My dog's last days

[Gardenarian]

My dog has had a recurring cancer and now it has spread to his brain. He has lost the sight in one eye and is very wobbly on his feet. We don't know how long he has - days, weeks - but I would love your input into how to make his final days just as good as they can be.

The vet had no suggestions, aside from drugs. My dog does not seem to be in a lot of pain, thank goodness. We are of course giving him lots of cuddles and all his favorite foods, and walking him as he is able. I wish there was more I could do.

All suggestions are welcome. Maybe this is more about me coming to terms with losing him than about him. I never fully bonded with this dog until he became very ill about 8 months ago, and I have quite a lot of guilt about that.

I'm also wondering how our other dog will adjust to his loss, and how we can make things easier for her.

:(

[CathyA]

So sorry Gardenarian! It's just so hard to lose a pet.

It sounds like you're doing everything you can. I would spend a lot of time with him, talking to him, comforting him, and yes, expressing your sadness with yourself for not getting closer to him earlier. But I'm so glad you had 8 months of being closer with him. And you still have NOW.
It's funny, but in my experience with various pets, their illness did bring us closer together in every case.
So be kind to yourself, and just support your pet any way you know how.......and talk to him always.
(((hugs))))

[catherine]

I agree with Cathy.. I'm so sorry. I know how devastating it is to lose a pet. I really have no advice to give you--you know your dog, so I'm sure you're giving him what he needs. Just wanted to lend my support.

[SteveinMN]

That's sad news, Gardenarian!

It's hard to know just what pets/animals know of their situation beyond the immediate results of illness or pain. But I think showing your dog you care about him as much as ever (or more so if he needs that) is absolutely the best thing to do. That and not letting him suffer too long for not wanting to make the decision he really cannot make for himself.

[kimberlyf0]

I am so sorry!

As for the last days, I would take some time to think about the actual last day. Perhaps it isn't frugal, but having a veterinarian come to our house for home euthanasia was the best thing we ever did for our female dog when her time to cross the rainbow bridge came. She didn't have to experience the stress of going to the vet (and it had become very stressful because of her illness). It was also the best thing for the human members of the family, as we were able to grieve privately, and since my boys had already seen their grandmother pass away at home with hospice, losing a dog this way made sense to them. One chose to be in the room with us and one didn't. Even our male dog came into the room afterward and while I can't know what he was thinking, I do know that he never went looking for her.

You'll be in my thoughts.

[rodeosweetheart]

I'm really sorry, Gardenarian. In our doggie's last days, we planned a last trip.to the beach, although my husband had to carry him in and out of the car.
I like Kimberly's idea about the vet coming to your house, if that is a possibility.

[JaneV2.0]

I agree--at home euthanasia is the kindest way. I'm so sorry this has been a long, drawn-out illness for your much-loved dog.

[KayLR]

I think the home euthanasia idea is huge! I will NEVER forget the awful feeling of taking my beloved retriever mix to the vet that very last time. It just felt awful, and the look in her eyes was just pathetic, like, why here? Won't you stay with me? (In those days they would not allow you to accompany them).

You know your pet best---just love him and you'll know when it's time. I'm so sorry. They just steal our hearts when we adopt them. Then they break.

[Float On]

I was going to mention home euthanasia as well and to allow your other dog to see him after so it has closure.

Some video floated around not long ago about a couple that did their dog's bucket list. Its a great video, I know I was in tears.

[Tussiemussies]

I am so very sorry for what you are going through. It is so very hard to see a loved pet terminally ill. The best thing I did for my dogs was to pray many, many times that they would go naturally at home, and all three of them did at their time. My last girl died in her favorite spot on the bed. The other two were not in their favorite spot. I agree with all others if need be to have your dog put down at home. All three of mine hated going to the vet so that would have been so terrible for them. Will be thinking of you and your dog...
Christine

[Teacher Terry]

I have had to do this a few times & it was so hard. I always made them a good steak dinner the nite before. I read a story about a man that took the day off from work & took his dog to do all his favorite things-a walk, sleeping together in the sun, special food/extra treats, etc. I also prayed really hard for 2 of my dogs to die in their sleep but it didn't happen so I finally had to make the decision. WE have 4 old dogs now & I am dreading when that starts to happen again. Sending a long distance hug>8). Take care.

[iris lilies]

I have had to do this a few times & it was so hard. I always made them a good steak dinner the nite before. I read a story about a man that took the day off from work & took his dog to do all his favorite things-a walk, sleeping together in the sun, special food/extra treats, etc. I also prayed really hard for 2 of my dogs to die in their sleep but it didn't happen so I finally had to make the decision. WE have 4 old dogs now & I am dreading when that starts to happen again. Sending a long distance hug>8). Take care.

I did this for my first bulldog. I took the day off from work and we went to the park. Then we stopped in the Park House to visit cops. She LOVED the policemen there. Then we went to McDonald's drive-through and had a hamburger. Then we just drove around for a while with the car windows open, and finally stopped for ice cream. She had a good day, and most important, she still felt good and could enjoy it.

She had cancer that was manifesting in big lesions and those were getting bigger and deeper.She was on prednisone and wasn't in much pain, but I decided to euthanize her while she was still bright eyed. I didn't see the point in keeping her alive only to have large patches of rotting flesh.

[Teacher Terry]

It is so hard to find that fine line between too soon & not soon enough. My hubby always thinks it is too soon no matter what. When I have everyone I know asking why the dog is still alive & he says no then I make the decision myself. This is one of the toughest things about being a pet owner. Each dog takes a piece of my soul when they leave & I think about them forever. I then adopt again when I am ready in their honor to help another homeless dog get a home. Although, we do intend to downsize to 1 by natural attrition because it is so hard to travel with 4. I had my dogs cremated & their ashes will be mixed & buried with me when I die. Some people think that is silly but I don't care. IL sounds like your dog had a great life.

[awakenedsoul]

What a great thread! So sorry about your dog, Gardenarian. These are all wonderful ideas. When I euthanized my dogs at the vet, I brought their beds in with me. They seemed to really appreciate it. It's funny, all three of the dogs I've put down here have LOVED the vet. They wiggle and get excited when we pull into the parking lot. But, they've only had short, positive experiences there. My rescued dog, (who is terrified of men,) loves this vet, too. She wags her tail when she's on the examination table and it thumps loudly against the wall. He gets a kick out of her. He said that the sound of my voice makes her tail wag...
I would talk a lot to your dog. You said that you didn't bond with this dog right away. I would apologize for that and explain. They are so sensitive and forgiving. I'm glad that you feel bonded now.
I always ask my dogs to tell me when it's time to put them to sleep. They give me a sign. I like tussimussie's idea of praying for them to die in their sleep. My pot bellied pig passed away during the night under our pine tree. It was very peaceful...

[kimberlyf0]

My girl had always loved the vet until she got ill; she had a bladder tumor and the vet suspected some dementia as well (or even just that the sensation of always needing to go but not being able to was driving her batty). Her separation anxiety went sky high as well. We knew it was time when my grandmother had a stroke and we had to leave our dog outside all day; the neighbor told us that she (the dog, well the neighbor too but she was understanding) was miserable and howled all day long. At that point we knew that we were going to have many days that we would be gone all day and that our dog simply couldn't take it anymore. Honestly, we probably pushed her past where she was ready to go, but she was such a sweet dog and always happy when she was with us, right up until the end. Her last few days were full of many short walks and lots of cuddles and snuggling together; she wasn't really temped by food at that point. She really just wanted to be with us.

[pony mom]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's very difficult but also a huge relief to relieve their suffering or disability. My dog didn't like strangers in the house so I took her to the vet but had her euthanized outside, on the grass under a tree. She never went inside so she thought she was at a park.

If you're open minded contact an animal communicator (NOT a "pet psychic"). They may help ease your mind on how your dog is feeling. He may even be ready to leave his body now. My AC said that they're not attached to their bodies and when they stop working for them, they're more than ready to move on to the next phase.

Definitely let your other dog be there during the procedure or to visit after it's done. The one left behind needs to know that their friend is gone. Spending lots of time with him and doing his favorite things is making him happy. They live in the moment and don't worry about the future.

[Float On]

I don't know about anybody else but I took the dog for a car ride tonight, just because I hadn't let him have a car ride for a few months. TomDog will have happy dreams tonight.

[iris lilies]

It is so hard to find that fine line between too soon & not soon enough. My hubby always thinks it is too soon no matter what. When I have everyone I know asking why the dog is still alive & he says no then I make the decision myself. This is one of the toughest things about being a pet owner. Each dog takes a piece of my soul when they leave & I think about them forever. I then adopt again when I am ready in their honor to help another homeless dog get a home. Although, we do intend to downsize to 1 by natural attrition because it is so hard to travel with 4. I had my dogs cremated & their ashes will be mixed & buried with me when I die. Some people think that is silly but I don't care. IL sounds like your dog had a great life.

DH is rather like that too, I can't count on him to make The Decision, it always has to be me.

That is why, for a while, I wanted my brother, not DH, to be my medical POA because I didn't think that DH could pull the plug on me as quickly as I would want it. But he has since convinced me that he would.

[kimberlyf0]

My parents chose me to have medical POA because they said I was the only child of theirs who would actually act on their wishes.

I was thinking about this thread when my male GSD came and communicated with me this evening. He is so sweet about it; usually it means he wants to go out potty, but tonight I realized that in all the illness he had missed a meal (even though the child asked to feed him had been reminded several times). My female GSD doesn't communicate in the same way; she whines and "talks", whereas he just comes to me, lays his head on my knee, and thinks at me.

[Gardenarian]

Thanks for all the suggestions, support, & tea and sympathy.
We have talked to the vet and home euthanasia is what we'll be doing.

Float on - thanks for the idea of a bucket list. This is something we can all work on together, and give us a sense of purpose (and a little humor) during this tough time.

I almost wish my dog were not so smart, so aware of what is going on. But he gets it, every bit. It hurts to watch him.

[Polliwog]

This thread makes me very tearful. I rescued a female poodle last July and we bonded instantly. She is just a love. Vet said she is 5 or 6 years old. I feel for all of you having lost your dog. I had to put down my Burmese cat a few years ago - he would have been 18. It was terribly hard but I stayed with him until the end at the vet's office.

[CathyA]

It makes me tearful too Polliwog. Pets are just the best. I know after our present dog passes, I'm not sure I want to get any more, since they might outlive us..........but darn, they are so wonderful to have around. They really enrich our lives.

[pony mom]

I can't remember where I read this, but someone said that we're sad when they leave us. But somewhere there's a huge group of animals waiting for their "friend" to come and join them back home again.

[lhamo]

So sorry you are going through this, Gardnerian. We just lost our beloved kitty on Friday. She had feline diabetes but we didn't recognize the signs. By the time I realized she was sick and got her to the vet she already was in ketoacidosis. They tried to stabilize her but it didn't work, and her system basically just shut down. I feel awful and am consumed with guilt about not having realized she was sick earlier. But at least she only really suffered for about a day. It would have been even worse if she'd been hanging on for days at the vet and then died.

Hope you can really enjoy this final time you have with your dog, and that his passing is peaceful.

[Teacher Terry]

CathyA: that is another reason that we will only have 1 dog in the future. It is not fair to leave behind a bunch of animals for the kids to worry about. With just 1 I am hoping they will keep it if it outlives us.

[chrisgermany]

Here is the article about the special day mantioned in #11 by Teacher Terry:
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/heavy_petting/2011/09/the_perfect_day.html

[Gardenarian]

My poor dog's health deteriorated rapidly, and he was euthanized yesterday. I'm glad I was able to spend so much time caring for him in his last weeks.
I feel a great deal of guilt (I do burden myself with guilt far too much, it seems such a stupid self-centered emotion.)
And so much sorrow. My eyes are messed up from weeping.

I hope he's in a better place. I loved him.

[rodeosweetheart]

My heart goes out to you, Gardenarian. Please try not to feel guilty. He is definitely in a better place and you will see him again. He knows you love him.

[TxZen]

I am so sorry for your loss Gardenarian. I can only send (((HUGS))) and know you did the right thing. He is up there with all mine, chasing balls and eating as many treats as he wants.

[catherine]

Oh, I am so sorry, Gardenarian. I know the pain. I'm ashamed to admit that I've cried more over the passing of my dogs than most of the people in my life who have died.

Don't feel guilty..I'm confident your dog had a wonderful life with you. My sincere condolences

[Float On]

Oh gosh, I was just crying over the new Budweiser commercial and now I read your news. So sorry for your loss and yet glad you were able to make his last weeks filled with love.

[CathyA]

Oh Gardenarian..........I'm so sorry. But I'm so glad that you could share your love with him in his last days. I'm sure he took it in.
Take that love and give it to another little furry friend. (((((Hugs))))

[nswef]

Gardenarian, I am so sorry. It is such a dreadful loss. Look especially closely at the stars tonight, your baby is there.

[rosarugosa]

So sorry for your loss, Gardenarian.

[Blackdog Lin]

Please accept my condolences also Gardenarian. It is so hard to lose a loved one.....

(and Float On: I read the headline about that commercial that said something about you will get tearful and I told myself uh uh, I'm warned and I will not cry. And of course 50 seconds later I'm all teared up and smiling through the tears at the ending.....I am such a sucker for emotional animal commercials.)

[kimberlyf0]

I am sorry for your loss, Gardenarian.

[SteveinMN]

I'm so sorry to hear that, Gardenarian. But know that you did the right thing. Your dog is no longer suffering. Wishing you happy memories....

[Teacher Terry]

That is the hardest choice you make yet it is the last gift you give your sweet baby dog. Virtual hug:))