Gift ideas for sedentary seniors with no interests?

[pinkytoe]

Every year we wait until the last minute to come up with something for my elderly in laws....because we have run out of ideas. Though we have asked, they expect gift exchanges so can't avoid the situation. Their only activities are going to doctors and watching TV. In the recent past, we gave them gift cards to restaurants or bookstores but now they are afraid to drive anywhere. Got them a Kindle but they refuse to use. They used to love to eat but now have medical issues that severely restrict what they eat - no more fresh grapefruit or pecans. They won't use the internet so no online shopping. They are beseiged with sweaters, robes, sleepwear, slippers ie the usual suspects. Please...any ideas???

[Aqua Blue]

There are other foods besides grapefruit and pecans.s :) Apples, bananas, frozen meals(there are lots and lots for specific diets), fruit of the month club, Meats that they are having a hard time affording, flower of the month club. etc.

How about services? window washing, house cleaning, small painting project, declutter help, car washing.

For the really housebound stamps, envelopes, greeting cards, calendar with family birthdays on it and cards to go along with it.

Donation to service they use like Meals on Wheels. Magazine subscription. TV guide subscription. amaryllis or tulips to force into early bloom.

Ask them, maybe there is something specific that they would enjoy. I have to admit that as an adult no one has ever asked me what I wanted for Christmas. :)

[iris lilies]

I'm going to venture a guess here: it's not what you get them, its the act of of receiving a gift, opening it with its rustling paper, talking over its function and attractiveness, that they find comforting. They like the ritual.

So if I were you I'd go into any big box store, buy a few things from their center aisle holiday display (where they put generic gifts) that are shiny and useless. Make sure one of them is a "new" cultural thing that you can talk to the elderly in-law about how it's the latest thing and so wonderful, and they can marvel over your cleverness and their ability to "keep up" in the world. I'm thinking that every Christmas there is a useless new kitchen small appliance that's touted as the "new" thing. I believe that the one I saw in Target was a slow cooker in a new style cooker.

If you remove your own bias about them having too much stuff, you'll find that, in a way, these people are easier to buy for than many. I'm reading your summary to mean that they want gifts and don't care what you get them. Just pile on the crap, and that's always easy.

But, if they have specific preferences, ask them as a PP says.

[JaneV2.0]

I'm going to venture a guess here: it's not what you get them, its the act of of receiving a gift, opening it with its rustling paper, talking over its function and attractiveness, that they find comforting. They like the ritual....
If you remove your own bias about them having too much stuff, you'll find that, in a way, these people are easier to buy for than many. ...
But, if they have specific preferences, ask them as a PP says.

Emphasis mine. I'm sure it wasn't your intent to convey contempt for these people. Iris Lily's suggestion about getting them the latest kitchen small electrical is good too--as is her analysis that they just want to feel cared for and involved--that gift is priceless. Chits for services are good, maybe packaged with little stocking stuffers like tea and soaps.

[awakenedsoul]

My mom is pretty sedentary now. I gave she and my dad hand knit alpaca blankets, and they love them! It gets cold there, and I picked yarn that matched their decor. I also made my dad a set of hand knit silk and merino wool coasters. They use them for their cocktails each evening.

Last week I sent them a tin of Scottish Victorian shortbread from T.J. Maxx. They loved the tin, and are enjoying the cookies. In the past I've given them hand knit socks, hats, shawls, and vests. I think the meat is a good idea. I've brought lamb from Costco to them, and they loved it! Same thing with the free range turkey I gave them one Thanksgiving.

Hope you find something they enjoy and can use!

[sweetana3]

They probably have a use for stamps. It is too late right now but you can have customized postage stamps made from family photographs. My mil loves these. So we try to get a picture, either currrent or historic, and make up a page of stamps. One year we did their wedding picture and another year a picture of mom with a mascot from an event we went to. She keeps one as a souvenier and uses the rest.

www.zazzle.com is the place we use.

This year we got mom books, two special desk calendars for a hobby she loves, a jigsaw puzzle, a shawl and some handmade cloth bags for traveling.

[kimberlyf0]

Do they eat jams/jellies? Our elderly neighbor loved to receive apple butter every year. How about nice soaps or body washes, shampoos, etc.? A good herbal muscle rub? New pillows? A sparkling water maker like a Soda Stream? A beautiful easy care houseplant?

The nicest gift would probably be to do something with them if you live close enough. Being afraid to drive is real and at the same time can make life lonely. Maybe you could take them to the restaurant to use the gift card? Or if you don't live close by maybe you can look into senior transportation services and arrange a pass for them?

I suspect that giving up the gifting might make them feel like they are giving in an acknowledging the end. Plus giving up the exchange might make them feel judged for all the gifts given in the past.

[pinkytoe]

All good ideas...still ruminating.

[rodeosweetheart]

My dad still loves to get books. I also send them DVD's, although that hasn't been such a hit lately. I send mom candles because she really likes them, and I sent dad crossword puzzles and a very nice Cross pen to do the crossword with. I sent Mom seeds last year and she grew enough squash to feed them everyday, although she is not sedentary. His health makes him sedentary. They have loved things that reminded them of earlier times in their life--I sent them a framed picture of a hotel where they used to go for drinks when they were young. You can find neat books of towns, with pictures, that seem to cover when they were young--that is fun. I also found recipe books from the Depression era, when they grew up, and that was fun, for them to see and use recipes from when they were growing up. I have toyed with idea of collecting old postcards in a scrapbook, of places they knew when they were young.

The blanket idea is nice. I sent my dad an inexpensive light down jacket that he loves because he gets cold and it's light to wear inside. I sent him some Marine Corps things that he loves because they make him laugh and reminisce about the Corps--one was a shirt that says, "If you are reading this, thank a teacher. If you are reading this in English, thank a Marine." Not very PC, but he loves it, and wears it to the grocery store.

[JaneV2.0]

I'm impressed with depth and breadth of suggestions here. I'm coming to you guys if I'm struggling next year!

[awakenedsoul]

Yeah, these are great. rodeosweetheart's post made me remember that I've given my dad a package of Uniball pens from Costco as a gift. He loves them, and uses them all year playing bridge. I've also bought him a large container of Smokehouse almonds from Costco. He's always very appreciative of those, and snacks on them before dinner with his cocktails. One year I made him homemade granola with dried apricots or dried cranberries. He ate it every morning for breakfast.

I've given my mom David Austin roses. They have beautiful English roses that are bare root. I've also sent her their cut flower arrangements, which are stunning! (They're expensive, though.) Each year I buy her their calendar every year. I wait until January when you can get them at half price.

[Teacher Terry]

All of you have offered a lot of good suggestions. I usually give candy, nuts, hickory farm packages or flowers to people that fall in this category.

[Tradd]

For these situations, I've given a greeting card organizer (wirebound with pockets for each month) with a selection of inexpensive cards in each month, accompanied by several books of stamps, and some pens. I know an elderly person who doesn't get out much who indicated she loved mini-legal pads. I gave those as a gift with some pens, and she was thrilled.

Homemade coupons for grocery shopping/delivery by you (recipient still pays for groceries, you shop off their list) have been a hit, too.

[Songbird]

Pinky toe, I think since your in-laws rarely get out anymore it would be a really nice if you took them out to their favorite restaurant. They would enjoy both the meal and your company...

Also, since you say they are avid TV watchers I am wondering if they own a DVD player? If so, maybe some DVDs of their favorite old movies or shows. For example, my Mother loved the old I Love Lucy show so I bought her a DVD that had a compilation of the best of the the shows from the series. She absolutely loved it! If they don't own a DVD player that would make a good gift as well, although maybe a little expensive.

[ejchase]

Boy, I wish I'd seen this sooner. I always have trouble buying for the elderly people in my life.

This year, I got my stepfather Harry and David pears, which I think he enjoyed. They were pretty inexpensive and easy to order online.

I also remember my sister once buying my eighty-something grandmother a really lovely necklace one year, and I thought that was so considerate. Like the rest of us, my grandmother liked feeling pretty, even at eighty, and my sister's gift really seeemed to support and celebrate that.

I second the DVD's idea (though DVD's are disappearing fast!). I got my dad a collection of Marx Brothers movies and also a DVD that was a collection of TV appearances by the Marx Brothers - on old commercials and TV shows. He seemed to like that.

In any case, I'm printing out this thread now for next year!

[pinkytoe]

I sense a huge business opportunity here...an old people store. Just kidding of course.

[awakenedsoul]

I notice that my parents really appreciate the gifts. They're kind of like little kids. One year I sent my dad homemade lemon bars. I made the shortbread crust, used organic lemons from my tree, and eggs from my chickens. He asked my mom, why the lemon bars that I made him taste so much better than the ones that the neighbor made? He noticed the difference of the details, even at 83.

[Tradd]

I sense a huge business opportunity here...an old people store. Just kidding of course.

That already exists - Vermont Country Store. Take a look at their website.

[larknm]

Gifts to my parents would not have been welcome. Their tastes were settled and other stuff just a nuisance to figure out what to do with. Now that I'm old, if relatives wanted to give me something, I'd like to be asked what I'd like--for a short list maybe so I could answer honestly. And if I said I didn't want a present, I'd want that to be respected. I got some presents when I was younger from relatives and most of them were just evidence that we didn't know each other well enough for that to be a meaningful activity.