Live with no regrets

[TxZen]

This is my mantra for February.

I used to hang onto stuff because mostly, I spent the money or I declared "THIS IS ME!!!" And then it didn't work out. No regrets from here on out!!!

I am doing better at not just jumping at something or buying things and that is helping but I am also getting to the root of why I choose said activity or thing and why am I moving on from it now.

As I come to understand myself more, I am feeling more authentic and am letting go with reckless abandon and it's awesome!!!

I do believe everyone should contribute to this world as best they can and what better way than being my true me without clouds of doubt hanging over me.

OH and if you run into people who don't let you let go of your past, I just say "MOVED ON thanks for asking." :cool:

[Gardenarian]

TxZen,

Great mantra.

I know how it feels to be defining yourself by your possessions; something I've been fighting with only partial success for a long time. Then again, if I must have new shoes -they should be shoes that make me smile :)

Feeling more authentic -that is such a good place to be.

[kib]

I'm trying a little experiment with budgeting for this very reason. Each week this month I'm setting myself a really tight bare bones have to shift something in order to make it work budget. It's not about the money, it's about really considering what I'm doing when I drag out my wallet. The goals:

Don't buy things before I even get started on a project with the assumption that once I'm surrounded by The Stuff, I'll do the work. Nope, chances are I'll be surrounded by The Stuff and then find life intruding. I think this is an insidious form of retail therapy because it feels virtuous but it's really just a way of hunting and gathering what turns out to be useless junk.

Finish the projects I already have going in real time, with the materials I already have. Or get rid of them, ideally for money.

Question my assumptions: What should I buy for snacks this week? (I need snacks???)

Don't keep a list of shiny things I fleetinglythink I want that I don't buy. I don't need a wish list! Eventually, that starts to look like a todo list, and I wind up buying the gel manicure kit because it was on sale.

Get rid of things I don't want - maybe I can trade three sweaters I don't wear for one I really really like. That kills several birds with one stone and costs me nothing.

Don't do retail therapy. Although I shop at thrift stores and look for bargain food items, this is still a go-to (addictive?) behavior. Why not take a walk or check out a free museum or do a project I already have on hand, read one of the dozens of nightstand books waiting for my attention, or learn how to use my phone, rather than go buy something else??? Lazy me, begone!

And, of course, have a nice chunk of money left over at the end of the month I can either invest or put toward some purchase that actually sparks joy.

[ToomuchStuff]

Kib, I like your post. Years ago, I bought stuff for projects as I found deals on them, and when I had everything or almost, I started the project and used my money to pay it off. (how I did my home remodeling)
The last several years, due to work/life getting in the way, that hasn't worked so well. Now I feel like I am trying to dig out (and what made me join the forum, trying to simplify)

I like the idea of living with no regrets, but I find that to be a lie, personally. Minimizing regrets, yes, but we have limited time here, so there will always be things you have to choose to focus on over other things and so there will always be a feeling of why didn't I do x over y.

[razz]

To live with no regrets is to be transparent as much as possible with everyone has been my mantra.
I love the idea of a tight budget for February so will adopt that one as well. Clever approach to clean up a pattern of behaviour that is less than one has actually desired.

[ctg492]

No Regrets, is that really possible? Is perhaps renaming a regret to I could have done it differently, or I learned from it, still make it a regret by just another name?
I had said for my entire adult life I had ruffly four regrets. Nothing I could not live with, just had them as part of my inner self. Then Kaboom after the last years' events and way to much time to think, I have a burden of heavy regrets. I am struggling with them to be honest. I understand I can not change my past choices only the ones I am going to make from this moment forward. Still I say to myself if I feel I made that many poor choices, what's the chance of good ones now. It leaves me second guessing everything.
This too shall pass, I hope.

[Rogar]

In one of those PBS shows on brain health I think it was Dr. Amen who said the problem with negative thoughts is that we get them in our head and then they keep playing over and over again like a tape in a loop and they crowd out the other positive things. That was important for me as I catch myself doing that. I think it's ok to have regrets once and learn from them and remember in similar situations, but to go through them over and over is what's bad and it's something we can control. In my case it's taking practice, but it does work some of the time.