groups: Yah, Cypress- there are several I subscribe to. I found one that was very interesting, but as time went by, a bunch of rabble-rousing kids came on board, started posting stuff that was either not germaine to the groups' original purpose, or illegal. So, I bailed out of that one. Some groups are not active, but more or less serve as a fanbase registry--like one for a long-defunct radio station, here. Other groups pop up and catch on, have quite a bit of traffic, and are quite interesting. Funny thing is, there is a small town waaay up north in the middle o' nowhere that has a group, and it is dull. Very Ho-Hum. Yet, there is another small town in the same state of maybe 10-11,000 population that has no less than 3 boards, and they are very lively. Lots of cool stuff. Really, the interest Groups are every bit as interesting as stalking the stooped people. Plus, with Facebook--you can block people on groups who are downright rude and obnoxious. How do you like that?
GreenMama is a goddess! Packy you get it! This group is so grounding. Yes deleting the app from the dang iPhone is the answer. Am I so brave?
I am working on that status Cypress... ;)
Seriously, I deleted my linked in, my FB on my phone, signed out of my FB on my laptop, I am off Instagram.
I do play around with Pinterest for ideas and fun but I limit that to 1x a week. :)
awakenedsoul
12-29-14, 5:59pm
When I owned my dance studio, one of my students posted a tape of my choreography on Youtube. She didn't even ask me! She even typed in my business name! I did NOT want this on Youtube. It was a group of adult beginners. She wanted it up there so she could send it to all of her friends. I dropped her from my program. She had boundary issues. She was an alcoholic, too.
This kind of thing is why I don't do Facebook. When I attend auditions, the creative team will google me. I want what comes up to be professional, including the photos...
the PTA at our school took photos at the 5K we do every year and i had to ask them not to post. i knew one kid was blocked from having his picture put out anywhere because of some unsafe family members. Generally it is okay but i always check my releases or talk to families before i would post anything on the school FB.
For myself i am an admin of one group. i get a lot of friend requests and i don't approve everyone. the last posting of bags and shoes for sale was from someone i did not approve but another admin did. Not a huge deal, i deleted the post and the person. But i actually look at these things (even though it is for a buddhist nun so i try to let everyone who may have an interest join) And i am willing to address issues, that makes a group more comfortable.
tonight i had to cancel our meditation due to weather and FB is the easiest way to let people know. i have been telling people at groups to check FB or give me their email address for these times. i don't want anyone going out in an icey storm just for a cancelled group
For those of you looking for something other than Facebook to occupy your time, there is findagrave.com It is a volunteer organization that has set about essentially cataloguing cemeteries. They have really progressed, in the last few years. Also, just for fun, there is an online site called: "Used To Be A Pizza Hut". We have several former Huts here that are still used as restaurants; just not as pizza joints. I must submit them. Also, the Studebaker Addicts Group on F'book devotes a fair amount of time identifying buildings that formerly housed Studebaker dealerships. I'll just have to take my camera, and photograph the building here that was one, and post it on there. How do you like that?
Thanks :) the key is to replace this nonsense with something more fulfilling and worthy of what free time I have. I like to be creative and FB does give that advantage of combining language and imagery fairly easily.
I do have a neglected blog that's actually part of this posting in the signature. I haven't the hardware at home to keep it going as much as I like. But, this year that should be changing as soon as I figure out which tablet or small laptop to buy. I cannot work from home as I am too far away from WiFi. So, one more obstacle to sort out. It's in Wordpress.com and I wonder if I can switch it to wordpress.org? I believe it's the same company but I need to buy from somewhere to publish the blog page. .com is free.
I am moving off into another genre of music and should have plenty to write about and enjoy. I started learning about opera the last few months and finally, at the age of 50 something, discovered Mozart's operas. THEY ARE EXQUISITE! So, my interests are moving on and so to, my interest in that group. That will help me move on and make it a natural letting go and not a forced attempt. Better to leave happy.
The other reason I think I am having problems with pesky FB friends is I approach my page as a professional writer, I am thoughtful of copyright, rules of publication, etc... and probably the majority of that crowd haven't a clue about integrity in publication. I think it's all a great lark and a big pajama party to most folks. Somebody mentioned what the outside world sees and that is always in my thoughts. I might be the only one. I always saw this as a way to market or self-publish. You really never know who you are talking to.
rodeosweetheart
12-31-14, 9:22am
When my best friend's daughter killed herself over something a mean little b**ch wrote on FB, I deleted my account, and I urge everyone to do the same, although of course, ymmv. Many use it for their business.
But many of us really loathe it and will not do business on FB, so there is that to consider if it is part of one's business plan.
SteveinMN
12-31-14, 5:42pm
But many of us really loathe it and will not do business on FB, so there is that to consider if it is part of one's business plan.
rodeosweetheart, I'm sorry about your best friend's daughter's death.
One of my sixth-grade classmates hanged himself after concluding his life wasn't worth it. If I did the math right, that would have been about 40 years before Facebook became any kind of A Thing. Seems like highly-sensitive souls have always been among us.
More generally...
Not to defend Facebook unduly, but about 150 million people in the U.S. and Canada alone (a little less than half of us) log into Facebook every day. Five-to-six times that many more people in the rest of the world log into Facebook every day. About 1.5 million companies advertise on Facebook (globally) and one out of every ten dollars spent on digital advertising is spent on Facebook. Before I took Facebook advertising out of my business plan, I'd check the numbers.
I haven't participated before in this thread because, honestly, it's struck me as another one of those "I'm-too-cool-for-this" threads. Facebook certainly has its issues. I am careful about what I post because, once spawned, posts can have a life of their own. But so could memos and emails sent at work (Sony Corp. anyone?); so would risque pictures (former Congressman Anthony Wiener). I dislike the constant changes in privacy policies and how intertwined Web cookies are set so that if I looked for tea pot cozies on-line today, I'd see ads for them tomorrow (on Facebook and other on-line services).
If someone looks at Facebook and sees nothing but cat videos, "Share if you have a sibling" posts, and invitations to play "Candy Cows" -- maybe it's not Facebook. Maybe it's your collection of family and friends. That ain't Facebook's fault. I've learned to skim. There are certain people on my friends list who are prone to posting their results from the "Which Colonial Argentinian Poet Are You?" quizzes. Scroll by. A friend who posts the nastiest recipes involving lots of excessively-processed food. Scroll by. A few family members who post a ton of stuff that, I guess to their minds, stand in for real activism. Scroll by. I'm pretty aggressive with turning off notifications or unfollowing and I'm okay with risking that I miss that really cool post if 95% of the rest of it is a waste of time.
This morning I learned of the death of a second cousin of mine after a very brief illness. We weren't hugely close, but we connected on Facebook and discussed photography and how members of the family half a country away were doing at any given time. I learned of his passing on Facebook, too.
By all means, if Facebook turns you off, don't use it. If you mind being "the product" in exchange for Facebook being free, don't use it (oh, and get rid of your GMail account and change your search engine). If you see lots of patently ridiculous postings on Facebook, like those oft-copied-and-recopied jokes on paper that made the rounds before computers, don't use it.
But about half the connected planet thinks differently. People probably thought the world was going to h*ll in a handbasket when visiting by calling people on the phone replaced calling on them at their homes (the reason for "calling cards"). Railing against Facebook (and twitter and Instagram and flickr and myspace and tumblr and Google everything that came before and will be here next) as a proxy for All That Is Wrong Today is, IMHO, misplaced. Jeez, there's nothing I could put on Facebook that the NSA doesn't already know about...
Facebook and its ilk are just built on technology. It is what you make of it. Running water can save a dehydrated person. It also can waterboard. It can be used for good or evil. Not everyone who uses water is bad.
catherine
12-31-14, 5:58pm
I agree with Steve--FB has its good points and bad. Just today I got a friend request from someone completely out of the blue--a woman I worked with in my corporate life 30 years ago!! It was truly nice to hear from her.
Also, I started a secret family group page, and it has helped to keep the extended family together. I just "friended" a 1st cousin once removed who lives in TN and now she can keep up with what's happening with the rest of her kinfolk in the NE. I love that part.
It's not all wine and roses.. I watch what I post. If DH ever became active, WWIII could ensue. But as long as he stays disinterested in it, we're all good :)
There are certain people on my friends list who are prone to posting their results from the "Which Colonial Argentinian Poet Are You?" quizzes.
You didn't take that test? I got "Leopoldo Marechal". "occasionally leaning toward the vanguard you tend to be more comfortable with novelty that has a touch of classical style."
I question the validity of that test since, if my history classes were correct, he postdates the colonial period by quite a bit. But if a facebook quiz says it's true it must be so... ;)
ApatheticNoMore
12-31-14, 6:26pm
By all means, if Facebook turns you off, don't use it. If you mind being "the product" in exchange for Facebook being free, don't use it (oh, and get rid of your GMail account and change your search engine).
I've never had a Gmail account, so I'd have to create one in order to delete it. I already do use a different search engine.
Is there anything on facebook that isn't scroll by? Good for developing carpal tunnel I guess. How about instead one tries going without Facebook for several months (don't even have to "permanently" delete the account) and sees if they even miss it at all? I'll bet most people wouldn't even miss it after a few months. It's just a habit, like biting one's nails or something, and about as rewarding.
I may have gotten a little bit out of it when there, but overall also felt really good walking away from it, the good feeling included knowing I wasn't supporting FB, that felt good. I think they rely on it being easier to join than leave (rather like the hotel California) and that much of it is inertia that keeps people there.
Is there anything on facebook that isn't scroll by?
Depends on your friends and family. I suppose if all they do is post dozens of pictures of their babies, it's all scroll by. If they have something more interesting to say then "isn't my baby freakin' cute???", maybe not.
rodeosweetheart
12-31-14, 7:32pm
In one of the psych classes I teach, I have my students engage in an observational activity where they observe their thoughts and feelings while on 3 different sites of their choosing. I suggest Facebook as one of the sites.
Interestingly, about 85% of the students associate the feelings of "hostility" and "irritation" with Facebook, even though they report liking Facebook and looking forward to going on it.
But when they actually do go on it for the activity, they report veering into negative feelings fairly quickly, about 85% of the time. And the words they use are, with great regularity, "hostility" and "irritation."
They report being surprised by how irritated and hostile they actually feel.
Interesting.
Facebook is just a microcosm of the rest of the world, IMO. If you have a tough time setting boundaries in real life, you're likely to do the same on Facebook. If you have braggarts in your real life, you'll likely encounter them on Facebook too.
I personally like keeping in touch with folks I used to work with- I like to hear what's going on with their lives, but don't necessarily want to have lunch/dinner with them every month. I hear about common culture, so I'm aware of what's going on without watching network TV. My dad posts those "share if you have a daughter who's awesome posts, even though he would never say that to me in real life. I like people sharing pictures of their life and their families. I only have one person who boasts constantly of how important she is/how accomplished who makes me feel completely inadequate. But you know if it wasn't Facebook, it would be through some other medium.
ApatheticNoMore
12-31-14, 10:04pm
I actually got off one year for new years or there abouts - last few weeks of the year (takes two weeks of not logging in for the account to be "permanently" deleted). It was a new years resolution of sorts (new year, no FB), not a particularly difficult one of course, not like it was "lose 10 pounds" or something, but did kind of resolve to be done with it.
Facebook is just a microcosm of the rest of the world, IMO. If you have a tough time setting boundaries in real life, you're likely to do the same on Facebook. If you have braggarts in your real life, you'll likely encounter them on Facebook too.
This.
I buried a similar statement in my earlier post. From Facebook I have met and gotten close with [and met in real life] relatives it would have been much harder to find and keep up with outside of it. I've learned of engagements, marriages, divorces, births, deaths, new jobs, retirements, life's "wins" and life's "downers". Sure, I would have heard about many of those events at some time or another through other means, but Facebook makes it simpler and more timely and -- most times -- more direct.
If all you see on Facebook is stuff you want to scroll past, well, Facebook doesn't create this content on its own. AFAIK no one is making anyone else post Likes and Shares at gunpoint. It's being done by the family and friends you approved as Friends -- and the access you choose to not restrict through Facebook's visibility/privacy settings. Declaring Facebook a waste of time because of that carelessness (or lack of setting boundaries; I like that description) is blaming the messenger.
awakenedsoul
1-2-15, 5:55pm
In one of the psych classes I teach, I have my students engage in an observational activity where they observe their thoughts and feelings while on 3 different sites of their choosing. I suggest Facebook as one of the sites.
Interestingly, about 85% of the students associate the feelings of "hostility" and "irritation" with Facebook, even though they report liking Facebook and looking forward to going on it.
But when they actually do go on it for the activity, they report veering into negative feelings fairly quickly, about 85% of the time. And the words they use are, with great regularity, "hostility" and "irritation."
They report being surprised by how irritated and hostile they actually feel.
Interesting.
I've noticed that with a neighbor who goes on Facebook. She's in the middle of a fight with her next door neighbor there. She seems SO ANGRY. She's always checking her phone. She's a really nice lady, too.
My dear sister who is an alcoholic and has bipolar disorder was always posting confrontational and disturbing things on Facebook when she was experiencing her extreme highs and lows, despite medication. Her rantings upset me greatly on a daily basis, but I just couldn't scroll by it, I felt the need to read it all since she is my sister and I care very much about her. I and others in my family have tried to help her over and over with disappointing results... The day I closed my FB down was a very freeing day for me. I am no longer upset about my sister's behavior on a daily basis, which is very helpful to my own mental health... She knows how to reach me if she needs anything, so I definitely haven't abandoned her, but I don't have to be upset about her every day of my life now.
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