How we met

[Oddball]

To the married and LTRs among us, how did you meet? Did you "just know" at first sight? My dad says yes, while my mom needed some convincing. They are still going strong 50 years later. I've had some chances to take the plunge but "just knew" they weren't the right ones. No regrets. Not really looking anymore but still keeping an eye out just in case!

[catherine]

Well, we just had our 38th wedding anniversary.

Here's my story (I'll try to be brief):
Last week of college, I was exhausted, just wanted to go home to CT, but friends came from Indiana and so I reluctantly offered to take them to a club/disco (whatever they were calling it in 1974). I didn't dress for the occasion--I looked like I came out of a convent, but I was not out trolling by any means.

We weren't having a good time. No one interesting there, but I had noticed a dapper guy in a red tartan jacket come in. He exuded confidence and he went over and sat with his friends. Anyway, that was just a diversion. We were just about to ask for the check when the waitress came by and asked me, "What do you want to drink."

"Oh, no, nothing." I said. "We were just about to ask you for the check."

"Really?" she said. "Because that gentleman over there is paying it for it." It was the tartan jacket guy. I ordered a beer.

Shortly after, he came over and asked me to dance. I said, "OK, but we're leaving in a minute."

After the dance, we sat down to talk, and my friends faded into the crowd. Shortly after, the lights went on, and I thought it must be a fire drill. After all it was only about 11:00pm. No.. 3 hours had elapsed and they were closing. My poor friends!! But he and I just clicked. I guess we never stopped clicking.

Sadly, and just as an aside, a month later, that very same club, Gullivers, burned down and 24 people were killed.

[SteveinMN]

DW and I met on-line (now the service is called match.com). She was too busy with work and I was too busy with work and family stuff to be really social. Much easier to look around the Web site at 6 am or 10:30 pm or whenever the free time finally appeared. Our first date was for coffee at a (now-gone) coffeehouse. It was not love at first sight but it was comfortable, considering there was little to distract us from talking. That date turned into a second, for a concert, and then a third, and more.

Both of us having been divorced and both of us content to be single if that's the way life worked out, I believe we walked into the relationship not wanting to see stars and Cupid's arrows. I think that made us much more realistic about the other person's bright spots and foibles. Not to say that we discovered them all before we married. But I think we had learned a lot about engaging in a LTR and about making sure ourselves and each other had the tools needed to keep it going.

I realize in re-reading this that it does not sound terribly romantic. I don't mean it that way; we love each other deeply and we're "it" for each other for the rest of our lives. :) Just that ours was not a story of setting eyes on each other and just knowing that we were meant to be. Both of us had been there, done that. This is much better!

[iris lilies]

The love of my life came into my house and had eyes for only me. He was sweet and quiet and he was into me, I could tell! Oh yes there were other girls around, even one who was, Er, in heat , but he just wanted to be with me. He is one big handsome dude with giant frame, big shoulders.


For months he followed me around like a puppy --oh wait, he is a dog! Not a puppy. Yep this is my bulldog, Teddy Bear. Hahahah.
He adores me, I,ve never had a dog who follows me every place I go.

Now for DH--we met at a singles event in northern Iowa in January. Men in Iowa grow beards in the winter and I love beards, so there was a lot to shop in that room! But despite them all having beards, DH stood out because he was quiet and had big shoulders. He is short and substantially built. (Sound familiar?) :)

so we we started dating and got married after about 18 months. First marriage for both of us, married for around 25 years.

I did not know that he was "the one" but I thought of him as "a real possibility"

[Francie]

HAHAHAHA ... memories, memories ...... junior college, he was 18, I had just turned 19. Some (girl) friends and I were at a movie, and he and some (guy) friends were there also, and after the movie we "paired off" and went out and "parked", as it was called in those days. He was quite drunk, and a sweet young boy, and we talked, and at some point he took my class ring ... the next day he says he couldn't remember whose ring he had and asked his roommate, who told him it was mine, and he came over to return my ring (I lived at home). We spent a couple of hours laughing and talking, he kept my ring, and the next weekend he went home (he lived out of town) broke up with his "girlfriend", got his ring back, and we've been together ever since. I have no idea WHY. We just seemed to "fit", I guess. We will be married 50 years in August.

I've read since that two things that "attract" people are taste and smell. Well, he smelled like beer, obviously (and I don't drink and never have, but I do like the smell of beer :~)), and I guess he must have tasted good :), so 52 1/2 years and two kids later it worked out just fine.

As an aside, one of the other couples that paired off that night are still married as well, and we're still very good friends. We have a lot to laugh about ...

[herbgeek]

The company where I was hired out of college hired a lot of new college grads, and there was quite the social scene (this was early 80s). I first noticed my husband at a going away party after work at a local watering hole. I think I maybe danced with him once that night. In early January, he asked me on a real date to see Tom Lehrer in Boston. I didn't know at the time, but it was Superbowl Sunday, and my husband was a big sports fan. I thought he might have a medical problem because he kept excusing himself to use the bathroom- I found out much later he was going into the bar to see the score! :)

His cube was right by the copy machine, and I kept making up excuses to go copy things. He never picked up on it. There was another after work bash, and we wound up spending the evening chatting with each other and forgetting there were other people there. And 3 weeks later we got engaged at a Chinese restaurant, and he ran out of gas on the way to a movie. Not an auspicious beginning. And it will be 30 years of marriage in April.

[Float On]

He was dating my roommate. It's o.k. she even came to our wedding and is still a good friend. We had our first date and I told him I was moving to Memphis 2 weeks later. He came to visit in Memphis twice. I came back to Btown for a visit and 2 weeks later we were engaged. The 6 month engagement my parents talked me into (because we hadn't had that many dates) was way too long, 3 mts would of been much better. We have our 25th anniv next week.

[Alan]

I was in the Air Force, stationed at Elmendorf AFB, Anchorage Alaska. One night while on duty as the Law Enforcement Desk Sergeant I received a phone call from a woman in Ohio who was desperately seeking her daughter. It seems that the daughter was enroute to Elmendorf as her first Air Force Duty assignment. She had called her mother during a layover in Seattle and promised to call again as soon as she touched down in Anchorage. It was around 11pm in Anchorage and around 4am in Ohio. The mother had been up all night anxiously awaiting that call letting her know that her little girl was safe and sound, but the call hadn't come and was about 4 hours overdue.

I promised the mother that I would find her daughter and get back with her as soon as possible. An hour or so later, I did find that the wayward girl was on a shuttle from the airport and would be reporting into the base shortly. I arranged to have her dropped off at my office. When she walked in I asked her if she was Airman Suter. She smiled and said "yes", to which I replied in my most authoritative voice, "Call your mother, she's worried sick about you". She was terribly embarrassed to be called into the police station immediately upon arrival at her first duty station only to be told to call home as if she were a high-schooler caught staying out past her curfew.

I decided to make her discomfort up to her by volunteering to show her around the area later in the week, once she had settled in. We got married 9 months later. We'll celebrate our 39th anniversary in November.

[Oddball]

I believe we walked into the relationship not wanting to see stars and Cupid's arrows. I think that made us much more realistic about the other person's bright spots and foibles.

Great stories, everyone. Thanks for sharing. Shortly after posting this morning, I heard this radio interview that touches on Steve's comments above. Worth listening to.

Learning to Love Well: Thoughts on a Long-Lasting Relationship (http://newdimensions.org/learning-to-love-well-thoughts-on-a-long-lasting-relationship-with-linda-carroll)

[sweetana3]

My husband was a blind date arranged by a friend in my college dorm in Fairbanks, Alaska. One of her friends from NY was stationed at Ft. Richardson and she was matchmaking. I could not think up a reasonable excuse so went. Got married little over a year later and now it has been 42 years. It was pretty amazing. Hit it off right away. Dad got tired of future hubby falling asleep on the sofa while Civilization with Alister McLean (spelling) PBS was on Sunday night. Being in the military made getting married and moving "off base" very attractive.

[pinkytoe]

1975. I took a summer job as a cashier at a chi-chi wine and cheese shop. DH was the manager and my boss. That was during the heydey of the TV show "Three's Company so another cashier and myself along with DH decided to rent an apartment together as it sounded fun and scandalous. When the company got wind of it, they fired DH, I quit and he and we traveled on down the road of life - minus the other roommate.

[kimberlyf0]

We met in high school, and while the sparks definitely flew I already had a boyfriend, so we didn't end up together for a couple of years. We've been married 25+ years now.

[Francie]

Some friends of ours started -- I don't know what the right word is -- "liking each other" when they were in 4th grade. They were best friends, and it never ended. They never dated anyone else, and never wanted to. (We didn't know them then.) I don't know how long they've been married, but they're around 40, he's a teacher and she's an audiologist, and they have an approximately-ten-year-old son. It's amazing how these things work out sometimes.

[bae]

First day of boarding school, in high school. I was a sophomore.

Walked into AP Physics, there was one girl in the class. Walked into AP Calculus - the same girl there, also the only girl. On to Latin I/II - one girl there, the same one, she was in the Latin II section.

I figured she was one smart cookie, and that it'd be worthwhile to get to know her. We've been together ever since. That was 38 years ago.

She tells me she noticed me the same day, because I was wearing really tight jeans, had a surfer tan/muscles/hairstyle, and used a skateboard to get around campus on, a rare sight on this ranching school in Colorado, but heck, I was a California transplant to the school.

[rosarugosa]

We were kids together. I met DH out in my driveway when he was 7 and I was 9. I thought he was kind of creepy because he was boy, but there was also a strong element of attraction. The attraction eventually won out and we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary last year.

[ctg492]

1978 high school, he was cute with long blonde curls feathered bangs, leather jacket, I had a car he did not. I think It was just a perfect match.

[Selah]

First husband: We met in a bookstore in Paris (awww!). I heard his voice and immediately heard a voice in my head, saying "do not let that man leave without talking to him." We talked, went for coffee, had another date the next day, and I moved in a few months later when we got engaged.

Second husband: Dating website on Yahoo! I recognized his picture because I used to drool over his picture that was plastered up on a billboard in town, which I'd see every day driving into Vegas from Pahrump, Nevada. He was the local anchor of the television news at the time. What a hottie...still is! Seriously, women still "congratulate" me on "getting" such a handsome man! That isn't the reason I married him, though...it was just a nice "pre-qualifier." He moved in two weeks after we met, and we got married two years or so later. We just celebrated our fifth anniversary.

[Francie]

Selah: so enjoy reading your blog! So happy that things are working out for both of you, and your cats! Welcome Home!

[Blackdog Lin]

Great stories everyone.

We ended up hanging around the same parties (sex, drugs, rock-n-roll - hey, it was the 70's!) just after I had finally given up on my "high-school sweetheart" summer before my senior year. DH had graduated already, in May.

He was the cutest and sweetest and shyest guy I'd every been around. He pursued me, but I had to seduce him ('bout a year-and-a-half later). And after 2 years of dating he convinced me to just go ahead and marry him. And it was 38 years ago last September.

[profnot]

A gal I used to work with near San Francisco had a great "how we met" story.

She's tiny, from the Bronx, and has a strong nose. (This is relevant.)

She lost her first husband during a camping accident. A year later, she was still sad. She thought a road trip down the Calif coastline would do her good.

She was in line waiting for the bus when 2 guys behind started to tease her in a flirty way. She was having none of it and told them to stop. They didn't so she punched one guy in the arm. The guys apologized and the 3 of them had a normal conversation.

The punched arm guy had formerly been married to a pretty little milktoast. Her passivity and lack of any opinion about everything eventually drove him nuts. She was nice but not for him. That was a year or two before Bus Meet.

Being hit in the arm got his attention. He took a good look at Bronx Gal, loved her strong nose, and started asking when she planned to return to SF. He haunted the bus station for weeks before he found her again.

When I worked with her, they had twin teenage girls. And I've heard thru the grapevine he still adores her.

[Glo]

We both worked in a department store. I worked there part time as I had a full-time job and I was saving to move to a different state. I was not interested in dating anyone seriously and went out with DH only because I considered him a "player" with no possibities except having fun. Here we are 44 years later and still having fun. He said it was love at first sight for him; me, not so much.

[larknm]

A new set of offices opened on 86th and Central Park West. I rented an office and a pharmacy also opened then, 1986. I was a psychoanalyst with enough lifelong-low-income adult patients who had seldom or never been to a doctor or pharmacy that it became relevant to help them learn how to take care of their health.

I would send them over to the pharmacy to ask for DH, tell him their symptoms and ask his advice about what OTC thing to take. He was so gentle and kind I knew he would treat them respectfully. But the patients and I practiced before they went over, like (them, with my prompting): I have a sore throat, what should I do? Me: How long have you had it/do you think you have a fever (etc). After they saw him, they became confident pharmacy-users, alert to the possibilities of health-care for themselves. They loved him and were happy when he and I got together and later got married.

My first thought about marrying him came from noticing how good he was to his old women customers and how he seemed to like them. I thought this could be good for me through the years, and I was right--as an old man 29 years later, he loves me more tenderly than ever. I feel the same way about him.

[TVRodriguez]

These are so sweet. I love reading them.

DH and I met in my mother's kitchen 15 years ago. He was a volunteer on a medical mission my family was taking to South America, and he was dropping off supplies. I had just been dumped by my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years, and I felt like I'd never love again (I was 26). Then I met DH and thought, "gee, he's cute; maybe I will love again." Didn't see him again for 2 or 3 months when the mission started. A week into the mission, we admitted to liking each other, and by the time we returned to the States, we were a couple. Four years later, we married. Our 11th anniversary is this year. I still think he's cute.